'I'm approachable' signs?

[luvtoto]

If she does not smile or make eye contact and looks away I read that as "I don't want to be approached."

 

You'll have to learn to overcome those insecurities and smile at men and make eye contact. Takes a little practice to get good, but what doesn't?

Yes! I will work on it. I never realized how shy and unapproachable I was before. Once I started to pay attention to it, I noticed that I glance at the floor alot when I walk, and don't smile much.

 

But, now that I am aware...I am a changed woman!

 

When I online date, I can usually pick and choose. But, in real life...I just can't seem to get the guy to approach me.

 

I went to the grocery store after work, I smiled at a cute guy for the hell of it. It was just kinda fun to do!

[CaliGuy]

I went to the grocery store after work, I smiled at a cute guy for the hell of it. It was just kinda fun to do!

 

 

Well there you go, you're on your way to being a more confident and outgoing woman.

 

Trust me, all it takes is that eye contact and a smile. A confident, secure man (the kind you want to attract) will pick up on that and initiate the conversation.

 

Do however make a point to practice walking up to and talking to men. It will make you more comfortable around them. I've been doing it for a long time now and I can say that I can talk to just about every woman, even the hottest ones in the room and not break a sweat.

 

And yes, I've gotten some negative responses as well, but I chalk that up to them being in a bad mood or just generally not receptive. I don't let it bother me, their attitude is not within my control.

[luvtoto]

Do however make a point to practice walking up to and talking to men. It will make you more comfortable around them. I've been doing it for a long time now and I can say that I can talk to just about every woman, even the hottest ones in the room and not break a sweat.

I have never walked up to a stranger guy in my life! haha! I have had guy friends that tell me women approach them all the time though. I feel a twinge of jealousy towards those women.

 

I have lots to work on, don't I?

[Porn_Guy]

only problem is that everyone, regardless of their own looks, is looking at and smiling at the good looking people. the avg looking and ugly people get little attention from anyone.

 

for example, since i'm handsome i get women looking and smiling all the time. i'm used to it and know what it means. unfortunately the ugly dude in the room with me gets no looks and no smiles. poor guy!

[johan]

Porn guy,

 

That may be how it is at your parties. But you're really young, and that's sometimes how young, immature people act. When you get older and start a career and start going to adult parties, you'll see that a good personality can be as great an attractor as good looks.

 

I've been to parties where the good-looking rich guy was kind of an ass, and no one really felt the need to deal with him. I've known plenty of good-looking women and men who were really insecure people. And they never got together with quality people. They could get dates and stuff, but their relationships were disasters.

 

You'll see someday, kid.

[amaysngrace]

poor guy!

 

It's nice you feel sympathy towards the poor guy porn guy. That's cool you feel for your friends so young.

 

You're mama must've raised you right.

[johan]

Ah, to be a teenager again! I remember when I was just starting to figure this stuff out, too.

[Porn_Guy]

I've been to parties where the good-looking rich guy was kind of an ass, and no one really felt the need to deal with him. I've known plenty of good-looking women and men who were really insecure people. And they never got together with quality people. They could get dates and stuff, but their relationships were disasters.

i don't know which parties you are attending but thats not my experience. most research studies done in the past show that physically attractive people of both sexes are happier and more successful, on average, than everyone else.

[IpAncA]

I have never walked up to a stranger guy in my life! haha! I have had guy friends that tell me women approach them all the time though. I feel a twinge of jealousy towards those women.

 

I have lots to work on, don't I?

 

Well I never walked up to strangers myself either unless I was sitting next to them in class or something. But usually then I was the one that was approached all the time. It's annoying but you get used to it.

 

I mean I'm a social butterfly myself but for crying out loud I never went up to the guy in the store who's getting meat from the deil. I could see that going real well "so what kind of meat did you get?"

 

But I think too that if you did it enough you'll be able to talk to anyone with no problem:D

[johan]

Sure, Porn_guy, it's true as a matter of trends overall. But that doesn't mean anyone who isn't attractive the way you define it is sh*t out of luck. The way you describe it, the attractive people are worshipped by each other, and also by the unattractive people who essentially stand around the perimeter and never achieve anything. There's hope for ugly people, porn_guy. Give them a chance and you'll see how much they can achieve. Some of them are actually worth having around, although you might not think so just by looking at them.

 

Maybe you're mostly just speaking for yourself, because you're never attracted to women who aren't porn-chick hot. But that's you.

 

For luvtoto, I also think it's a good thing to just be open, don't worry about it, smile and say hi. Just as a matter of normal behavior, because you like people. Showing that amount of openness might net you some friends, possibly some lovers, and also a stalker or two.

[amaysngrace]

You just gotta be more assertive and confident in who you are, Luv.

 

It's not about how you dress or how you look. It's about the space you own when you go somewhere.

 

I'm pretty confident overall. And I'm going to give you the best rule I can from my own experience: look at them like you have a secret. A good secret that you wanna share. You know the look.

 

It gets them everytime.

[Porn_Guy]

It's not about how you dress or how you look. It's about the space you own when you go somewhere.

I've never seen an ugly woman wearing clothes from walmart look like she's "owning space" wherever she goes.....maybe you're talking about being big and fat???

[amaysngrace]

I've never seen an ugly woman wearing clothes from walmart look like she's "owning space" wherever she goes.....maybe you're talking about being big and fat???

 

No. That's not what I mean at all. That to me would be taking up space. And oxygen too. MY oxygen. Cause it's MY space too.

[Storyrider]

I've never seen an ugly woman wearing clothes from walmart look like she's "owning space" wherever she goes.....maybe you're talking about being big and fat???

 

Porn_Guy, maybe you should give Secular Humanism a try. I think you need to have a little more respect for the intrinsic value of the human person.

[johan]

Porn_Guy, maybe you should give Secular Humanism a try. I think you need to have a little more respect for the intrinsic value of the human person.

 

Yeah. Now would be a good time to start figuring this stuff out. Don't wait until you're 40 and set in your ways to start looking for a "religion" to attach yourself to.

[Porn_Guy]

Hey guys, would you ever approach an attractive, single woman in public place as a way of meeting her??

yes i have done this but many women are not amenable to meeting strange men in public. in addition, some women are just looking for attention and like to flirt with men and then when they approach they get turned down. its a very risky undertaking for men. now if i'm at a party i will not hesitate to approach a woman i don't know. but thats very different than the parking lot of neiman marcus. women are always on their guard and men don't know when women are being sincere.

[orangehose]

Hey guys, would you ever approach an attractive, single woman in public place as a way of meeting her?

 

If you have, what made her approachable to you?

 

Did she give off some kind of an "I'm approachable" sign to you?

 

What are these signs?

 

I'm a female who (if statistical evidence means anything) has a lot of trouble with this too - it sounds stupid, but direct eye contact with male strangers still feels like quite an exertion to me. Some part of me that was raised as a child to believe "strangers are evil" just pipes up to save my butt from being abducted (or whatever tale my kindergarten teacher indoctrinated me with). Making a 180 degree shift in this behavior involves a certain repression of instincts.

 

Something we'll have to practice, I suppose!!

[Porn_Guy]

I'm a female who (if statistical evidence means anything) has a lot of trouble with this too - it sounds stupid, but direct eye contact with male strangers still feels like quite an exertion to me.

but if there is someone who your are genuinely attracted to there is no way you'll be able to keep from NOT looking at them...

[2sunny]

but if there is someone who your are genuinely attracted to there is no way you'll be able to keep from NOT looking at them...

 

Alpha - what is that avatar? You need to change that... and isn't it past your bedtime there?

[Trimmer]

... i get women looking and smiling all the time. i'm used to it and know what it means.

You may want to check the mirror on the way out, just to make sure you don't have chunks of food stuck to your chin.

 

I mean I'm a social butterfly myself but for crying out loud I never went up to the guy in the store who's getting meat from the deil. I could see that going real well "so what kind of meat did you get?"

 

But I think too that if you did it enough you'll be able to talk to anyone with no problem:D

I started up a nice conversation with a woman looking over the various high-end chocolate bars in the supermarket one day. Maybe chocolate just provides a more sensible starting point than "meat"....

 

...most research studies done in the past show that physically attractive people of both sexes are happier and more successful, on average, than everyone else.

Yes, but it's a little-known fact that most of these studies were commissioned and financed by the cosmetic and fashion industries, so their credibility is in question. (Do I really need the smiley here?)

[Porn_Guy]

Yes, but it's a little-known fact that most of these studies were commissioned and financed by the cosmetic and fashion industries, so their credibility is in question. (Do I really need the smiley here?)

oh yeah the Univ of Michigan School of Sociology is funded by cosmetix and fashion.

[Pyro]

Hey guys, would you ever approach an attractive, single woman in public place as a way of meeting her?

 

If you have, what made her approachable to you?

 

Did she give off some kind of an "I'm approachable" sign to you?

 

What are these signs?

 

Yes, of course. Thats how I met my GF.

 

Some eye contact

Some smiling to go with the eye contact

[Pyro]

So, if a woman blushes and looks away, is that a bad sign to a man? I do that all the time!

 

Not a bad sign at all. I like it when a woman does that. Its cute.

[Pyro]

Ya know the saying, you are what you attract.

 

If I dress slutty, I will attract slutty.

 

Not my style.

 

That is true, but one time that rule was broken.

 

My first relationship was with a gal that was your typical trendy gal. She had all the latest fashions, but it was also borderline slutty. I hated her style. I am not trendy at all, but she was still attracted to me. Of course she ended up being an insecure psycho but that story is for another thread.

[IpAncA]

 

I started up a nice conversation with a woman looking over the various high-end chocolate bars in the supermarket one day. Maybe chocolate just provides a more sensible starting point than "meat"....

 

I was just saying. That would be so embrassing.