Feeling Lost.

[Sarah9]

Hello! This is my first post but i've been looking around the site for a while.

 

Basically, me and my bf have been going out for 11 months now. I was so happy the first day we started going out, but then the day after i started to panic and for the next several months i was having doubts about the whole thing.

 

This wore off after a while, but it's always been in the back of my mind, nagging me constantly. My bf is very sweet and we have a lot in common - but has problems communicating.

 

Recently, my doctor advised i attend anger management/depression therapy. I know this has taken a toll on my relationship but i'm not sure what he thinks about it all. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but there's always a little voice at the back of my head telling me that i don't love him enough, and i'm only going out with him for the security and friendship.

 

Every time we try anything intimate i feel like i'm not interested - like i've become to see him as a friend rather than a boyfriend. Now it seems we argue more and i feel that we've grown more distant. I don't want to break up with him and feel guilty for even imagining what would happen if i did.

 

The question is - Do i confront him and tell him that our relationship has turned platonic like i fear, or wait it out and see if things change?

 

I'm terrified that our relationship might not work out and i want to feel in love with him again!

 

Please help!

 

Thanks.

[norajane]

When were you in love with him to begin with? That first day?

 

Since then, it sounds like you haven't really been involved in this relationship emotionally. Or am I reading your post wrong?

 

Listen to those little voices inside - that's your gut instinct talking and it usually has something very important to say. Listen to your instincts.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Your doctor has a point -or rather, a well grounded preposition that you may want to try out for the sake of well-being and health.

 

Do i confront him and tell him that our relationship has turned platonic like i fear, or wait it out and see if things change?

 

There is no right or wrong in this situation. You, only, know what is best and see fit according to your circumstances.

 

First is first, I recommend you visit a therapist and have one session -or perhaps 3 to taste a sense of your being and position as an individual in your life/relationship.

 

Second: Don't ignore those little voices in your head. Consider the voices as a sane/health marker.

 

Third: IF you are uncertain about the message these voices are sending then sit down with yourself and attempt to decode them. Next, on a scale of 1 to 10 rate the voices based on intensity. In this manner, you should be able to understand their involvement in your relationship/life.

 

Four: Falling in love with the same person for the second time around, is particularly difficult in today's medium. It is not a simple on and off switch.

 

You may or may not fall in love with him, again. However, there is one method you could use to refresh the relationship -after you have done some self-prognosis and deep thinking -is to start new. On a clean page. Clean slate.

 

Begin a new journey with him. Re-learn everything about him. Likes and dislikes -and vice versa.

 

Good Luck.

Sand&Water

[thetruthhurts]

Hello! This is my first post but i've been looking around the site for a while.

 

Basically, me and my bf have been going out for 11 months now. I was so happy the first day we started going out, but then the day after i started to panic and for the next several months i was having doubts about the whole thing.

 

This wore off after a while, but it's always been in the back of my mind, nagging me constantly. My bf is very sweet and we have a lot in common - but has problems communicating.

 

Recently, my doctor advised i attend anger management/depression therapy. I know this has taken a toll on my relationship but i'm not sure what he thinks about it all. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but there's always a little voice at the back of my head telling me that i don't love him enough, and i'm only going out with him for the security and friendship.

 

Every time we try anything intimate i feel like i'm not interested - like i've become to see him as a friend rather than a boyfriend. Now it seems we argue more and i feel that we've grown more distant. I don't want to break up with him and feel guilty for even imagining what would happen if i did.

 

The question is - Do i confront him and tell him that our relationship has turned platonic like i fear, or wait it out and see if things change?

 

I'm terrified that our relationship might not work out and i want to feel in love with him again!

 

Please help!

 

Thanks.

 

 

Look i am going to give it to you straight..

 

you probaly don't want to break up with him even though your not inlove with him anymore because you are just ATTACHED to him..and got used to having him around..kinna like a best friend..

 

 

If you do stay with him ..with out that "inlove" feeling..or we can say the "magic" that keeps people together..you might be waiting for that magic to come back..

 

but the truth is..it's either THERE..or it's not..

 

one should not WAIT...till its there..

 

caz along the road of you waiting for it to come back..there will be that person that you meet that you will feel that MAGIC with..and it will be an incredible feeling...and he could be the best thing that EVER happened to you...but you will miss out because you will still be with your BF..who you dont have the magic with, but you are incredibly attached with..

 

SO get un attached..realize you are your own person..and love your self..and know you are fine WITH OUT him...because you where before you meet him right? get in that mind set...

 

and be happy..

 

 

You might dissagree...and you will probaly just stay with your bf even though "love is not there...

 

when you can be having the time of your life....LIVING..