paris38 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I was seeing someone for about a year and 8 months when 5 months ago he decided to break up with me because he said he lost that "spark." I was devastated. After that we had some contact, friendly emails, a phone call every couple weeks....he went through painful surgery in the meantime so I sent him supportive emails, etc. In the meantime I also lost 20 pounds from occupying myself with going through the gym and focused on work, impressed my principal (I am a teacher and before this was kind of on shaky ground)....so things were going great...I had gotten fit, looked better than ever, and I had finally gained respect from my boss. My ex and I got together, he was really amazed at how I looked and at my happy attitude. A couple weeks later, he called, and wanted to get together. When he came to my place, he made some references to 'friends with benefits.' I was devastated again, because I wanted to get back together with him....but I made out with him, but stopped.....he was cool with it...however, this lead to some heated emails and phone calls on my part after he casually emailed me that he was starting to date someone else.....he later told me he had made it up to see if I was seeing someone else....this was all back in late Nov/early Dec. I think if I had played it cooler, I could have won him back, but after he had emailed that he had started dating someone the same week he had tried to have sex with me, I sort of went off the 'deep end' with upset phone call messages and a few emails....since then we have agreed to be friends but not get together...but....I WANT to get back together. I feel thatif he didn't still love me, he wouldn't still be emailing and casual phone calls to me...there is still something there for him....if I wait a few months with NO contact to him, no emails, no response to his emails unless very brief and short, and no phone calls to him....is it possible he may get over my brief 'going off the deep end' and realize he still wants me? He is a wonderful man and I've never felt like this toward anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 well, first of all, u have to stop thinking and start doing actually talk and see each other u know he/she will start seeing someone else when i was single i was on a dating site and i meet a few women i would date right now - the point is i am TELLING THE ONE to start moving but in a gentle way - and how does someone get 'lets meet and have a meal' to mean i wanna f]uk u pleaaaaaaaaase - get out of the house more - in my case i've stepped up as the man is supposed to over 15 times, took the lead and directed - nothing - so, i stopped i called someone earlier and WHOA! we talked right away and i have a date saturday keep it simple folks Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 He doesn't sound so wonderful. Why play the games with you? Keep working on yourself. If he doesn't realize what he's missing- it's his loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author paris38 Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 This is what I need to hear. I am so happy with how I look and even more so with my progress at work, why should I let this man get me down? He had the nerve to email me about all the things that were wrong with me when we were together and one of them was why didn't I try to lose weight for HIM when we were together? I must not have loved him enough, also why was my condo so clean and organized suddenly AFTER we broke up, why didn't I make it so clean when we were together? In the meantime he has gained 15 or so pounds, he is noticeably heavier and uses the excuse "well I had surgery". Thanks, I guess I just needed to vent, the email detailing my faults really brought me down. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I had to deal with the break up conversation that detailed all my faults too. Those words haunted me for months following my break up. Things like a little weight and a cluttered apartment are trivial in the grand scheme of things. Those aren't things that a "nice guy" breaks up with you for. When you love and respect someone you embrace the good and the bad parts of them. Nobody's perfect- geez. He needs to give his head a shake! Don't internalize all that negative stuff he said. Continue to work on the things YOU want to change. I have a close female friend who is married to an ass-h**e. He's an overweight, lazy beer guzzling jerk- and all he ever does is nag at her to lose weight, clean their house- he picks apart her cooking and isolates her from her friends. She, in turn, has become a shell of the vibrant, happy girl I once knew. It's so sad to see. She's made the mistake of thinking this guy is the best she can attain. Don't make that mistake. You can have it all. Someone will come along who will love you unconditionally, flaws and all! And we all have flaws... D Link to post Share on other sites
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