I messed up big time, I think I lost a friend

[Evilken21]

I know this is for love problems but it can somewhat relate to it.

 

A few months ago I met this girl, she actually came to me awhile back, we both got along great and had fun talking to each other.

 

Thoughout our friendship, we made out a few times and sometimes I would pick her up from work and drop her off...

 

Eventually though she got a boyfriend, but he's been talking about this guy for a little while now so...I probably could of had her but I never really asked her out or anything, because at the time I wasn't ready for a relationship.

 

As time went on, we grew further and further apart, she seemed less interesting me in and such, but we still talked.

 

I made alot of jokes about her boyfriend scott and she really had a problem with my Jealously. This was my first mistake, acting all Jealous. she explained to me that I should stop, so I did for awhile after that. in the past 2 weeks its been really really hard for me to get a hold of her over the phone..

 

but recently, I messed up bad and the really stupid part about it is that I hardly remember it....and i was like half way drunk

 

 

Apprantly, I called her house last night and I asked for her, her moms b/f was on the phone.

 

So..apprantly while I was on the phone with this guy I talked crap about my friends boyfriend.

 

So..she found out this morning and got really really pissed at me, she send me an emailed saying she was not happy at all and that I needed to chat with her, at first I was confused and than I realized what I've done last night. I send her this..

 

"Dawn, all I can say is that Im sorry for saying that and if you don't wanna talk to me now, I really can't blame you.

 

But I am hoping this won't change anything. Yea, it was wrong of me and usually I don't joke around like that but im just different when im buzzed out ya know.

 

Anyway, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

 

Unfornately this didn't make the situation ay better.

 

 

 

She send me this

 

"you know i told you that the jealousy crap HAD to stop...i thought you had that clear in your head and then you pull this ****. my mom isnt very happy and thats whats making me pissed off. i already know you dont like scott. youve made that very clear. but you cant keep mouthing off and talking ****. i understand your situation, but he IS my boyfriend and believe it or not i DO get offended when you talk about him. im sorry Ken. i thought we were ok. i wanted to hang out still. but i really dont know if things are gonna be the same, i really just dont know what to do with you right now Ken. i like you. your a real nice guy. but it just doesnt seem like your getting past this scott thing.

 

 

 

I send her this after that email

 

"I understand Dawn and nothing I can do right now will make the situation any better.

 

Im so sorry for the trouble I have caused for you, really I am. You have no idea. What I did was stupid and I understand how you feel towards me right now"

 

After that, she deleted me from her msn and myspace, I told her that I didn't want to lose her...she told me she was really sorry and doesn't know what to do right now, she said everyone is telling her to do this..

 

Im so depressed about this now, im crying because it was my fault. Is there anyway I can fix this??

[masked_man]

Sorry to hear what's happened here mate. As I see it you've apologised for your behaviour (though drunken calls in the middle of the night tend to linger for a long time in the memory of the person you called...) but she's still putting distance between you and her.

 

Really the only thing you could do now is completely keep your distance and let things cool down. She may be "OK" with it all after a while, but then again she may not.

 

Sounds like she was moving further away from the friendship anyway, so maybe this will be the end of it. If I were you I'd probably try and focus on other things and, to be frank, move on completely from her.

 

She's in a relationship, and is otherwise occupied, and even if that ended it's hard to see her being interested in something with you.

 

Good luck with it all

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

There is no easy route to fix the situation, the friendship/quasi-relationship. But, that doesn't mean there is zero hope. There is hope for you, Evilken21.

 

From a woman's point of view, this is what I believe you should do to retrieve her confidence, and the friendship.

 

First and foremost, it is obvious you are profoundly sorry. However women, such as Dawn, don't internalize verbal apologies well enough to accept the fact and throw away the hurt. She needs to see gestures/actions for herself.

 

As a result, I suggest you buy her a dozen roses [ -not necessarily roses, anything IF you like] and a card. In the card, write out your full blown apology.

 

Drop off the gift, and card at her house. Afterwards, don't contact her again.

 

IF she truly values you, and the friendship she will contact you. Then you may begin to re-establish a healthy friendship/relationship.

 

Good Luck.

Sand&Water

[Evilken21]

but I don't know where she lives, I never been to her place before.

[Evilken21]

God help I really dont know what to do! She still has not contacted me yet and im afriad she will never contact me again!

 

How long should I wait intill I contact her again?

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

IF you want, call her. You can meet up with her for coffee and tell her you want to give her something. Then present her with what you have to say or a gift.

 

IF you can't do that, send her an e-mail with your apology.

 

Then don't contact her for a few weeks. Let her cool off, and re-gain perspective.

 

After a while, contact her to do something fun -both of you can engage in or just a simple visit/talk.

 

IF she is still not willing to contact you or associate herself with your attitude then you should put it behind you.

 

You can't show eagerness, as of right now. She needs to see your good side, and how much you value the friendship/relationship.

 

Don't do something stupid in the meantime, though. Be a man.

 

A few things to consider.

Sand&Water

[Evilken21]

Me and her were really good friends!

 

But I felt as though I wasn't a good friend, because she wanted to hang out recently but I haven't told her that my car has broken down yet, I was probably going to hold it off for 2 months intill I get a new car.

 

I was going to tell her, but now I can't do much right now at all, I can't ask her to even meet me somewhere because I can't drive there.

 

 

oh god oh god oh god will she ever contact me again?????

[Evilken21]

A responds would be nice......

[Guest]

Dude, I'd go wih what MASKED_MAN said. Seriously.

 

You blew it. We all - each of us- do something like this at one time or other. Just it LET IT GO, and move on. But don't wallow in your mistakes. You said sorry but shes shut the gate. Come on man leave at that. FORGET it. Go do somethng else.