Sand&Water Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 There are two men that I have come to know. Both are good friends of mine. Slowly, I have been awarded the opportunity to learn more about each one and vice versa. I could ramble on for pages about their great qualities, personalities, attributes, and personal sincerity -because they truly are just that -but this is not the time. Over the last little while, I have come to a realization that both are showing interest in me. Now. Don't get me wrong, any woman in my place would be flattered and thrilled at the thought. I am happy to have established a pleasant connection with each. But, I am heading in a different direction, so to speak. I want to tell each one that I would like to continue enjoyably sharing a friendship-based connection [ -as of right now, but willing to leave the door open for the future]. I don't want to lead them on . . . wishful thinking on their part. How do I tell them that I am not looking to get involved, just friendship? Thank you in advance. Regards, Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
nextel Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 And the problem is here is what???? I sure wish I was in your situation. I dont have any words of wisdom other than continue the friendship by telling them that you want to cultivate your bond and understand what it is they are both in your life for. You are in probably the best situation most of us would love to be in. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Tell them what you told us. You owe it to them and to yourself to be honest about enjoying your friendship but not being ready or eager to commit right now although you acknowledge that could change over time. How each of them handles that will say a lot about them and their character and intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
Ultimate ATF Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 Alright, I'm a boy, this is what I would expect. You should simply go up to the dude and say that you like him, but don't really want to go on a date. Or, that they are enjoyable and would be a good friend to have. Ya know, like that. Unfortunately, if I get involved in a girl, its like either true deep love or nothing. Not just friends if they are pretty. Its sort of hard to word... Curmudgeon did put it a good way, but consider my way. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sand&Water Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 RE: I completely understand your post, Nextel. But, I much rather focus on the friendship than to purely fling and self-absorb through the entire relation. You are in probably the best situation most of us would love to be in. Ideally, perhaps. But, in my life, not really. Believe me, feeding two men the friendship line, will not be easy -rather disappointing. Regards, Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sand&Water Posted January 8, 2007 Author Share Posted January 8, 2007 RE: You make an excellent point, Curmudgeon. Which, of course, I figured all along. You owe it to them and to yourself to be honest about enjoying your friendship but not being ready or eager to commit right now although you acknowledge that could change over time. I, absolutely, want to be honest with both of them. It is part of who I am, to be up-front and forward with friends. All the more, I am positive both men will handle the announcement with great composure. However, this is not what worries me. I just don't want the friendship to change in form, shape, or dynamic -even though, undoubtedly, it will. I would be happy, and satisfied to continue maintaining the same great platonic environment, and connection with both. I do hope both men will understand my intentions. Because, after all, I want to keep them in my life. Regards, Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Hmmm, to be honest I don't think I'd say anything. If you haven't lead them to think that the relationship with you is anything more than friendship, then I don't think you need to address the issue until something firmer arises. Could it just be that the friendship is getting closer, and they're not interested in something more romantic/committed? I just think that if it's not the case that they want something more, then you are risking changing the dynamics of the friendship. Until someone actually makes a move, then I don't think I'd say anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Porn_Guy Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 why would you stay "friends" with them if you know they want more? thats a major dis-service to everyone involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Ultimate ATF Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 Just insist that you are too good of friends to have a serious relationship. If they are nice and cooperative they will stay. If they find you too attractive, then, uh, that could be a problem... Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 why would you stay "friends" with them if you know they want more? thats a major dis-service to everyone involved.Does she actually know, or just suspect? That's what I'm saying.... if she doesn't know for sure that's what they are after, then she can potentially ruin a friendship by even mentioning it. Link to post Share on other sites
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