long post...

[seperatedmindset]

ok its gonna be a small book but ill try and keep it short.

 

so my parents divorced when i was 15. had a verbally abusive father whom also broke my wrist at age 12. lost my virginity at 19 even though i told a lot of my former partners 12. cause i had done almost everything but actul full blown intercourse. anyways i hit puberty around 11-12. have had probably close to 30 g/f since 12 yrs old 21 of them being from 19 to this point. my mom always could read what i was thinking up until i was 20 or so im currently 25 since then shes accused me of being sneaky and short and snippy with her however i think she has her own issues towards men in general. as shes been cheated on and used, lie to and so forth. i would ask her opnion as a woman about certain situations i was having with my g/fs just the verbal, communication, issues and so on.

 

anyways somewhere around 21 i realized more or less what i desire in a woman. which turned out to be none of the women around my age. since then ive been with relativly nothing but older women and a few my age.

so main reasons why things wouldnt work out with most was thier family, their children, financial. examples are children who have no obedience, manners, common sense, or instilled disaplin (spelling) i would pay their bills and not get money back, when it was a loan not a gift, one case she would try n save money in a very backwards system of not paying the whole electric, gas, water or garbage bill that month. n the next month the whole thing was due. another was she moved her mother in with us and the mother was very verbally abusive, physically and had alshiemers.

 

so ive been moved out of the parents house on two seperate occasions. once when i was 19-21 and 21-23. ive been back for a lil why under the parents roof. when i say parents i meen my mother at this point in time.

 

so now im with another older woman, whom me and her have had some communication issues but are working on those as you would have to in any relationship. she understands my goals, she is goal orientated, (something none of my xs really were) overall we got along great, we go shopping together, spend alot of time together, overall she meets my goals and desires for a woman. shes even starting to read my moods enough to know when something is bugging me rather than me holding it in. which im working on not holding in the feelings and issues i have.

 

so i was discussing some small issues for a visual from the other side of the fence and now ive noticed in the last 2 months or so since i discussed these issues she has had a change towards me (my mother) and has basically told me that im a worthless son and that she can careless what i do so on and so forth.

 

keep in mind ive done alot for my mom helping her remodel her home, payed rent 350 every month even though im never at her place more than 4-7 hrs a day (thats sleeping time by the way)

 

im pretty sure my family is ****ed up. my mother is now a single parent has been since the divorce even thought i raised my self practically. my two siblings have latched on to my mother n seem immature cause she allows them to lag. ive had a job since 5 days after i graduated and already had put myself thru school for a certified educated, state tested job at night time so i could be ok finacially. ive had a job ever since and have done well besides some bills i accumulated from one of my x's from helping her by purchasing furniture for her.

 

so is my family ****ed up, im truley considering moving out again, even thought i know my mother needs to financial assistance. im pretty well fed up with the whole situation and have basically wanted to tell my mom where she can take her rent month this next month and move out..