1HeartBreak Posted August 18, 2002 Share Posted August 18, 2002 Well.. I've been friends with this guy for over 4 years, and I've gone out with him 2 times.. He was my best friend.. and I thought nothing could ever change that.. Well, he asked me out about a month ago.. I was in heaven!! I've loved this guy since i first met him,... Well, we broke up today.. I was "too demanding".. I was so crushed.. .. and well, he wants to stay friends.. but I don't know what to do.. I feel he stopped loving me even before we went out.. How can I trust him again.. he knew how i felt.. and well.. I guess it didn't matter to him.. What should I do?! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 18, 2002 Share Posted August 18, 2002 You sure do like to read minds, don't you? So just how did you come up with all the information about his feelings and thoughts? What does all this have to do with trust? The guy went out with you and found that isn't what he wanted. He gave it a shot. How would you feel if he hadn't given it a try? Now, I will tell you...two dates in four years is a pretty lame try but you seem to be not very demanding because you characterized the latest events as a "break-up." Just how do you break up with somebody you've only gone out with twice in four years? It sounds like the guy is pretty honest. Things worked out great as a friendship but he seems to have perceived you as "too demanding" in anything more than that. I seriously doubt you were too demanding. It sounds like he is just not ready for a serious relationship. If it took four years to arrive at this point, it's not meant to be...at least not yet. I don't think you can ever be friends with this guy because you have never been honest with him. You wanted more all along and not telling him was a concealment that was uncalled for. If you still have feelings for him, you can't be a real friend to him now. It is cruel to yourself to continue to surround yourself with someone who just wants friendship when you want more! No big damage has been done here. You have learned some lessons, you've learned some things about yourself, and now you need to move on. From now on, when you are with a guy you really like and want more with, let him know instead of spending years and years keeping your mouth shut. You don't have that kind of time in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted August 18, 2002 Share Posted August 18, 2002 ive been in a similar situation what you need is time away from this guy after not talking to him for like half a year, in my case, i found how ridiculous my opinion of him was - you know, when u'r too close to the object, u can't see it properly? whenever he contacts me, he still has that power over me to make me wanna see him & stuff. but it doesn't rlly bother me. i'm very thankful he was honest about his feelings all along, and feel slighlty ashamed for not being honest about mine. oh well! lesson learnt. bottom line is .. my advice is to get the heck away from him! you can tell him straight out that you ask him to not contact you in any way for at least several months. oh! another self-trick i use: i give myself a time frame- i.e. "if i still feel like i really want this guy 2 months from now, i'll talk to him again, and see if it can work out"... and you know what, by the end of those two months, i always said - hell no, i've got other interesting people around me now. best of luck! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 My ex bf STILL calls me. He says he wants to be friends bc of all that we went through and all I did to help him with his career. And now that I've gotten the final insurance settlement from my car accident in November, he's wanting to borrow money. This is the first settlment I've gotten that I am NOT giving him. I can't tell you the thousands of dollars I gave this guy. And it's my fault for wanting to use money to keep him around. He SWEARS he'll pay me back, and it will only be like $200-$300. Ok I'm rambling now.....here's the point I was trying to say. He keeps calling me even when I tell him not to. He's like "You are the only ex I have that won't be friend's with me, blah blah blah, plus you mean more....blah blah blah." At least I can NOT answer his pages, but when he calls me at work, I have to answer....no caller ID. So, at least be thankful that you can probably totally cut him out. And if you can't, then just don't give him the benefit of conversation, and NEVER call him....even when you need your "best friend." I messed up that way... Link to post Share on other sites
bruised_heart Posted August 26, 2002 Share Posted August 26, 2002 my situation is shockingly like yrs. I knew a guy as a mate and then started going out with him. he said he loved me etc and that he wanted to be with me forever, and i felt the same, but recently he's split up with me because he said he's not ready for a serious relationship, so what he'd said must have been lies. And now i still feel for him like never before but he just wants to be mates, but i want more. I just want to talk to u because it'd help me talking to someone in a similar situation. thankyou Link to post Share on other sites
preston Posted July 25, 2003 Share Posted July 25, 2003 well if you were to demanding than y did you loos his trus. you should just talk to him. If you ant to go about it another way me and my x girlfriend really care about eachother but she has a big problem with making things into my problem when I have nothing to do with it. As much as i love her i wate until she realizez what she has done and try to talk to her you should do the same it might not come as fast as you want it to. Link to post Share on other sites
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