ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I was just reading a post from Gunny..in Chads thread.... and it got me thinking... The more I read and learn... about myself, relationships and woman. The more confusing you darling creatures become to me.. How can we men be as confusing as the ladies... we are so basic in our own complicated way.. This does not have to be a heavy thread... maybe some light hearted banter and debate... The floor is open... Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 My single neighbor lady told me we are Gods entertainment, he gave us each other then watches us try to get along!!! I thought us men were pretty easy to figure out, give us sex, beer (and I don't even need the beer I don't drink) and let us go work on our toys in the garage and we are happy. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 My single neighbor lady told me we are Gods entertainment, he gave us each other then watches us try to get along!!! I thought us men were pretty easy to figure out, give us sex, beer (and I don't even need the beer I don't drink) and let us go work on our toys in the garage and we are happy. :lmao: Yup...my point in a nutshell... You see... i get this because I am a MAN;) .. but do ladies get it...realy get it... Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Its not really all that complicated ~ it really is a matter of obtaining the proper perspective ~ which is hard for a lot of men to do, being as they've never been women. But a lot of it has to do with common sense "survival" techniques developed over thousands of years by a group of people (women) who for the most part have been treated as second class. There's the way things are, and there's the way things are suppose to be. Its socially and culturally assumed that women are naturally faithfull, and that men are "dogs" There's very much a double standard at play. A mam goes out and has sex with a hundred women ~ he's a stud. A woman goes out and has sex with a hunderd men ~ she's a slut. The man gains value ~ the woman loses value. Good girls, women, mothers, wifes aren't suppose to like sex ~ when the truth of the matter is? Women desire sex and love sex just as much as men ~ problem is that so many men are really bad at it! Most men's idea of sex is "Wham, Bam! Thank you Ma'am!" From a lot of women's perspective, its almost as if the men are using their vaigna's to masturbate with. Who wants to be treated and used as a piece of meat? Typical marriage ~ is that the women gets up works a full time job, and comes home to work another full time job. If she's a SAHM, that's the equvalient of working two full time jobs. The distribution of labor either way is un-equitable. The bulk of housework and child care still falls upon women. If a married woman's house of children are up to speed, its the woman that gets blamed and talked about ~ not the man. Once a woman starts having children, her body is genetically pre-disposed to store on fat. Yet, cultrually and socailly she's suppose to look the same as she was when she was before she begin having children. On top of that, your typical man hits his sexaul peak at 18, while your typical woman doesn't hit their sexual peak until thier late twenties ~ early thirties. If your typical man had to deal with what your typical woman had to deal with in your typical marriage ~ they'd be more than PO! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 If your typical man had to deal with what your typical woman had to deal with in your typical marriage ~ they'd be more than PO! :lmao: ... yeah Gunns... good point! Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 My single neighbor lady told me we are Gods entertainment, he gave us each other then watches us try to get along!!! THIS SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT I thought us men were pretty easy to figure out, give us sex, beer (and I don't even need the beer I don't drink) and let us go work on our toys in the garage and we are happy. :lmao: Oh if you creatures where that simple! Then again you'd be pretty boring and unfulfilling for a woman! I guess when I think about it that way, I'm happy that you all are MUCH more complex! My happiest times were when I conciously stopped trying to figure you men out. That's a big problem with us women here, WE ARE CONSTANTLY TRYING TO PICK YOUR BRAINS! If you men would COMMUNICATE, that would make things a hell of a lot easier. BTW, I don't need to explain what a conversation is do I? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 BTW, I don't need to explain what a conversation is do I? Well about a year ago... I would have said yes... Communication is not talking at.... and not listening.. it is the (SHARING) of information.. ...see I'm 'a' learnen.. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I am a gal - and I personally prefer my interactions with men over women... Men are easy - they say what they mean, love sports (generally), want to eat, sleep and have great sex. Women tend to play games with their words and actions, feel threatened by the slightest hiccup, and make big emotional deals out of nothing. They read into things too much and second guess themselves alot more than men. Generalizations I know... just my personal experience... Thank God for my one TRUE best girlfriend... she is none of the things listed under the woman category... I have many men that are my friends... they are easier to deal with than gals... Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Well about a year ago... I would have said yes... Communication is not talking at.... and not listening.. it is the (SHARING) of information.. ...see I'm 'a' learnen.. You make Mama proud! Now go splain that to my thickheaded SO please?! Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I am a gal - and I personally prefer my interactions with men over women... Men are easy - they say what they mean, love sports (generally), want to eat, sleep and have great sex. Women tend to play games with their words and actions, feel threatened by the slightest hiccup, and make big emotional deals out of nothing. They read into things too much and second guess themselves alot more than men. Generalizations I know... just my personal experience... Thank God for my one TRUE best girlfriend... she is none of the things listed under the woman category... I have many men that are my friends... they are easier to deal with than gals... I agree with this 2sunny, eventhough I (most times) AM this woman that you described (only toward the SO). I have ALL male friends and they say that I have more testosterone then alot of women (I still don't think that's complimentary). I find them easier to get along with than women because, I also have enough estrogen running through me for 5 women. They're easier for me to deal with because I don't deal with them romantically or emotionally, when it comes that, it's a whole nother story! Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I agree with this 2sunny, eventhough I (most times) AM this woman that you described (only toward the SO). I have ALL male friends and they say that I have more testosterone then alot of women (I still don't think that's complimentary). I find them easier to get along with than women because, I also have enough estrogen running through me for 5 women. They're easier for me to deal with because I don't deal with them romantically or emotionally, when it comes that, it's a whole nother story! when dealing with the men you date... just remove the emotional side that you may view things from and viola! it is perfectly clear and very simple - ie - a mans perspective... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 I have ALL male friends and they say that I have more testosterone then alot of women (I still don't think that's complimentary :lmao: ...now that was funny Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Men are easy - they say what they mean, love sports (generally), want to eat, sleep and have great sex. Women tend to play games with their words and actions, feel threatened by the slightest hiccup, and make big emotional deals out of nothing. They read into things too much and second guess themselves alot more than men. Generalizations I know... just my personal experience... Mine too. In actuality, ALL of my best friends with the exception of my husband are women. For friendship's sake, I don't mind dealing with the emotional intricacies of other females. I'll go the extra mile. But on a day-to-day basis... I just HATE working with other women on the job. Every little nuance is analyzed and personalized. The atmosphere becomes catty and petty, every action or non-action is absorbed in a personal way. And the more egocentric our society becomes... the worse it gets. I know that sounds awful. But it's exhausting to have to worry about getting your job done, all the while having to constantly feed the self-esteem of your co-workers. If I had a nickel for everytime I wished they'd just shut their traps and get back to work.... I wouldn't need to work at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 when dealing with the men you date... just remove the emotional side that you may view things from and viola! it is perfectly clear and very simple - ie - a mans perspective... This would be easy if I didn't have to play the guessing game. I've been mistaken for a mind reader and that's exhausting. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 This would be easy if I didn't have to play the guessing game. I've been mistaken for a mind reader and that's exhausting. don't guess honey! you are thinking about it too much... men don't think about things as much as women - and it makes for a much simpler approach to everything... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 don't guess honey! you are thinking about it too much... men don't think about things as much as women - and it makes for a much simpler approach to everything... I'll disagree here.. When some men actually care about something... thinking and overthinking.. can be the order of the day... ... but we must all learn to have balance... We are not all cavemen..... Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I'll disagree here.. When some men actually care about something... thinking and overthinking.. can be the order of the day... ... but we must all learn to have balance... We are not all cavemen..... I also agree with you, but I think we keep our feelings and thoughts inside us more then we should. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I also agree with you, but I think we keep our feelings and thoughts inside us more then we should. Yes! And it drives me crazy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 I also agree with you, but I think we keep our feelings and thoughts inside us more then we should. True PW... but have we not as males been conditioned all our lives not to show emotions... or you were considered a "nancy boy"... I for one realy screwed myself up... I joined the Army at 16 yrs old... and that place was a shark pit... one sign of weakness... and you were eaten alive... and being a "nancy boy" followed some fellas around for years.. Luckly I was able to supress that human side of me... but... it buggered me up years later... when it counted... (oh well atleast I got to travel allot.,, and shoot realy big guns).. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 True PW... but have we not as males been conditioned all our lives not to show emotions... or you were considered a "nancy boy"... OH YOU JUST SLAMMED THE NAIL! My SO is one of those very alpha males, and I guess he thinks that showing too much emotion is being a "sissy". I try and relive the yester years through conversation and he tells me that I'm starting my "mushy" crap . It's so strange because I really am not that emotional of a woman. He's bringing out that side of me because I'm pulling teeth most of the time. Alls I'm trying to do is keep the communication alive because we all know that without that, the relationship dies! (this is a perfect example of me being a dramatic, emotional woman eh? I probably really should omit that last sentence:p ) (oh well atleast I got to travel allot.,, and shoot realy big guns).. :lmao: What would a boy be without ever letting off a gun!? Link to post Share on other sites
chadnickole Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I don't need to explain what a conversation is do I? :rolleyes: No you do not, but Men do not pick up on womens sublty yet they keep doing it and doing it exspecting Us (men) to pick it up! Probally not gonna happen for most men, then the woman gets angry and says we never listen, Oh we Listen we just don't know what the hell your saying;) Speak to us in Man langage BOLD AND POINT BLANK, DONT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH!!! This go's for men too talk to your spouse about what is on your mind, Because they CANNOT READ IT!!! Insanity doing the same thing over and over exspecting a differnt result!!!!! PEOPLE WE CANNOT AS A RACE READ OTHERS MINDS!!! We can hardly get our own thought strait half the time:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 I found this on line and I feel it fits this discussion pretty well. Let's say a guy named David is attracted to a woman named Dawn. He askes her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he askes her out to dinner, and again they enjoy each others company. They continue to see each other regulary, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Dawn, and without really thinking, she says it out loud; "Do you realize that as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exaclty six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Dawn, it seems like a very loud silence. Dawn thinks to herself: God, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isnt' sure of. And David is thinking: Gosh, six months. And Dawn is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward....I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And David is thinking:...So that means it was...let's see....February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means....lemme check the milometer....Christ! I'm way overdue for an oil change here. And Dawn is thinking;He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitmentl maybe he has scensed---even before I sensed it--that I was feeling some reservations. Yes I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And David is thinking:And I'm gonna have them look at the gear box again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a dumper truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.00 And Dawn is thinking:He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him throught this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And David is thinking:They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they'll say, the scumballs... And Dawn is thinking:Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy....continued after this message!!!! And David in thinking:Warranty" They want a warranty? I'll give them a warrenty. I'll take their warranty and stick it.... "David," Dawn says aloud. "What? say David, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this, "she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have said....Oh God, I feel so..? (She breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says David. "I'm such a fool." Dawn sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's sill. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says David. "you think I'm a fool, don't you? Dawn says. "No? says David. He's glad to finally know the corrct answer. "It's just that....It's that I...I need some time, Dawn says. (There is a 15-second pause while David, thinking oas fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) "Yes," he says. (Dawn, deelpy moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, David, do you really feel that way?" She says. "What way?" says David. "That way about time," says Dawn. "Oh," says David,. "yes". (Dawn turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if involves a horse. At last she speaks.) "Thank you, David," she says. "Thank you," says David Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when David gets back to his place, he opens a bag of chips and a beer, turns on the TV, and immediatley become's deeply involved in a retun of a tennis match. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something pretty serious was going on back there in the car, but he is also pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he reckons it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also David's policy regarding world hunger.) The next day Dawn will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In pain staking detail, they will analyse everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every work, experseeion, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never readcing any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, David, one day, while playing squash with a mutual friend of his and Dawn's will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Bill, did Dawn ever own a horse?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilmw Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 :rolleyes: No you do not, but Men do not pick up on womens sublty yet they keep doing it and doing it exspecting Us (men) to pick it up! Probally not gonna happen for most men, then the woman gets angry and says we never listen, Oh we Listen we just don't know what the hell your saying;) Speak to us in Man langage BOLD AND POINT BLANK, DONT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH!!! This go's for men too talk to your spouse about what is on your mind, Because they CANNOT READ IT!!! Insanity doing the same thing over and over exspecting a differnt result!!!!! PEOPLE WE CANNOT AS A RACE READ OTHERS MINDS!!! We can hardly get our own thought strait half the time:laugh: ...good one Chad. Does it not seem that when we are born.. men..are given one script and woman..are given another script....and they are for different plays... No wonder we don't know what the other one is talking about... .. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 THAT WAS PRICELESS PWS! But it proves my point that COMMUNICATION IS KEY! This is how that would go for me and so... And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Dawn, and without really thinking, she says it out loud; "Do you realize that as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exaclty six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To BUTTAFLYY, it seems like a very loud silence. Buttaflyy: Why'd you get so quiet? SO: No reason. Buttaflyy: It seems like there was a pregnant silence after I said that. Does what I said bother you? SO:What are you talking about? (all the while thinking that Buttaflyy talks too much.) (I'm taking into consideration that the conversation is the first one about entering a relationship and a relationship doesn't exist yet. Words were much sweeter then:D ) Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 OH YOU JUST SLAMMED THE NAIL! My SO is one of those very alpha males, and I guess he thinks that showing too much emotion is being a "sissy". I try and relive the yester years through conversation and he tells me that I'm starting my "mushy" crap . It's so strange because I really am not that emotional of a woman. He's bringing out that side of me because I'm pulling teeth most of the time. Alls I'm trying to do is keep the communication alive because we all know that without that, the relationship dies! (this is a perfect example of me being a dramatic, emotional woman eh? I probably really should omit that last sentence:p ) Can I suggest something. Ask your husband if he would take you to a dinner theater. Maybe for a date buy tickets and invite him. I always thought those things were for sissy's until our counsoler said I needed to do things that the W liked to do and she had gone to them in the past. I was really lucky that there was one showing called; I love you, your perfect, now change. It was a comedy and I laughed my A$$ off and now I'm o.k. with going to them, but the important thing is it has opened my eyes to other things that I thought were for girls, but you would be surprised at how many men go to them. The other thing I have learned is no matter what you do, everyone else is there for the same reason to have fun so they aren't looking at you as a sissy. I do have to admit the W and her friend took me and my friend to the Vigina monilog and that was NOT my cup of tea, but we went!!!! All the woman would be laughing and me and my buddy were setting there going WTF, we don't get it so be carefull of what shows you do take him to. Like I told someone I'm getting better at showing my fem-a-man side. Link to post Share on other sites
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