flyerboy Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 I love my wife more than anything and have told her that many times but she won't listen anymore. We have 2 daughters 11 and 15 who are devastated by her statment to want to end it. I really haven't had a real explanation on why other than she says she has fallen out of love.We now are living in the same house but i'm downstairs and she is up stairs.She is 38 and i'm 37 we've been married for 17 years and i don't want to lose her.We've had arguments over the years and of course many nasty things are said but we always made up.She says she just wants to be alone and independant but i believe it can be saved and i'm so heartbroken over this.Her sister tells me she always says good things about me to her but when i try to talk to her she's so cold.I'm very emotional and been crying for days and it just pisses her off even more but i can't control the tears. Please help if you can! Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 I don't know how long you have been looking around LS, but my best advice is you need to start reading some of the other situations people are in. The more you read the more you will start understanding what "YOU" can do and what "YOU" shouldn't do. The first little advice I can give you is "DON'T PUSH HER"!!! I am learning this myself, the more you chase the faster she runs. You said it yourself, you cry and it's pissing her off, so the first thing you need to do is get control over your feelings. Sure I can say it now because I went thru it, yes it is very hard but it can be done. Also remember this is something that will take time so don't plan on fixing it in the next couple months. That is also something I thought, give her a month and things would be all better but it doesn't happen like that. Start looking at "yourself" and see what you did in the marraige that could have been better, then start looking at yourself and see what you can do to make "yourself" a better person. There is nothing you can do about her feelings and what she is going to do and this is hard to swallow for some. (was for ME) but once you start looking inside yourself things do start looking better and the sun does come back out. Good luck and like I said keep reading.... Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 The last poster was right, you need to not let her see you being weak. When she starts seeing you crying and begging, she sees it as you putting guilt on her and she will rebel even more. The are many posts on here with what to do in this situation, I would strongly advise you research your options before you make the same mistake many do. If at all possible, try not to show you're all broken up about it, and agree that you both should end it. This will make her at least think a little harder about her decisions. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author flyerboy Posted January 7, 2007 Author Share Posted January 7, 2007 Thanks guys i really appreciate the advice and i will try this and hopefully something good comes out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 Is she willing to go to marriage counselling? Or maybe she needs to go talk to someone one on one? Something is going on inside her head, whether it be a midlife crisis, or wanting to be alone independant with NO man in her life...I hate to bring it up, but I hope she hasn't met someone else? Sorry I don't mean to upset you more. You love her so do what you can to convince her to stay. She is the mother of your kids, so hopefully she'll come around and see that her leaving may not be the best idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 First off your crying, whinning, begging, being needy, and being desperate in her eyes ~ IN HER eyes = PATHETIC! Forget BS marriage couseling! You want your marriage? You want your wife? Man up and drop the "bomb" on her! File for divorce! Kick her azz to the curb, and don't look back. Don't be nice, don't be an *******! But, be ruthless in pursuing what is in your best interest of you and your children. Shoot for the moon, but willing to settle for a low orbit. Man the **** up! You were doing fine before you meet and married her ~ you'll will do fine after she's gone! There's no shortage of good women, there is shortage of good men, that have a clue! Take charge of your life! Take charge of your "balls" Man-up! Link to post Share on other sites
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