fastmofo Posted August 20, 2002 Share Posted August 20, 2002 about 3 months ago i started dating bridgette. we only dated for about 2 or 3 weeks and i had to leave town for a month so we started seeing other people. the time that i spent with her was the best time of my life, she is definately someone i could spend the rest of my life with. this past weekend i went to a party and heard that bridgette has cancer. this devistated me. i dont know if shes still seeing someone else or what but i would really like to get together with her again. heres my problem, i dont know if i was supposed to find out about herr having cancer so how can i tell her that i know without getting her mad. i just want her to know that ill be there for her even if she doesnt want a relationship. and advice would be great thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 20, 2002 Share Posted August 20, 2002 First of all, just because a person has cancer doesn't mean they're dying and it doesn't mean they're some kind of nasty. If she doesn't know that by now, she's got real problems. Seek her out and ask her out again. Get things going just like you had before. If after three or four weeks she doesn't tell you of her illness, then you know she is a poor communicator and a bad potential partner or just a very private person and you don't mean enough to her to tell....you can't lose. Yes, having cancer is a personal thing and it's not something she's obligated to tell you, just like she doesn't have to tell you if she's got a yeast infection or if she's on her period. But if she cares about you at all, this is something she would want to share with you. Now, some people are just very private and you have to respect that. If she's not terminal, she can get through this without ever telling you a word. But wait a period of time and, if she doesn't say anything, bring it up to her...tell her you heard it from someone else...and you knew it wasn't true because she hadn't told you. See what her reaction is. Then go from there. If she gets pissed because you brought it up, she's not worth your time....and you can tell her I said so. Just because you dated somebody for three months doesn't mean they're great and doesn't mean they're the right person for you. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted August 20, 2002 Share Posted August 20, 2002 On a level I feel people should come together when having to go through something frighting. She should reach out and appreciate the people dear in her life. You sound wonderful to offer your friendship. On another level I personally wouldn't want anyone to know. I would do my best to keep secret as long as possible. There is no sense in stirring everyone else up. If it were terminal, than perhaps like myself only close friends and family would know. At that point I would, like an animal, wonder away and dye alone. So there is no telling how she will react when you come in contact with her. She could be open or closed. I agree with Tony that if she doesn't mention anything while the r/s moves along smoothly than ask her lightly. However, if you feel her rejecting you than it would be best to check up on her through her friends perhaps. Link to post Share on other sites
Matt Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 Mate, the best bet.. Is just to be upfront and tell her straight. It is better to be upfront then hiding what you know, wow big deal, she might get a little pissed off, but its worth it, coz then you will know where you stand goodluck! Link to post Share on other sites
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