Problem- Losing my touch???? Please HELP

[Julia]

Hi, I'm having a bit of a problem here. see, i went to an all girls high school, but i would still see some guys outside of school and it was always pretty easy, for the most part, for me to talk/flirt with them. but recently, i went to this party and there was this really cute guy there and i was really nervous about talking to him, but he finally came up to me and we began chatting about college a little, but i kept getting nervous and it was like i couldn't think of anything to really say, so i just kept asking these dumb questions and just making some comments, hoping that he would take the comment and turn it into a conversation. and then in the middle of our conversation. i mean, our conversation wasn't soooo horrible, it just wasn't all that great, usually when i talk to a guy we end up joking a lot and i never even think about what to say next, it just comes naturally. so, what do you guys think happened. is it me? have i totally lost my touch? or maybe it's just this guy in specific? i'm really paranoid about this situation because i've noticed recently that it's hard for me to have good conversations and make friends with other girls, but i've always had a much easier time with guys. so, i'm wondering, am i losing my touch with guys too? i'd really apreciate some answers, thanks. :-)

[yes]

when u like a guy, it's soo much harder, cuz u'r tense

when u dont care, the conversation flows, because u'r relaxed

 

i think it's mostly a matter of practice, and of breathing deep =)

 

-yes

[Julia]

thanks yes,

what you said makes sense, and i really hope you're right. but it's just that in the past i was able to easily talk to guys that i liked. i would just imagine that they were someone else - someone that i already knew and could easily carry a conversation with. but this time, that didn't happen, and what i ended up with was a dry conversation, much like the conversations i have with other girls when i'm trying to make friends. you know, one of those conversations where you ask each other some questions in the hopes of a getting an interesting response. except, in this case there were no interesting responses.

thanks again for the response, i appreciate it. :-)

[yes]

i sometimes have these dry conversations too. i think it depends on so many factors - you might've been tired, the guy might've been indeed boring (cmon, you cant have a fun conversation w/ a dull person), you might've liked him more than other guys... etc! don't worry about it. **** happens =)

 

btw, i can really relate to being able to connect w/ guys more easily than with gals! same here! nothing bad about it at all... guys make great friends, confidants, etc, as well as lovers.

 

 

good luck,

yes

[velvet]

Your were being very self conscious. I do that at times myself. Most of the time I'm uptight and tense. I was brought into the world tense, I wake up the same way. I don't know when I have ever been fully relaxed other than sleeping.

 

I think its because I'm afraid of how I'll be judged. That could be what was bothering you. I have several friends whom I enjoy going out on the town with to party and have fun. Only certain ones I'm more comfortable with some particular friends enough to let my conversations flow without a thought to it. It comes natural. Than with others whom are more like acquaintances rather a friend I'm more closed up and even to the point of making them feel uncomfortable.

 

I hope you have kept in touch with this hot guy you met. Next time something like this should happen just think about how many friends enjoy your company and remember thats its ok to talk.