SummerLove Posted August 21, 2002 Share Posted August 21, 2002 Hi Everyone! I really need everyone's opinion on this matter. I am seeing this wonderful guy that is seriously, my 'dream man' for 4 months now. I have been hurt in past relationships (i know, NOT an excuse) but I did something EXTREMLY decietful & hurtful that he found out about. (I don't really want to go into details, but it was a 'test' of his loyalty, basically) We had a very long & deep conversation about this last night (he just found out yesterday) & he basically asked if I wanted to 'forget' it & of course I said yes. He said & I quote "It's cool, everyone makes mistakes" Now after our talk we were up for about 45 min before we fell asleep & he acted 'normal' & showed the same amount of affection that he usually does. This morning, I left for work while he was still in bed & everything was normal..... I guess my question is, if this has happened to any of you, what was the outcome? I am truly sorry that I was stupid enough to even THINK of something like that, let alone, actually do it...... I'm worried that he has lost trust in me & this is the beginning of the end of our relationship...... Any suggestions on how to 'make it better?' What can I do? HELP Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted August 21, 2002 Share Posted August 21, 2002 Well since we don't know what you did, it is hard to tell you information that is at all specific. Over a month ago, I was dating a girl for 2 months (at that time). She lied to me about who she was, how old she was, and actions that happened. I had never thought that this would of happened. I forgave her, but was broken up from her by her parents. She asked me to wait for her, after telling me the truth about everything. All of her friends, they all do not know her. Not one of them knows her at all. I know her now. I know what her intentions were. We have planned to get back together in person in about 20 months, as we CANNOT now because of her parents. Yes, I do love this girl. I am the only one who truly knows her. You really have nothing to worry about if he is what you say he is. Just let him know the truth from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerLove Posted August 21, 2002 Share Posted August 21, 2002 Ok maybe this will help with your opinions/advice/suggestions/ect. I 'pretended' to be someone else to find out how he REALLY felt about me. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 if he said forget it, forget it. dont do anything to make it better. just never mention it again; and think before u act next time! best of luck yes Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 How do you pretend to be someone else? Did you pretend that you weren't interested. Pretend to be in love? Pretend to be rich or poor? I'm asking because even though we never know if the person is pretending to be someone or something their not, could someone be doing the exact thing to me? Obviously the truth came out and he said forget about it. He could be so nonchalant about it because either things are not a serious level for him to respond or it could be that he doesn't want to talk about it. Could be a number of things. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 That is what my girlfriend did at the time. She pretended to be someone she was not. She acts completely different than she did when she was her "other self". She did it because she thought that I would like that other personality. Well... that's not how it turned out... I liked her no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 that doesnt make sense if the person has a diff-t personality, its not the same person anymore! so it sounds more like u didnt care about her personality, and u'd like anybody with her body and face... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Kel Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 I don't see how Bill's "advice" is at all helpful. His situation seems irrelevant to me, actually most of his posts seem immature, he is quite young and deals with silly, superficial relationships he doesn't even have total control of (hence, "her parents" broke them up). It seems ridiculous to me that he would still be keen on someone who was so idiotically deceitful. Anyway it sounds like this is a 'forgiven, not forgotten' type scenario. Obviously he has accepted your apology and wants to move on, but this will always be in the back of his mind and it could be a case of 'two strikes and you're out'. I had a girl who intentionally flirted with a friend of mine as a 'test' and although I said at the time it was ok and I forgave her because I knew she did not mean to hurt me or our relationship, I never fully regained trust in her and I believe that, a year later, that is really what broke us up. So don't push the issue, let it lie, and just work on letting him know that he is the most important thing in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
perfect? Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 i have to agree with kel. i would get a little jittery about being in a situation like that too. but, i always try and remember that sometimes little things to you are big to him and vice versa. i hope no one else sees this as being insensitive, but, sometimes you just like someone so much that you'll go to whatever length to find out if they feel the same. and it's not necessarily right, and some folks would say that maybe you dont really respect that person if you would do something so "sneaky", but i guess we all do crazy things for love. and if the guy is gonna keep a list, do you really want him? (i know, i know, that sounds idealistic, but, ...) so, maybe just tell him thanks, for being so cool. and be just as cool for him, because, everybody causes a little trouble now and then. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted August 22, 2002 Share Posted August 22, 2002 I don't see how Bill's "advice" is at all helpful. His situation seems irrelevant to me, actually most of his posts seem immature, he is quite young and deals with silly, superficial relationships he doesn't even have total control of (hence, "her parents" broke them up). It seems ridiculous to me that he would still be keen on someone who was so idiotically deceitful. "Kel" (the guest at this site) it is people like you that I hate in this world. If you don't like my posts, ignore them. I didn't offer advice for you... so go away. I am quite young? You don't even know my real age. First you personally attack me, then you personally attack my s.o. . There's a word for people like you, but I can't use it here on the forum. You obviously have serious problems to be attacking a forum member for no reason. They do have professionals that can help you. Link to post Share on other sites
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