Girlfriend let me down... =(

[Toke]

Hi there. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for over two years now. Recently, she went away to OSU, and it's been about 2 months since the day she left. We thought we had such a strong relationship before she had to go. And things got harder. So this past weekend we decided that we needed to talk, so I went up to Columbus after work and picked her up. When I got there, she was pretty wasted. First off, that was my main bitch... she was always wasted when I talked to her. Sometimes she couldn't even talk, and one night she passed out on the phone with me. But anyways, when I went up, she convinced me to stay because I was tired. Well after being there for about an hour, she passed out on the bed. Knowing that I had missed alot while she was gone I figured I'd look at some of her pictures. Not invading her privacy or anything, just pictures lying around of her friends. But I found one with a note on her door saying something that broke my heart and wanting to know the story behind it. Rather than speaking up while she was passed out, we came home and she asked me what was wrong and I told her what I'd found. Her excuse was 'I don't know for sure but my friends say I did mess around with someone else that night'. That hurt unlike any pain I've ever felt to hear her say that. The one thing I'd ever asked of her was to break up with me if she had the urge to be with someone else. And after two years of her being faithful, it's ruined by two months of college and distance. She keeps telling me how sorry she is and that she can't ever expect me to forgive her. And I don't want things to be this way but what can I do? How can I ever go back up there knowing that someone in her dorm could be the guy she messed around with? How can I forgive her, and can things be fixed? I asked her why she did it. You know what she told me? "I was drunk and I was mad at you and I recieved a compliment on how thin I looked".??? This girl was never this type of person and now things are just going to hell. Is there any point in continuing, could things ever work, and should I be wrong to feel the hurt I now feel for what she did to me? Am I expected to just forgive? Any advice would help me entirely.

[Lianne]

Aparently she has a drinking problem if she drinks to that point regularly. I think that if you seriously want to be with her then you can try to work trough this with her, try to rebuild your trust and see if you can move forward from there in addition to addressing her problems and helping her through them ONLY if it is something she's willing to devote herself to this.

 

If you feel this is an unforgivable act, there's no way in hell that you will feel the same about her, leave her. Don't stay because that would just make you resentful toward her and possibly cause you to be more likely to be unfaithful to her.

[RRRR]

I can tell you now, from having been through exactly the same scenario, that things will never be as they were. That element of doubt over her future trustworthiness will continue to hound you, whether you feel you can forgive her or not. Now, you can work through this, but the elements of distance and separation, and the fact that she will continue to be in a situation where she is exposed to an environment that has an extensive social aspect will only add to your problems, and to get through this is going to take a huge amount of belief and trust on your behalf. You need to ask yourself whether you can ever have that kind of trust for her? I would suggest that her motives for doing this in the first place would suggest not. I don't wish to sound harsh, but in the situation i was in, we tried to work it out but i never had that level of trust again, and the relationship just degenerated into a farce, with my "companion" eventually doing the same thing again a year down the road. You should have heard the excuses and reasons then.....

 

Aparently she has a drinking problem if she drinks to that point regularly. I think that if you seriously want to be with her then you can try to work trough this with her, try to rebuild your trust and see if you can move forward from there in addition to addressing her problems and helping her through them ONLY if it is something she's willing to devote herself to this. If you feel this is an unforgivable act, there's no way in hell that you will feel the same about her, leave her. Don't stay because that would just make you resentful toward her and possibly cause you to be more likely to be unfaithful to her.

[shelly]

sorry but i've to been there and no you should not forgive her for she has done this to herself and you need to gave yourself time to see what she did to you so take same time to see some one new because if she loved you she whouldn't have done what she did

 

email me and i'll help you

 

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