Messed_Up Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 This is quite a long story but please read it and help me understand why he done this and what i should do now. Basically i was with this guy for 11 months, although i was never with him as he didnt want to commit and said he only saw me as friend...he slept with me for 11 months. He then rung me one day and told me he had a gf, 2 of his mates then started texting me telling me they like me...about 3 weeks later he came round and told me he shouldnt be with her coz he misses me but he dont know what he wants. He said when he was with me he wanted her and now hes with her he wants me. Anyway, yesterday we met up and we ended up sleeping with each other...when i told him i couldnt coz it wasnt fair he said please your so much better than her and i miss it from you. Now im just confused why he done it, and what to do now. I feel bad for giving in but I love him so much. HELP ME PLEASE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Vickx69 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Dear Messed_Up... You cannot love a man like that. I'm as a man can tell you. There's no better thing for a man that having 2 or 3 or more women to sleep with whenever he wants. What you could do is tell him to decide once and for all who he wants to be with and be serious. Anyway, even if he chooses you, I don't think you'll be happy in the future with someone like him. I know you "think" you love him, or maybe you really do, but as I told you, a man will always try to be with other girls, if you an accept that, that's your choice. There are men who can say "no" to other girls but as it sounds, your boyfriend is not one of them. Take care honey.. Vick:p Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Just about any man would LOVE to have his cake and eat it too. If you allow him to do it, he'll just keep on doing it. Be strong and REJECT him next time unless he's willing to commit to a relationship with you AND you can trust him (although that doesn't look like an easy feat) Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Well... he did it because he wanted to hump. You already know this guy does not respect you nor does he want to be with you, you also know that he is cheating scum. Erase his number from your phone along with those of his friends, you dont need them either. Find a guy that treats you better. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Well... he did it because he wanted to hump. You already know this guy does not respect you nor does he want to be with you, you also know that he is cheating scum. Erase his number from your phone along with those of his friends, you dont need them either. Find a guy that treats you better. I second this. He doesn't have any respect for you (you haven't treated yourself very respectfully by allowing him to treat you the way he has). He has obviously shared information in a negative fashion to his friends (who then messaged you with hope of getting some commitmentless sex from you as well). He is a scoundrel. A liar. A cheat. A dog. A player. He has taken advantage of you. Find someone who will look at you as something special and start treating yourself as if you are something special as well. Your post screams of low self-esteem and I hope you work on that. You are worth being treated better but you must believe that. We teach people how you will be treated. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Ouch.. I've had that done to me in the past. Some guys are just messed up in the head. It isn't you, you're not flawed or some how less. I know it can make you feel like that, like you're not as good or something, but it's not true. So don't think that. This is a hard situation because you want to believe that he really wants you, that he's telling you the truth. Even if at the moment he tells you these things he really feels it, those feelings don't last for him. Not like they do for you. He's looking for the most pleasure he can gain with the least amount of work or drama. He's avoiding anything that might be difficult and living for the instant gratification he can get. There isn't any substance in your relationship. It'll crumble the moment he encounters discomfort. His world is centered around him and it's designed so he'll always have a place to go to escape from hardship. Don't fool yourself that he'll change. He's telling his friends that you're a good lay, that you're easy. That's why they're calling you. It isn't because he's going back and telling them how intelligent you are, or describing your wonderful personality. He isn't telling his friends that he has really found someone special and he's falling for you. His friends wouldn't be calling you if he was saying those things. At most, one bad friend might call, but not several of his friends. They'd respect him enough not to tread on what makes him happy. But they're calling you, which means this guy who you think is so special is going back to his buddies and telling them that you're easy to get in bed. Maybe I'm wrong about this guy... but he's been going along with the flow for the past 11 months. He isn't going to want to change what he has. But I really think that the only outcome for this is you getting hurt even more. Even if you give him an ultimatum and he says he chooses you.. how will you know that he hasn't gotten a new girl on the side a month later? You'll become the "GF" and a new girl will take on your role. Would you ever be able to trust that he's being faithful and honest with you? Link to post Share on other sites
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