How often do you get together with MM/MO?

[Shoestring]

I was just wondering how often OW/OM get together with the MM/MW? For the record, my MM and I see each other nearly every day except for the weekends - for at least 1 hour (in which time we achieve a lot ). We also sms and make phone contact every day. Works well for us!!

[Guest]

Lucky you.

My exMM used to see each other sporadically depending on his requirements.

Eg. he would see me 2 or 3 times in the week before I was going on holiday and had an urgent need to see me when I got back--can't think why!!!

 

BUT as he is took early retirement and W works he is free during the day so I used to take a day off work and then he would see me from about 10.30 to 4.0pm so he could be home before she got back from work. Very nice for him with minimum disruption to marriage. I only got a phone call once a week on average.

 

Then he started messing about big time and when he phoned at the end he would say "I might call you tomorrow you never know". There was no reaction from me and he never called until about a week later to arrange for me to be available for him to come to my house. Sometimes he would phone and say he would pop round to see me "because we didn't have to do anything" and I would say "that would be nice" but he never phoned. So I guess he was playing mind games or trying to p-ss me off so much that I would finish it and his conscience would be clear.

 

Whatever it was I decided that he wasn't that into me and asked for a serious talk, and since then I haven't seen him for dust. He was and is a control freak. He also did not want to take me out and about although it was different at the start of the A

I guess it had burnt itself out after 8 years and we were both just a bad habit limping along.

 

Sorry to rant but one thing that got me was one time when he had done his shopping, he come round to see me and put his shopping in my fridge so that when he went home it would look as if he had just come from the shop,

Quite a guy I had there!!!

I think if 2 people are in love they phone each other every day although weekends may be difficult--there is always time for a call or a text message. I do not buy the "I never had time to call you" excuse.

 

It is also the quality of the time you spend together as musc as the amount.

If once the sex is over they go to sleep or read the newspaper what is the point.

[sunmoon]

mine has 2 kids so i only see him once (maybe twice) a week

[yousaveme]

Everyday during the week for 4 hours or so. Unless the kids are home from school. Then sometimes only for a 1 or 2. And he pops in time to time other times and sometimes during the weekend. We talk everyday unless something comes up. We try and stay in contact as much as possible.

[sadbuttrue]

i only see MM 2-3 times during the week. we talk everyday during the week, but not on the weekends. he does not contact me when he is at home, and i do not contact him after his work hours. it is not as much as i would like, but we both have kids and of course we wouldnt want to make his wife suspicious.

[redlynne]

IT was usually 1X a week mostly because of schedule he wourked nights i & W worked day so if i had a day off or something it might be more.

we talked every morning on his way home from work my way to & @night his way to work .

Middle of day he was home .

And his days off sometimes wouldnt hear from him.

[oyster]

with Ex-MM, we used to see each other after work daily. Spend the weekend together.

 

when her idiot hubby start brainwashing her, she held back, we saw each other 3-4 time a week.

[noforgiveness]

Everyday during the week for 4 hours or so. Unless the kids are home from school. Then sometimes only for a 1 or 2. And he pops in time to time other times and sometimes during the weekend. We talk everyday unless something comes up. We try and stay in contact as much as possible.

 

 

How does he manage everyday for four hours? Is he a government employee and takes four hour lunch breaks and you can arrange your schedule around them?

[bonehead]

Does he leave money by the nightstand too?

 

Sorry NF but that was REALLY rude

[yousaveme]

First he works nights...Second I my work is mostly at home or in the area. Do you need to know our personal details.

 

 

How does he manage everyday for four hours? Is he a government employee and takes four hour lunch breaks and you can arrange your schedule around them?

[yousaveme]

SPEAKS VOLUMES DOESNT IT

 

Sorry NF but that was REALLY rude

[noforgiveness]

Sorry NF but that was REALLY rude

 

ya think?? Oh please she's all thrilled she sees someone for one hour a day? That is such an insult to her and all women. How disrespectful to herself to take such scraps.

[noforgiveness]

SPEAKS VOLUMES DOESNT IT

 

it speaks volumes that you find nothing at all wrong with accepting one hour a day on weekdays.

[bonehead]

I know married people who get MAYBE an hour a day togeather except on weekends.

 

What was rude was the money comment. That was totally uncalled for. She did not deserve to be compared to a hooker and thats EXACTLY what you did.

[noforgiveness]

I know married people who get MAYBE an hour a day togeather except on weekends.

 

What was rude was the money comment. That was totally uncalled for. She did not deserve to be compared to a hooker and thats EXACTLY what you did.

 

 

hmm one hour a day with the innuendo of sex during that time...ok yea that's a nice normal relationship. Oh and let's add in forbidden and a little secret...

[bonehead]

hmm one hour a day with the innuendo of sex during that time...ok yea that's a nice normal relationship. Oh and let's add in forbidden and a little secret...

 

Yes that is sad and troubling, but it still didnt deserve to be compared to a hooker

[yousaveme]

I DONT GET AN HOUR A DAY....WTH are you talking about

 

 

 

it speaks volumes that you find nothing at all wrong with accepting one hour a day on weekdays.

[NoIDidn't]

I know married people who get MAYBE an hour a day togeather except on weekends.

 

What was rude was the money comment. That was totally uncalled for. She did not deserve to be compared to a hooker and thats EXACTLY what you did.

 

Then you know people that are neglecting their relationship for other things, which probably the point that NF is trying to make albeit very in-your-face.

 

BH, I like you, but you are harrassing NF. Everytime she posts you have made yourself the NF police. I don't want to be the police either, but she is entitled to her opinion however she delivers it. And no, I am not her MPD identity.

 

I dated guys in HS (who were much older than I was) that tried to do me like that too. H*ll, I would have liked to get offered money, but I also didn't put out either. So they stopped coming around. One hour a day does not a relationship make. Its long enough to get the MM's needs met, but not long enough for her to have pillowtalk and everything else after all is said and done. This is not directed to whomever the poster was that stated this, just a generalization.

 

Most of the time threads like this are started to calm an OW/OM mind about what's normal, or acceptable. Truth is, most people in regular relationships wouldn't accept this. The married couples that do it, either no longer prioritize their marriage, or they know that they will be coming together at the end of this hectic season.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[yousaveme]

How is BH harassing NF...The thread asked a simple question , and answers were given. NF was the one that came on here. And decided to compare people to hookers.

 

 

I really dont see how that does anyone any good.

[bonehead]

BH, I like you, but you are harrassing NF. Everytime she posts you have made yourself the NF police.

 

I have only on a couple occasions made a reply to NF.

 

And if you have read them then you know i have told her that while I agree with what she is saying IMO she should work on how she words it.

 

She really does have some great points, and as I have told her, she will get them across better if she didnt apply them with a baseball bat.

 

NF and I have even PMed about this subject.

[NoIDidn't]

How is BH harassing NF...The thread asked a simple question , and answers were given. NF was the one that came on here. And decided to compare people to hookers.

 

 

I really dont see how that does anyone any good.

 

 

I tried to edit it, but the forum won't let me now. Don't know why. But yes, I think it is harrassment because everytime she post her familiar opinion ( wouldn't be NF if she didn't ), he is quick to call her harsh, or cruel, or say that her thoughts are unnecessary. Her opinion might not be wanted or welcomed by some, but it is certainly necessary.

 

That and NF never called anyone a hooker. It may have been implied, but that's even reading too much into it.

 

I took her to be saying, I hope you are getting more from him than just an hour visit where you get to show him attention and he gives you very little in return. And it is what it is. No point in trying to romanticize it. What man goes to a woman's house just to talk, when they had to sneak off to do it? I don't know any.

[NoIDidn't]

BH,

 

We could all work (or at least I could) on the wording. I tried to edit the post, but alas, still can't.

 

I just think that all posters are entitled to their opinions, even unedited versions.

 

I just didn't see the hooker comment. And of course, if NF gets chastised, there is a whole host of OW waiting in line to jump on that bandwagon.

 

I am not saying that I agree with every single thing that she posts, I will admit agreeing quite often though. But I don't see the point in setting her up to get gang banged. KWIM?

[NoIDidn't]

This new computer sucks!!!!

 

Hate double posting, double editting, but love double dutch. LOL!!

[yousaveme]

I still dont see at as harassment. Because I could be saying the same thing about NF..Seems like anytime this type of thread is started having nothing really to do with the BS she is right there. Coming at you...

 

But im not going to whine about it..WHATEVER.

 

Listen I honestly dont see how you can have a relationship with anyone for an hour here and there. I can see how it can just be sex related. Or seem that way. And probably gets under a BS 's skin. To hear someone saying thats enough for them. My relationship and its circumstances are differnet. We spend time together. We do things together. We go to the gym. We do talk believe it or not. For god sakes he has been here with me when we were unable to have sex. To be frank about it.

 

He was here with me talking , laughing . Just beening together and enjoying the time we have together. I have gone with him on certain day trips when he has needed to do something.

 

We make every effort to spend quality time together.

 

 

I tried to edit it, but the forum won't let me now. Don't know why. But yes, I think it is harrassment because everytime she post her familiar opinion ( wouldn't be NF if she didn't ), he is quick to call her harsh, or cruel, or say that her thoughts are unnecessary. Her opinion might not be wanted or welcomed by some, but it is certainly necessary.

 

That and NF never called anyone a hooker. It may have been implied, but that's even reading too much into it.

 

I took her to be saying, I hope you are getting more from him than just an hour visit where you get to show him attention and he gives you very little in return. And it is what it is. No point in trying to romanticize it. What man goes to a woman's house just to talk, when they had to sneak off to do it? I don't know any.

[herenow]

OK, I only have time for one post today and this is it.

 

It always amazes me when someone can't see what they are doing to themselves when they settle for stolen time with a MM. You may not like the way NF says it, but in any language you are disrespecting yourself by letting someone treat you that way.

 

Why settle for being second? If you love someone, you should be able to tell the world and spend all the time you want with them. You deserve better than waiting for some MM to sneak away from their wife. And, the wife deserves better than having her husband lie and cheat behind her back.