Jen2006 Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Ok here's a little history my ex and I have always been off and on. Our breakups never lasting more than a day or so. Our first serious breakup lasted a week in which we agreed to be fwb. Well we did our thing once then we were back together. We have now been broken up for a month. The breakup was mutual we have a tendency of turning small problems into needing to breakup so we decided we would just end it. So we have been through hell and back since the official breakup. I figured well since we are not together why would we still argue? But we always find something. During this month we have talked maybe 5 times and I'd say 4 of those were negative conversations. Basically I thought we were just about to be to the point of never talking again. Well out of nowhere he text messaged me asking if I was going to get my stuff from his house. I replied no that I didn't want it. He then said that he wasn't inviting me over but that if I happen to be there and he was there at the same time would I be down for a "booty call" I'm so confused I thought we pretty much hated each other. Not sure how true it is but he told me he had a new girlfriend like a week ago. If so why is he trying to get a booty call? He also said during the text messages that if we do become fwb it would never be more than that. Is it possible for two people who had a very close relationship to be fwb? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Short answer: NO Long answer: IF you have a history of emotional connection to someone, once you re-establish physical intimacy it will be alarmingly easy to slip back into old habits and behavioral patterns. Basically, it will all end in the same tears that it ended in before. IMO, it's disrespectful. You can't move backwards. Link to post Share on other sites
TheDC Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 NO One of you might be able to handle it but the other won't and then it'll just get ugly. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 From my experience NO. I have done that with my ex bf. Everytime either he or I wanted more. Unfortunately, the timing was never right. He wanted to date me every time when I began a new relationship with someone else. I wanted to date him in similar circumstances. Now he is seeing someone and I am seeing someone. So I decided to give a chance to this new guy but I could not end it that easily with my ex bf. So I offered him a chance to date me. He said no, allegedly because of our "past history" and because I, in his opinion, was not ready to have a bf. Anyway, I gave up. He still talks to me and still wants to have sex The bottom line is there is a tiny chance for fwb to develop into something else. Also emotions are just crazy. Think about it: would you be ok knowing that he dates another girl? knowing that they go to movies together, spend a lot of time together, go shopping, cuddle, go out, have dinners, in short he wants to do all the stuff with her that he does not want to do with you. Would you be ok with that? What if he decides to sleep with her, would you be ok with that? For me, it was devastating Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Not so sure about the negativity of the above posts (With all respect to BO and DC) If either party is being deceitful about their motives eg leading someone on, then it is definately not cool. Since I've been single for a few months now I have had two exes from a time ago get in contact with me, one was looking for a booty call the other ended up that way, by mutual agreement I might add, no BS or anything like that. It has been going for a short while now with the two of them. I have found it cool, no one is lying, or pretending, no emotional convo's just an evening out or an afternoon coffee and some good hot sex. I have not tried to instigate anything else and neither have they, so far, who knows what will happen in the future. But I am sure if they refused at some time because they were seeing someone else I would not mind and I am sure the reverse is true. They are both free and single as am I so I see no harm being done. Link to post Share on other sites
guin_girl Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 NO!!!! Trust me, it will NOT work. You will get hurt and you will not be able to heal and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Since I've been single for a few months now I have had two exes from a time ago get in contact with me, one was looking for a booty call the other ended up that way, by mutual agreement I might add, no BS or anything like that. It has been going for a short while now with the two of them. I have found it cool, no one is lying, or pretending, no emotional convo's just an evening out or an afternoon coffee and some good hot sex. Ah yes, but the OP has been broken up from the on/off relationship for only 1 month. Don't you think that's a bit quick to be getting back with an ex for "no-strings" sex?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jen2006 Posted January 10, 2007 Author Share Posted January 10, 2007 Ah yes, but the OP has been broken up from the on/off relationship for only 1 month. Don't you think that's a bit quick to be getting back with an ex for "no-strings" sex?? That's exactly what I was thinking. He sent another message asking me. I asked about his "girlfriend" he said, that he kicked her to the curb. I just don't know how it would work out it has only been a month I think that we would still have pretty strong feelings for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 That's exactly what I was thinking. He sent another message asking me. I asked about his "girlfriend" he said, that he kicked her to the curb. I just don't know how it would work out it has only been a month I think that we would still have pretty strong feelings for each other. IME if you even think that you might have feelings for someone and enter into a FWB relationship you'll get burned. Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 re: Jen2006: " Can my ex and I be fwb?" You can until you wind up hurt and angry. That is: when he finds someone he wants to become seriously involved with -leaving you out of the picture. Then it'll smart just a little (or a lot). Best to end the contact (physical) if you're both seriously endeavoring to end the emotional side, too. An ex doesn't make an ideal friends-with-benefits partner (and who does?). You can count on that. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
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