lost military love

[honeybee255]

Him and I were both in the military. I was stationed in california and he was in the same area to. Except he was on medical hold and was getting kicked out due to medical reasons without any benefits.

 

When i first met him it was through friends. I thought he seemed to be a nice guy and that he was attractive. My friend and her guy and i were talking about going to the movies. He was in the room and asked what movies we were going to go see and i told him and invited him to go along. At first i didnt know what to think. I am wary of some men, but he captured my heart. Even that night none of us went to the movies, after dinner my other two friends ditched me and left me to him(my friend said she asked him how he felt about me adn he said he was really interested--and i told her i was).

 

So we cruised the area of san diego hitting up the gaslamp district and i have never had so much fun..he even bought me a single red flower(no one has ever done that before). He took me home that night and the next day there was a note slipped under my room door saying that he will meet up with me later and so forth..for the next week and a half we spent all our free time together. He told me he was falling for me, and i told him i was falling for him. I asked him if he wanted to get serious. He said that is my option. For he knew that he probably would be getting out of the marine corps anyhow. I shouldve known that i was setting myself up for dissappointment when he told me he had to go for a week up to 29palms and then he would find out then what was up. Mind i know that none of this was his fault. When you get medical seperated sometimes theirs nothing you can do when its in government officials hands. I know because now im going through it. But at the time i was kindof acting selfish. But it was hard becuase i was hurting.

 

I gave him my number before he went up there and i went to work that day at the hospital where at the time i was working. The last time i saw him was when i went to his room and he pulled me close and gave me a long kiss, little did i know it was my last one..I asked him to stop by my work space but he didnt..maybe he was busy getting paperwork together, but my friends said that they saw him go to the galley to eat.

 

Well a week passed by and i didnt hear from him. I called him at 29palms at his work place and the first thing that came out of his mouth was why didnt i call him back..he sounded dissappointed. I told him i had gotten no voice messages on my cell and that was the reason i was calling him. well he told me he should be back in a week and he asked for my cell again just in case he had the wrong number, etc..

 

After a couple of days my cell got turned off..so i called him back on my friends phone for my cell was the only way he had to contact me..when i talked to him again, he wanted to come see me for the coming saturday for he didnt know when or what was going on from there on out.(military likes to jerk ppl around alot). I told him i would love to see him and he said for me to call him back on friday(since my phone was off) and that he will let me know whats going on. We kindof got into it because i was upset that he told me he probably would be going back home for good, so i told him if he wanted he could crash at my friends and I's new place until whatever for she didnt care..he said that weirded him out..i told him i could see why since we werent that long together..but i would do that for anyone thats just the way i am.. well that friday I didnt call him because i made plans with friends and didnt get in late so i didnt want to call him and possibly wake him or his roomate.. well the next day i called him up sometime in early afternoon. He was already gone. I never felt so tore up in my life and it was my fault in a way for i shouldve callin him for he couldve found out something whithin that week that i didnt know about. so basically life mishaps tore us apart.

 

I knew he cared for the tone of his voice and especially when he wanted to know why i didnt call back and so forth. He was the most tenderest man i have ever been with..And i know i didnt know him long but i for some reason care about him very much..even to this day.

 

well now its my turn to get out of the military for alot of medical reasons. I never have forgotten about him and now its been 10months. Just recently i decided to go and find him(along with others that we hung with). After many searches i finally contacted him..but i didnt talk to him..i talked to his mother..at first she said no hes not home can i take a message and i told her that thats ok im overseas(japan)and its an old friend and i thought i would call and say hello..well she said she would rely the message and for me to try calling back...i did a couple of days later(which was today) and she said no hes not here but if you can give me information i will give it to him..so i told her my full name, how i knew him, where i was at now, mentioned that im getting out of the military due to medical reasons, and other little questions..i told her he might not member me since its been a while but she said she would give him what info she had..and its up to him if he wanted to talk to me or give out any information..for there dealing alot with military now and have been getting alot of calls..i told her i understand..she told me to call back so i will know..i told her i would..im scared to death to know what hes going to say or what not..she was nice but it was ackward and strange!!

 

I know ppl might think im crazy but do you think he will remember me? do you think he might still care like me? do you think he will act like he dont care? he might not even be single but i remember him giving me his name profile on yahoo and so forth and it seems hes single for he has single marked on it and has ads in profiles..i tried to contact him that way but even though its updated it says its unavailable or some crap..i gave him my screen name but that was when we drifted apart..

 

I do remember one thing though..after he called my friend Ray(ha my phone was still broke) when he made it home out of the service, and ray asked him if he remembered me(Ray said my name)..then hes like oh, ya i remember that girl.. i didnt know what to think of that, but maybe he was hurting too..or acting like he dont care...or being macho..

 

what should i say to him when i call him..its so weird to call someone after all this time but sometimes if you think of it life is to short and you have to say something...i feel that i will regret it if i dont..i dont know why..but then there is a empty nervousness in my stomach now too..how do i get there from here?sorry this is so long but i feel better now i got it off my chest..its been bothering me to long now..

[Ally Boo]

Don't fool yourself, there is no chance. He's not going to be around, so why are you doing this to yourself? It's not like ya'll have been in love for years or something. You were about to start dating, and fate just isn't working out that way. Just learn from it and move on.

[aquarius]

I should hope that he remembers you since it's only been 10 months. You should have your answer soon enough. Good for you for taking action and calling him. You've done everything you can do. I get that nervous anticipation too. Good luck!

[clia]

Ugh.

 

Don't call him.

 

If he wanted to find you, he could. (After all, you were able to find him--or at least his mother.)

 

He could find you! He didn't! Doesn't that tell you anything?

 

Who knows what happened when you two were dating. Maybe he met someone else. Maybe he wasn't as interested as he initially thought. Maybe the timing was just bad. Who knows? At any rate, it didn't work out. He didn't do anything to try and make it work out. It sounds like you did nearly all of the calling and pursuing.

 

I'm not trying to be mean, but stop chasing this guy. He's had TEN months to find you, and he didn't! If he really wanted to talk to you, he would FIND A WAY. You certainly exhibited enough signs that you were interested. If he cared, he would have tried. He would've done anything possible to make sure that you remained a part of his life. HE DIDN'T DO THIS.

 

Don't call his mother again. He has your information. The ball is in HIS court to contact YOU. Chasing him in this way will only make you look foolish! He has your information. If he wants contact, he'll make it. If you call him out of the blue, you run the risk of it being completely uncomfortable.

 

JMO. Guys call and call and call and don't forget about you when they want you. This guy hasn't done any of that. Why are you wasting your time? Move on, move on, move on!

[aquarius]

We don't know what this guy is thinking. She blew him off and maybe he thought she was no longer interested. It works both ways. I say go for it. It's the only way you are going to find out if there are any possibilities between you two. It's not like you're stalking him. You'll call and get your answer and if he's not interested then you can move on.

[Ally Boo]

What's the point? She'll still be in a long distance relationship, and that sucks worse than what she's going through now! I say move on, thats too much drama to deal with.

[honeybee255]

actually no i wouldnt be in a long distance relationship. Im going to be either traveling or going back to my area which is close by to him. I just wanted to see basically how he is doing..yes i care(im just that way) and even though i didnt know him well, there is certain things i want to see and alsolike how he is doing and that i hope his life is good..far as i know he could've tried contacting me..i went overseas number one which is hard to find someone, and i left san diego soon like he did..and kept contact with no one..just up and left, fast...i dont even talk to my old roomate and we were close..

I havent called yet, im really nervous..of course she told me to, but i guess im setting my self up for the worst, for i dont want to get my hopes up to even talk..if not then i will send a letter saying what i have to say and be done with it:)..

[honeybee255]

well since his mother told me to call back i did a week or so later..and she said hes busy working full time for his father, and has a part time job and is going to engineer school full time, and i asked her if he remembers me and she said "well he vaguely remembers" and that she gave him my number and so forth(well my cell phone is thrown out since i cant use it state side--its a japenese phone)..i never felt so crushed but i guess i shouldve known it was coming..i know hes busy too, and my life is so complicated now, but she made me kindof feel like an idiot..she knows that i was trying to get ahold of "old buddies" and that im getting out, but like i said before, im going to write to him and explain a couple of things that i have to explain to him, but i cant get into it on here.. i just know that if we were to see or meet each other again, i know that things would change..if i dont hear from him then oh well, i guess my life moves on..as much as it hurts..