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Should I send him a BD gift after 2.5 months of NC?


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Hi All,

 

First of all, thank you very much for reading my question... I am wondering whether or not I should send him a BD gift (e.g., a light gift to his company such as an assorted popcorn from popcorn factory or so, no flowers or somthign heavy).

 

Please let me explain our relationship and how he broke up with me first...

 

Relationship:

We have dated about 3 months. We felt a strong connection on the first date. We shared the similar interests and values. Also, we both found physically attractive. We moved very quickly, introducing to parents within the 3 months, we have even introduced our parents. He even mentioned moving in and started to discuss where we would live in future.

 

We both have strong personality and we had a tendency to have very submissive ex. We shared the same views for our issues finding a right person and we both felt that we needed someone like us (strong, but responsible). However, 2 strong people caused issues sometimes. We had never had arguments or fights, rather a talk about our disagreement. Well, in the end, I found out that I was stronger. I tended to "win" in the conversation, and as time goes by, he started to feel that he is outside of his comfort zone.

 

Break-up:

One night, we had a talk about our differences. I quietly told him about my view. He was first scared that I was gonna break-up. I told him clearly that it is not my intension. This is all about us feeling better about our relationship. After I stated my feeling, he said that he loves me and we will work on it. I thought that our conversation went well. However, he did not contact me for 3 days. I did not contact him assuming that he needs time and space to think about our conversation. Finally, he emailed me saying that he is not ready to be in a realtionship that he thought he wanted. He suggested that he would still like to be friends and would call me later the night.

 

After I came down, I told him that I respect and support his decision, but I cannot be friends. I do not need mercy friendship. He tried to explain where he is coming from, but I told him that I do not need any explanation. Bottom line, he does not want to be with me, then, I will take it. He insisted to remain friends. He said that he wants to get involved in my life and does not want to be gone for good. He felt that he is loosing a control in this relationship and afraid that I will dislike him and he will loose me if we continue being BF and GF. He needs time to grow up. His exs were the type crying apologizing and claiming to change whoever he wants to be with. I did not do that.

 

After the break-up:

He emailed me twice since then, simple merry x'mas and happy new year emails. I returned simple emails as well, but besides those, I kept NC as I really love him and I want him to think about who he is and what I meant to him. I hoped that he was an ******* so that I can hate him, but he was not. I heard through his friends that he has been miserable missing me, but he still thinks that it is not a good idea to contact me since he thinks that he has not changed. He is hoping that someday after he grows up, our pass will come across.

 

Question:

As I mentioned above, I still care about him very much. I came to this website and kept strict NC. I want him back, but not confused him. I want him back after he clears up his mind. His birthday is next week. I want to send him something. However, this is a break of NC. Although it is very nice to hear his voice, I do not need to hear just his voice. I want to send him a gift though because I want him to know that I still care about him. I appreciate very much if anyone can share your thought.

 

Thank you very much in advance...

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First of all you seemed to have been doing well so far with NC, so IMHO I would not send him any gifts of the sort for his B'day. Your still broken up and the relationship has ended, and you are not friends either.

All it would do is confuse matters so leave well alone.If he truly wants you back, I'm sure he would know where to find you.

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I went into NC too. I decided to stop all communication initiation and sending her a birthday electronic card.

 

ya they know where to find you.

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I know it's easier said than done. Practice strict NC on his birthday, too, not even a card or e-card. It sounds like for the meantime he is sticking to his decision that he does not want to date you.

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Should you send a gift -or acknowledge a person's birthday during NC?

 

No. Not unless you're looking for an excuse to break NC.

 

Simple.

 

-Rio

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Should you send a gift -or acknowledge a person's birthday during NC?

 

No. Not unless you're looking for an excuse to break NC.

 

Simple.

 

-Rio

 

 

EXACTLY!

 

And Rio, good to see you around :)

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