Mydish1 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I just have a general question for you folks here, what exactly is your motivation or purpose behind the dating scene: for those of you that date a lot, date depending on who it is, or used to date. In regards to chemistry, do you date someone because of the very reason of chemistry from the get-go? OR do you date the person because you find them attractive on some level (physical/personality), and hope that chemistry comes along the way? OR you date simply for the sake of dating to filter the good, the bad, and the ugly and because you dont like the idea of staying single? I'm taking this philosophy course, and it's kind of opened my eyes to questioning the dating scene regarding me. I know what chemistry is, and i realize most of my past dating experiences were based of instant chemistry. What's ironic is often these girls were always around, i never noticed them until a reason came for us to talk and just like that! chemistry hit the both of us. but on some cases down the line i lost interest in them. I encounter women everyday, mainly from college. a lot of them are pretty i have to admit, but none of them strike me as to quote 'jaw dropping, i have to get to know her no matter what!'. I suppose the BIGGER question i'm aiming at is it possible i'm missing out on potential success in my dating life, because im not going out of my way to interact with women? - women whom i have no interest to talk to (and possibly even showing me signs of interest). Am i denying myself of attained chemistry vs. instant chemistry with women? You could argue that I'm not putting myself out there to increase potential opportunities with women. But it's the same idea as forcing me to talk to a stranger whom i have no interest in getting to know. in relation, lately i havent met anyone in from school or elsewhere that seem interesting..they bore me for reasons unknown. I hope i got my point across (as confusing) as it may sound. But if anyone has a chance to explain their approach on the dating scene on how they luck out with the right mate, do tell. Link to post Share on other sites
LN99 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I feel the same way(and Im a female). I don't date guys until I find one thats interesting physically and mentally. I do look for that chemistry, but that comes in time.(I have to get to know them.) As for guys who are hot, I don't even pursue that unless there is something more to them to back it up. Where if I find a guy who is average with an awesome personality, his personality enhances his looks in my eyes and I find him even more attractive. Oh yeah, and I don't date just to have someone. So what your saying does make sense. Your not abnormal. I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to someone I have no interest in. But its funny how sometimes when you don't have interest in someone and you get to know them(thru a common interest), you find yourself feeling different after awhile. Suddenly you do find them attractive mainly because you got to know them as a person. I dunno, thats happened for me. I don't know if anyone else can relate. Link to post Share on other sites
jusified Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Chemistry come over time, when you really get to know the person and who they are. Then the relationship need constant work and maintainence with both parties puttng in 120%. Lust comes straight away, chemistry never comes straight away. You might like how a person look, think you know someone in one night of small talk but if they are interested in your then they are most likely on their best behaviour/turning on the charm Link to post Share on other sites
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