Seen_It_All Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 Good God - what a complete SCUMBAG. You're braver than I because I would never breed with a low-life from the most shallow end of the gene pool like this parasite. I'm always amazed at women on this site who continually disrespect themselves by staying involved with liars when they find out how they've been conned from the start. You were CONNED. This is not a great love, your are not soulmates, this is nothing but a scumbag PREDATOR hitting on innocent women simply looking to find dates or spouses on a dating website. This is a person you should DESPISE, not love or have children with. And this idiot should have used better birth control, especially if he knew you were pro-life. Stupid moron. I'm sure a baby is the very last thing this scumbag wanted. It's a heavy price to pay for his lying and screwing around. This guy must be pretty ugly if he has to reduce himself to lying on dating sites. One would think a guy of such power and position would be beating off the ladies with a stick in his everyday life. And yet, he reduced himself to predator status on the computer. What a complete LOSER. I can only imagine what your other children must think of their mother being pregnant with some mystery man's child. It's also a crying shame that this innocent baby is going to have to be subjected to lies, ambiguity, rejection by his scumbag father and the eventuality of learning the TRUTH of his paternity - because it will come out. Sure as the sun rises. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 14, 2007 Author Share Posted January 14, 2007 Good God - what a complete SCUMBAG. You're braver than I because I would never breed with a low-life from the most shallow end of the gene pool like this parasite. I'm always amazed at women on this site who continually disrespect themselves by staying involved with liars when they find out how they've been conned from the start. You were CONNED. This is not a great love, your are not soulmates, this is nothing but a scumbag PREDATOR hitting on innocent women simply looking to find dates or spouses on a dating website. This is a person you should DESPISE, not love or have children with. And this idiot should have used better birth control, especially if he knew you were pro-life. Stupid moron. I'm sure a baby is the very last thing this scumbag wanted. It's a heavy price to pay for his lying and screwing around. This guy must be pretty ugly if he has to reduce himself to lying on dating sites. One would think a guy of such power and position would be beating off the ladies with a stick in his everyday life. And yet, he reduced himself to predator status on the computer. What a complete LOSER. I can only imagine what your other children must think of their mother being pregnant with some mystery man's child. It's also a crying shame that this innocent baby is going to have to be subjected to lies, ambiguity, rejection by his scumbag father and the eventuality of learning the TRUTH of his paternity - because it will come out. Sure as the sun rises. He knew I wanted children later down the road, but later as in a couple of years down the road. I wantes to spend time for him and i to be alone first. I was the only woman he ever met that DID NOT want to marry him, but would consider having children with him in the future. He is a very physically attractive man...he has a body better than most 25 year olds... He can be very sweet...he is very much a mannered gentleman in public...I think the reason he went to the websites is because he is married and couldn't date women he was around socially, because they would know he is married. I've called him on his lies...he has to respond to my emails...we are going to see each other in a few days...I am not taking silence as an answer. So, we will see what he has to say...but he has to quit lying...I cant take the lying anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 He knew I wanted children later down the road, but later as in a couple of years down the road. I wantes to spend time for him and i to be alone first. I was the only woman he ever met that DID NOT want to marry him, but would consider having children with him in the future. He is a very physically attractive man...he has a body better than most 25 year olds... He can be very sweet...he is very much a mannered gentleman in public...I think the reason he went to the websites is because he is married and couldn't date women he was around socially, because they would know he is married. I've called him on his lies...he has to respond to my emails...we are going to see each other in a few days...I am not taking silence as an answer. So, we will see what he has to say...but he has to quit lying...I cant take the lying anymore... Well if you are going to see him in a couple of days... please make sure that you tell a close friend where you are going, and at what time and with who. I would listen to people here and watch your back!!! Try to take yourself out of the situation when you see him, observe his body language as a third party would, do not trust everything that he says... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 14, 2007 Author Share Posted January 14, 2007 Well if you are going to see him in a couple of days... please make sure that you tell a close friend where you are going, and at what time and with who. I would listen to people here and watch your back!!! Try to take yourself out of the situation when you see him, observe his body language as a third party would, do not trust everything that he says... He called me this afternoon. He read the emails I sent to him. He was very sweet and calm. He told me he was not mad about anything and for me not to worry. He said we will talk about everything when we meet next week. But everything will be alright. So, I will keep the situation updated as it progresses. i hope I have pleasent news after we speak this week. I do have someone that knows his real identity and when I see him. But, trust me I think if he was going to make me disappear it wouldnt matter who knew what. His contacts in the military and overseas is unlimited. So, that is not something I can concern myself with...I dont think that he is that type of man...but Ted Bundy was a hellofa guy until he wasn't! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 15, 2007 Author Share Posted January 15, 2007 Our baby is doing well, strong heartbeat and very active kicking about...the dr. says I need to get more sleep...yeah, I wish. Insomnia is kicking me in the butt...maybe more cardio will help? Link to post Share on other sites
MoonGirl Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Bella, I'm glad to hear the baby is doing well. I hope that you are able to be strong enough to do what's best for your baby. Please don't believe this man when he says he will provide you and the baby with money. He has lied to you before, so what makes you think he won't lie again? Have you considered talking to a lawyer? There may be a way to protect your identy even if you demand child support legally. PLEASE talk to a lawyer. Your MM is being extra sweet because he knows that if he upsets you now life as he knows it is over. I'm sure he doesn't want a baby and he doesn't want to pay for it either. More than that, he doesn't want his family or the public to know about it. If you are passive and "happy", he may get all that he wants. He will say anything to you right now to ensure that you are happy and not willing to upset his comfy life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 Bella, I'm glad to hear the baby is doing well. I hope that you are able to be strong enough to do what's best for your baby. Please don't believe this man when he says he will provide you and the baby with money. He has lied to you before, so what makes you think he won't lie again? Have you considered talking to a lawyer? There may be a way to protect your identy even if you demand child support legally. PLEASE talk to a lawyer. Your MM is being extra sweet because he knows that if he upsets you now life as he knows it is over. I'm sure he doesn't want a baby and he doesn't want to pay for it either. More than that, he doesn't want his family or the public to know about it. If you are passive and "happy", he may get all that he wants. He will say anything to you right now to ensure that you are happy and not willing to upset his comfy life. he is the one who called me and told me he was bringing me money to open a trust account that he I could access for whatever needs we have. I did not ask him to do this...he told me this is what we were doing. He told me what bank to use...what type of account to open...etc. He donates millions of dollars to charities...I really dont think financially providing for his son is something he would ever even consider contesting. Again, I did not ask...he offered. I really think the public thing is not just for himself...I think it is for his family too...no one wants to put stress or hurt on their children. etc. so, protecting privacy I dont think is entirely just for him...like I said his family is very public and in their world scandal is something that doesnt go away in a week! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yeah but he is and has been putting his own reputation and his family, his wife at risk because he is cheating on them!! Gawwd, this is starting to make my blood boil. I wish you could see what I see, Bella... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Yeah but he is and has been putting his own reputation and his family, his wife at risk because he is cheating on them!! Gawwd, this is starting to make my blood boil. I wish you could see what I see, Bella... I will know more when we have an opportunity to talk this week. I do realize this situation may blow up in my face...and I have to be prepared for that. But, I do like to beleive the best in people. I hope he is the man I love in my heart...I see something in him...I dont know his situation with his wife. I do know several men stay married because of the financial cost of a divorce...look at Tommy Hilfiger who is married and publicly lives with his girlfriend. Why do that? Obviously his wife knows...it has to be about the money. So, I dont know what his situation is...he may surprise us all...I will keep everyone posted... Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 OMG... What fairy-tale pills have you been taking... It is sad enough that most of these OW have their heads stuck up there butts and no grasp or reality but you Miss, you have a child. How are you going to explain this to your other children? How is that going to feel when your other children get a little older and realize that their own mother is a home-wrecker? How is this child going to feel growing up without it father? Do you have any idea how selfish YOU are acting? Wake the f*ck up... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 OMG... What fairy-tale pills have you been taking... It is sad enough that most of these OW have their heads stuck up there butts and no grasp or reality but you Miss, you have a child. How are you going to explain this to your other children? How is that going to feel when your other children get a little older and realize that their own mother is a home-wrecker? How is this child going to feel growing up without it father? Do you have any idea how selfish YOU are acting? Wake the f*ck up... My child will never know I am a homewrecker...because I am not. I got involved with a man who claimed to be single, never married, no children and 41 years old. It wasnt until after we were pregnant that I discovered the truth. Besides, a woman who knowingly dates a MM is not the only person wrecking the home...I think a good majority o that blame belongs to the MM! My child will have his father in his life...that has already been decided...but again...no child is guaranteed a father forever...car wrecks, etc. happen all the time. My other children are thrilled that they are going to have a another sibling... Selfish would have been to terminate the pregnancy...a child is the greatest joy in life... But thanks for your ranting opinion! Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 My child will never know I am a homewrecker...because I am not. I got involved with a man who claimed to be single, never married, no children and 41 years old. It wasnt until after we were pregnant that I discovered the truth. Besides, a woman who knowingly dates a MM is not the only person wrecking the home...I think a good majority o that blame belongs to the MM! My child will have his father in his life...that has already been decided...but again...no child is guaranteed a father forever...car wrecks, etc. happen all the time. My other children are thrilled that they are going to have a another sibling... Selfish would have been to terminate the pregnancy...a child is the greatest joy in life... But thanks for your ranting opinion! I am sorry but you are only rationalizing all this now. Your other children may very well be happy that they are getting a new sibling. But when they get older and start to form their own options this is really going to change. They may never even ask you the questions but they will always be there... Mom, why were you sleeping with a married man? Mom, why weren't you careful and responsible enough not to get pregnant? Mom, why would you stay with a lying scum-bag who was just looking to hook-up with chick online? You may find you situation romantic and heart warming but for most other people on the outside... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 I am sorry but you are only rationalizing all this now. Your other children may very well be happy that they are getting a new sibling. But when they get older and start to form their own options this is really going to change. They may never even ask you the questions but they will always be there... Mom, why were you sleeping with a married man? Mom, why weren't you careful and responsible enough not to get pregnant? Mom, why would you stay with a lying scum-bag who was just looking to hook-up with chick online? You may find you situation romantic and heart warming but for most other people on the outside... The only reason children would, at any age, ask those explicit questions is because a vicidictive adult put those quesitons in their minds. As far as the on-line question...well, certain things in a relationship children dont have a need to know. I dont lie to my children, but I also do not thrust them into the emotional baggage of an adult situation. The particulars of my relationship is not something you share with your children...particularly at such young ages. My children are very well cared for and protected. They are not exposed to bitterness...not even when it comes to my relationship with their fathers. The relationship they have is totally separate from that of mine with their fathers. So, I hate to say this but I really feel like you have some serious bitterness. Where you a child effected by OW/OM affair from one of your parents. You really seem to be steadfast in the fact that such intimate details will be open knowledge to young children??? Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I am not talking about children but at some point they are going to grow up and you are going to have to answer a lot of questions. I think you are completely underestimating what a child can be like during and after puberty... I am really not ranting here. I have first hand experience as to what it is like growing up in a situation like this and I can tell you when you become an adult in something like this it isn't pretty. It is an awful thing when you lose respect for a parent as a young adult. Link to post Share on other sites
lost one Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Im sorry my views are different as I am the wife of a man who had an affair and a child with the OW. I hope you have thought this over very carefully. There are many people involved here who lives will change forever. This man will not leave his wife and you will be left with raising this child on your own. Will this child be a reminder to you of what you could not have. Are you being selfish by wanting to hold on to something of his. You also have to think of the lives of his family as well. If this gets out this will destroy there lives. His wife and kids are the innocent ones here. There are many things to think about before you go forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 Im sorry my views are different as I am the wife of a man who had an affair and a child with the OW. I hope you have thought this over very carefully. There are many people involved here who lives will change forever. This man will not leave his wife and you will be left with raising this child on your own. Will this child be a reminder to you of what you could not have. Are you being selfish by wanting to hold on to something of his. You also have to think of the lives of his family as well. If this gets out this will destroy there lives. His wife and kids are the innocent ones here. There are many things to think about before you go forward. I have had the view of what would be easiest and fair for all those who could/would be effected. But, no matter, I can not kill our son. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Your rants are not helping one iota. All these shoulda woulda coulda judgments are not necessary. This woman is obviously trying to deal with her situation as it is NOW. The past cannot be changed. She will NOW and in the future, deal with her children as she feels is best. For NOW she has more pressing things to deal with. Hang in there Bella. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 Your rants are not helping one iota. All these shoulda woulda coulda judgments are not necessary. This woman is obviously trying to deal with her situation as it is NOW. The past cannot be changed. She will NOW and in the future, deal with her children as she feels is best. For NOW she has more pressing things to deal with. Hang in there Bella. Thank You...the most innocent one of all is the unborn child...and (children)...I dont understand why many take the OM or OW as the one soley responsible for the hurt of the MW or MM spouse/family? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 Tomorrow I meet with my attorney. Please help me be strong and do what needs to be done for our son. My MM is out of the country working until Friday evening, so I am full of emotion right now. Wish me luck... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bellababygirl Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 You guys are too much...what's with all the research???? I thought this was an anonymous chat??? Don't push for details that could be destructive please. I love him and dont want to make our relationship public. My attorney has advised that since he is a man of unlimited means that it is a negotiation. In addition, since I am still seeing him and dont want to make demands that I should leave the ball in his court. Meaning...have him (my MM) contact my attorney or have his attorney contact him with an offer on what is equitable and fair to provide for our son. Then we can go from there. I hadn't considered the fact my attorney pointed out that he may have other children he has had this same situation and his attorney may already have something in mind to deal with such circumstances. So, what I may consider is allowing him to sign a declaration of Non-paternity, meaning just that. But, ONLY IF, he provided a home and a substantial single sum of monies to provide for the child a lifestyle he would otherwise be entitled to as his son. In addition, if privacy is still a concern I could volunteer to relocate to another state whereas we could still continue our relationship as desired but incur less opportunity for public exposure. As far as last names go...not to worry about putting him on birth certificate because no matter what we do agree upon or sign...it will never negate the childs rights. So, at the age of 18 the child will be able to rightfully seek the change of his last name to that of his father, if he so chooses. So, that is about it for now. My attorney says that to avoid any legal order of monthly support, public exposure, that he would have to provide a substantial lump sum to secure the childs support now. If not, then a support order would have to be filed and sought to secure that it would be paid. Him just making deposits would not be a gaurentee without a legal order of support. Well, guys, I dont know if that is what you were all expecting...I feel better making him be the one to make an offer for my attorney and I to consider. (Putting the ball in his court so to say.) I think it is a less evasive route to go. However, he will have to make a decision. He is out of the country until Friday evening, so when he returns (and we see each other - probably next week) I will give him my attorneys card and let him know what my attorney requests. I will keep you posted... Does anyone have any thoughts on what my MM reaction will be??? I would love to hear it! Link to post Share on other sites
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