PollyPocket Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I have been watching on the sidelines for awhile now. I have noticed some OW or ONE REALLY, that seems to want the MM. To the point that insults the BS by advising us to give up. This makes me physically ill to read this. How dare you? You know what I feel like I should put him up FOR SALE. I will name my price and you buy him. LOL. NO, I think the OW like the fairly tale. Well, I hope this did not seem offensive. I just needed to take this off my chest. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Polly, why do you come here then? What do you expect to hear when you come here? It is the OW/OM Forum...I really think for your own sanity, you shouldn't read the posts here...I am not offended, I just don't understand why you are torturing yourself when you don't have to... Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Two dollars, take it or leave it. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Hey Polly, Everyone has a different circumstance, a different story....all is unique. I know you mostlikely hate OW and see each one as the one in your life, but in all actuality the H is the issue....the OW doesn't have the power to break up a marriage, and doesn't really want that power.... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Polly, I might get kicked by some on my "team" for saying this, but I agree with GEL. As a BW, previously or currently, its really hard to read this stuff with your A hat on. But once you are past the pain, hurt, and rage stage, it just reads like a sad melodrama, LOL. Ahhhhhhhh, the tragedy. Love requited but not free. Where's the humanity type deal. LOL!!! I hope you laughed. I hope someone laughed. LOL! Anyone.......anyone.....okay, I'll keep my day job. Hope you feel better soon. Feel free to PM me, if you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I think she was referring to YSM's mental meltdown yesterday. The girl has issues, why should she leave? Why dont you just answer her questions? Why do the OW want BS to give up? Oh and wouldnt that be convinient. Maybe us BS should get together and have a neighborhood garage sale this spring. Fu*ckers. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 The girl has issues, why should she leave? Why dont you just answer her questions? Why do the OW want BS to give up?/quote] RMD...have you read her posts? She is in PAIN and this is NOT HELPING HER...this is just hurting her...she is not ready...I don't want her to be hurt further...she needs to begin healing and she's not THERE yet... As for the rest of your questions, they don't even warrant a response... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Maybe us BS should get together and have a neighborhood garage sale this spring. RMD, We should do that. Seriously. I'd be really curious who would show up at my house for this sale. But I think he'd cost to much though when they add in the spousal support, the child support, the keep up my lifestyle support, the guilt support, and the whatever else I want support. LOL! Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Why do the OW want BS to give up? I'll answer this question, even though I am not the/an OW. OW wants BS to give up because then she feels MM will have no reason keeping him from being with her fulltime and out in the open. Problem is, unless he is a serial cheater type then you still have to worry about OOW, once MM is free he realizes that he is free to date ANYONE. And there is much more competition when you look at it that way. Well, that's what I would do. Being honest. Sorry OM. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Yeah but Green Eyed Lady wont come to our neighborhood. Too ghetto, I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Well.....I may browse around.... Do any of them come with a money back guarantee in case I buy a damaged one? If so, I will bring my coin purse.... Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 The girl has issues, why should she leave? Why dont you just answer her questions? Why do the OW want BS to give up?/quote] RMD...have you read her posts? She is in PAIN and this is NOT HELPING HER...this is just hurting her...she is not ready...I don't want her to be hurt further...she needs to begin healing and she's not THERE yet... As for the rest of your questions, they don't even warrant a response... and I shudder when anyone is in pain. Please be nice to YSM ladies. She is a sweet kid. And it is hard for me to have salt poured into her wounds. She is human. Please remember that... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Well.....I may browse around.... Do any of them come with a money back guarantee in case I buy a damaged one? If so, I will bring my coin purse.... ROTFLMAO....... Nope, no money back guarantees. In fact, I'm not selling mine. He's much too valuable to me and our family. I would call him priceless. That and I don't feel like cleaning up my trailer! Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 ROTFLMAO....... Nope, no money back guarantees. In fact, I'm not selling mine. He's much too valuable to me and our family. I would call him priceless. That and I don't feel like cleaning up my trailer! Why are all the good ones already taken? :bunny: Romeo, I will buy yours sight unseen.... Deal? Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 FN, you made me an offer I can't refuse. *plays Godfather theme* Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Yes!!! Finally! One to call my own! Since I live in the Southwest, are you gonna pay for the shipping and handling????? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 My post was in regards to PollyPocket...if you read here posts, her H is still in the A...she is not ready to hear what is said on this board, as her posts show her raw pain... It was someone else who brought up YSM... Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Yes, It was someone else who pointed this BS my way. She is not the BS in my situtation. As far as my other post being a "mental breakdown". That was taken in the wrong direction and those who understood it , I thank them. For Pollypocket - you need to go to the Infidelity forum. You are not going to get the support here that you are looking for. Especially with the tone of your threads. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Nah, I think Polly is fine, and no matter what happens, she will still be fine. She is a strong woman. A persons true character always comes out through adversity. Don't ever expect a BS to just lay down and die for you. She may just challenge you, and confront you face to face. She is entitled to do that and has every right to do so. The only thing that has sheltered you for so long is the secrecy and the lies and I really wonder what are you going to do when you dont have that mystery to hide behind anymore, but I am a patient person and we'll just wait and see how it all plays out in the end. IMO, It's the OW who isn't safe. You have more to lose than you ever dreamed, but thats the chance you take when you have an affair with someone elses husband. Anyway, I don't think it is you (the OW) who is protecting her. I think you are just protecting yourselves and that it's you who cannot deal with BS issues. Yes there is a time and place for everything, but this is the time and this definately is the place. lol. She wouldnt be asking if she didn't want the answers. She's been lied to for years and now she wants to know why a BS should just leave her husband and let you have him. Then there is always the issue of wether or not she will get the truth, or their own twisted version of the truth. AS far as YSM goes, I don't have anything to say to her. I already said what I had to say, but Polly, poor Polly I understand what she said perfectly. I tried to make her laugh a little bit here to take the sting away, but I just happen to agree with her also, that it's insulting to tell a BS to leave her husband (though it happens all the time, you should leave the cheater) but I have a higher threshold for pain and I'm much more tolerant than she is right now. She does have support from other BS wether she realizes that or not. YSM's issue (as is many others here) is that the BW isn't leaving and her gripe every other day of the week is because of the fact her MM is still married. So she has finally revealed herself and what she is after. The BW is the weak link between her and MM and she cries how unfair it is yet she makes pretenses that everything is good when clearly it is not. How her MM is so noble staying for his children. Just remember that MM is a cheater, and he'd sell his own children if he could get away with it. If he really cared about those kids he wouldnt mess with their lives like he has for the last year. He is a jerk. That is all she has though, and for whatever reasons her MM hasnt filed and he hasn't left his wife, she will not change the status quo even for the smallest chance she will be with him in the end. But dont ever ask a BS to help you out and leave her husband to help you achieve that goal. That is rude. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 She is entitled to do that (fight for her M) and has every right to do so. But dont ever ask a BS to help you out and leave her husband to help you achieve that goal. That is rude. Its worst than rude. Rude is asking can you butt in front of me in a long line because you have something important to get to and can't be bothered with the line. Asking me to butt out of my M, because its in your way, is waaaaay worst than rude. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Polly, I agree with GEL, actually. Reading the posts of OW at the stage you are in is going to really tear you apart. Hell, it tears BS's apart that have either accepted their situations or have reconciled. I say keep it to the infidelity forum and maybe ask specifically for the help of BS's. You will get little support from the OW here - like their MM they choose to see themselves only through the eyes of people who do not hold them accountable for their lack of integrity - it doesn't make them feel warm and fuzzy and these are people with an "if it feels good do it attitude." Please don't bring down the OW on this board - they are very tender creatures trying to deal with a very difficult situation. They NEED to believe that they are have very special situations and seeing things through the eyes of the BS starts to deteriorate the little picture they have painted for themselves to justify their behavior. Always keep in mind that the OW here are not your H's OW - its some other poor souls life they are helping to ruin because a man who couldn't honor his commitments needs THEM to be happy. Prayers and hugs, IWWH Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Personally if I was a BS, I don't think I could visit this Board and read the threads...let alone give advice. I think I have a clue from reading the posts of BS of the amount of pain and anger the affair...or rather in plain language, adultery... caused. Many times I read threads from OWs and OMs and wonder if they really understand the pain they have caused to BS and their unsuspecting children. Many times I read that "the marriage was over before we met. I didn't cause the split" and I wonder if they really understand that as long as there is no third party, then many, many hurting marriages can be reconciled. As soon as a third party is allowed in the bedroom, then very few marriages survive. And yes, in many threads...in this section and others...I cannot believe what some people do with their lives. But like GEL, I take the angle that these people have come here for advice. I will "gently judge" but I feel it is wrong to come to a section of the Board if one cannot advise with helpful feedback. Since I have not walked in their shoes, then I probably don't have the "wisdom" to decide exactly what they should be doing. However, I can give advice based on my experiences...and often do. If anyone has been betrayed by a spouse and cannot offer objective advice, then I feel that those types of posts are better off not written. I think angry and offensive posts from BS will do more damage for the person who is the OW or OM than honest yet noncritical feedback. If the person leaves here without understanding the ramifications one way or another with regards to his or her situation, then we have failed. I find it hard to believe that angry and accsuing posts will make them "see the light." I find it hard to believe that they will suddenly quit the affair. But I have found from experience here, that a number of OWs and OMs have realized the pain caused. They have stepped back and said to the MM or MW, "Choose today who you want." or "When you leave your marriage, then give me a call." In these cases, maybe we at this Board have played a role in preventing a disaster. Just MO. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Polly, I agree with GEL, actually. Reading the posts of OW at the stage you are in is going to really tear you apart. Hell, it tears BS's apart that have either accepted their situations or have reconciled. I say keep it to the infidelity forum and maybe ask specifically for the help of BS's. You will get little support from the OW here - like their MM they choose to see themselves only through the eyes of people who do not hold them accountable for their lack of integrity - it doesn't make them feel warm and fuzzy and these are people with an "if it feels good do it attitude." Please don't bring down the OW on this board - they are very tender creatures trying to deal with a very difficult situation. They NEED to believe that they are have very special situations and seeing things through the eyes of the BS starts to deteriorate the little picture they have painted for themselves to justify their behavior. Always keep in mind that the OW here are not your H's OW - its some other poor souls life they are helping to ruin because a man who couldn't honor his commitments needs THEM to be happy. Prayers and hugs, IWWH :laugh: love it Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Polly - take this woman advise..She gives the best. Nah, I think Polly is fine, and no matter what happens, she will still be fine. She is a strong woman. A persons true character always comes out through adversity. Don't ever expect a BS to just lay down and die for you. She may just challenge you, and confront you face to face. She is entitled to do that and has every right to do so. The only thing that has sheltered you for so long is the secrecy and the lies and I really wonder what are you going to do when you dont have that mystery to hide behind anymore, but I am a patient person and we'll just wait and see how it all plays out in the end. IMO, It's the OW who isn't safe. You have more to lose than you ever dreamed, but thats the chance you take when you have an affair with someone elses husband. Anyway, I don't think it is you (the OW) who is protecting her. I think you are just protecting yourselves and that it's you who cannot deal with BS issues. Yes there is a time and place for everything, but this is the time and this definately is the place. lol. She wouldnt be asking if she didn't want the answers. She's been lied to for years and now she wants to know why a BS should just leave her husband and let you have him. Then there is always the issue of wether or not she will get the truth, or their own twisted version of the truth. AS far as YSM goes, I don't have anything to say to her. I already said what I had to say, but Polly, poor Polly I understand what she said perfectly. I tried to make her laugh a little bit here to take the sting away, but I just happen to agree with her also, that it's insulting to tell a BS to leave her husband (though it happens all the time, you should leave the cheater) but I have a higher threshold for pain and I'm much more tolerant than she is right now. She does have support from other BS wether she realizes that or not. YSM's issue (as is many others here) is that the BW isn't leaving and her gripe every other day of the week is because of the fact her MM is still married. So she has finally revealed herself and what she is after. The BW is the weak link between her and MM and she cries how unfair it is yet she makes pretenses that everything is good when clearly it is not. How her MM is so noble staying for his children. Just remember that MM is a cheater, and he'd sell his own children if he could get away with it. If he really cared about those kids he wouldnt mess with their lives like he has for the last year. He is a jerk. That is all she has though, and for whatever reasons her MM hasnt filed and he hasn't left his wife, she will not change the status quo even for the smallest chance she will be with him in the end. But dont ever ask a BS to help you out and leave her husband to help you achieve that goal. That is rude. Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Polly - why dont you go into IC. Get your issues resolved by some professionals that can help you. You seem to be very angry and in need of some help. Please take care of yourself. Beware of some posters that seem to care about you. Alot have been having an issue with MPD. I hate to see you get messed up in someones twisted issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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