He confuses me so much!

[MotherGooze]

You should probably read this thread first

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t109082/

 

Now, after that we let each other alone for a few days, because we both thought it was a good idea. But there really is something bothering me. He says that I care for him too much. But I think we both care for each other the same. Even though he doesn't show a lot of his feelings I know how much he cares for me through his actions. So he confuses me by saying that I shouldn't care that much about him. He says that no one has ever done that and that I shouldn't do that as well. But you know that's just how relationships are...I know he hasn't got a lot of serious relationship experience, let's just say none; but it really bugs me that he says such a thing, and I want to do something about it. I just wouldn't know how. I'm scared that he's afraid of being loved or something, it could probably ruin our second chance.

[Santiago 17]

I know how you feel, some people are just not with it as far as caring. I don't know why? My ex and I gave it a second go, and she really tried to be caring and attentive, but you can't force something like that. The other person has to want to do it not try to remember to do it or be forced to do it. I found that the less love and affection I got the more I pushed for it and the less she wanted to give it. Some people just don't do that sort of a thing on a regular basis. They may at first but, once you get into what I like to call the "comfort zone" things change. I'll admit I change a little once I am really comfortable w/ someone, but they are little things I still listen to them, tell them I love them and show affection. Hell, in my last relationship it got so bad that I would purposely not call her at night before I came home just to see how long it would take her to notice b/c she just didn't ever call me anymore unless she wanted something, and it really hurt me b/c she didn't even notice if I was hours late? She used too be worried sick if I was just a half hour late?

 

Santiago

[MotherGooze]

Well, that's not really the deal here. He really cares about me a lot and he notices the things I do for him. I think he's just scared of showing his feelings, it always takes a while before he can actually feel comfortable around me, let alone anyone, I know he opens up easier with me then anyone else. He's just a very shy and closed person. He says he's used to be rational and not to follow his feelings a lot, and since he met me these things have changed, and he's a bit scared of what he's feeling. He also never says it when I'm with him, that it's bothering him. He writes me mails. When I'm around it's like he doesn't have any doubts at all. When I'm gone he starts thinking about all of it, and way too much in my opinion.