She Cheated on me, to the worst degree.

[allen29]

i was hoping to just get some advice on here. i am new to this site i was browsing the internet looking for something like this where i can let my emotions out to random people and maybe get some replys. My GF of 3 year i found out had been cheating on me for the past 5-6 months. I did end up getting the whole story out of her becuase i told her i wanted to know everything or i was going to ask the guy. she has a picture on his phone of her vagina, she sent to him. they had sex in teh same bed we have sex 2 times. they went camping together and had sex. they did many oral plesures in the car, she said they had sex about 40-50 times.

 

she was telling him she loved him. onetime she was at his place before then she came home and we were about to have sex we were touching each other and so on and i felt she was extremely wet. she later told me she did have sex with him that night. they were having sex without a condom, and they were also into foods with sex like whip cream and so on. they had sex in a shower. So it was pretty harsh. So that is what happend without major details. so im going to tell u a bit about myself. I did everything for this woman kissed her whenever i had the chance like every 2 minutes told her i loved her, bought her lots of things, we always had fun even when this was goign on, i am a very nice and easy going and outgoing guy. I did absoloutly nothing to deserve this.

 

I gave up firends to be with her. Now all my buddies and hers know about the situation and its very hard. She is a very great woman she has amazing personality and great character and very loving. I LOVE HER TO DEATH. i was reading the blogs and i amhaving the exact feelings everyone else is having, im wondering if when we have sex if she was doing the same thing, i get these thought all the time of them having sex, knowing for that period she was not thinking about me or wanting me. she told me honestly she loved me the whole time and she always wanted to be with me. it had just gotten out of hand i guess. I know i did bring her down a lot on here made her seem like a bad person but she isnt and i think maybe she did make a big mistake and she knows it she crys everyday. so do i.

 

it has been about a month and the severity of my hurtfullness and pain and anxiety went from a 11 out of 10 to maybe a 9out of ten. The trust is at zero right now becuase she was lieing to me the whole time telling me she was going places but she wasnt. i think this is the woman for me and i need her in my life. i want all these feelings to go away. so im curious how do i handle this?

 

or has anyone been in this situiation and tryed staying together what happend?

 

maybe we should try talking to a professional?

 

or should i just let he go?

 

please please give me replys i just wann know what someone else thinks i have no one to talk to me about this all my friends are people i cant talk to about this stuff.

[Guest]

i was hoping to just get some advice on here. i am new to this site i was browsing the internet looking for something like this where i can let my emotions out to random people and maybe get some replys. My GF of 3 year i found out had been cheating on me for the past 5-6 months. I did end up getting the whole story out of her becuase i told her i wanted to know everything or i was going to ask the guy. she has a picture on his phone of her vagina, she sent to him. they had sex in teh same bed we have sex 2 times. they went camping together and had sex. they did many oral plesures in the car, she said they had sex about 40-50 times.

 

she was telling him she loved him. onetime she was at his place before then she came home and we were about to have sex we were touching each other and so on and i felt she was extremely wet. she later told me she did have sex with him that night. they were having sex without a condom, and they were also into foods with sex like whip cream and so on. they had sex in a shower. So it was pretty harsh. So that is what happend without major details. so im going to tell u a bit about myself. I did everything for this woman kissed her whenever i had the chance like every 2 minutes told her i loved her, bought her lots of things, we always had fun even when this was goign on, i am a very nice and easy going and outgoing guy. I did absoloutly nothing to deserve this.

 

I gave up firends to be with her. Now all my buddies and hers know about the situation and its very hard. She is a very great woman she has amazing personality and great character and very loving. I LOVE HER TO DEATH. i was reading the blogs and i amhaving the exact feelings everyone else is having, im wondering if when we have sex if she was doing the same thing, i get these thought all the time of them having sex, knowing for that period she was not thinking about me or wanting me. she told me honestly she loved me the whole time and she always wanted to be with me. it had just gotten out of hand i guess. I know i did bring her down a lot on here made her seem like a bad person but she isnt and i think maybe she did make a big mistake and she knows it she crys everyday. so do i.

 

it has been about a month and the severity of my hurtfullness and pain and anxiety went from a 11 out of 10 to maybe a 9out of ten. The trust is at zero right now becuase she was lieing to me the whole time telling me she was going places but she wasnt. i think this is the woman for me and i need her in my life. i want all these feelings to go away. so im curious how do i handle this?

 

or has anyone been in this situiation and tryed staying together what happend?

 

maybe we should try talking to a professional?

 

or should i just let he go?

 

please please give me replys i just wann know what someone else thinks i have no one to talk to me about this all my friends are people i cant talk to about this stuff.

 

I know you have feelings for her and letting go is hard but you can never go back to how things were. Do you imagine tasting his semen now every time you kiss her? That is harsh and brutal but that is the reality of what she did and you have to realize that if you stay with her. Plus if you do stay, what friends you do have left will have no respect for you and will laugh at you. Plus once a cheater, always a cheater. She will cheat again and she and her new sex toy will be laughing about you too. This is frank advice you need to think about. It hurts now but get back with the friends you gave up for her and move on. Staying with her will destroy you.

[LucreziaBorgia]

i think this is the woman for me and i need her in my life.

 

Then you will need to accept her as she is: a woman who will continue to cheat on you for as long as you are in a relationship with her. Do you really want to put yourself at such a physical (who knows how many STD's she has and could pass on to you), mental and emotional risk?

 

I did everything for this woman kissed her whenever i had the chance like every 2 minutes told her i loved her, bought her lots of things, we always had fun even when this was goign on, i am a very nice and easy going and outgoing guy... I gave up firends to be with her.

 

You sound like a nice guy who bent over backward for her, and for a girl like this, "nice guy" equates to "doormat" and she will continue to wipe her feet on you for as long as you let her. Cheaters who get away with what they did, with no consequences will go right out and do it again and again for as long as they can continue to get away with it.

 

Show her the consequences of her actions: she screwed around - she lost you: period.

 

Your best bet is to cut this infection of a woman out of your heart, and try to get your head and heart back together as best as you can. Do not be "friends" with her, do not "be there" for her - simply tell her that it is over, and do not allow her to contact you in any way, shape or form. Do not contact her in any way, shape or form. This solid 'no contact' is the only way you are going to be able to heal from the harm she has done to you.

 

There are plenty of women out there who would be happy to have a guy like you to love and care for them, a girl who won't cheat on you and treat you in such a horrible way - life is entirely too short to be wasting your time on someone like your soon-to-be ex.

[Rooster_DAR]

LucreziaBorgia is righ on target. My recent EX did the same things your girl is doing to you. I never thought my fiance was capable of this, and I guess the real reason I tried to hold on to her was because I had a skewed perception of who I thought she was. When someone cheats on you, it's a betrayal that will continue to reverberate even if the relationship stays together. I also was extremely giving, nice, and attentive and she took advantage of it.

 

Now I've understood that being a nice person and trying to keep the peace is only bad news for a man, it will quickly destroy her respect for you and many women will take advantage of this. I have bounced back and regained my esteem and self respect, and I have many women coming after me now. I say your relationship with this female is pretty much over unless she has a massive change in attitude and is willing to do therapy or something. As for you, if it is over, I recommend taking at least a year off from seeing anybody seriously and understand who you are and what you want. Sometimes it's hard, but you have to be forward and stand your ground like a man.

 

Cheers!

[guin_girl]

or has anyone been in this situiation and tryed staying together what happend?

 

maybe we should try talking to a professional?

 

or should i just let he go?

 

please please give me replys i just wann know what someone else thinks i have no one to talk to me about this all my friends are people i cant talk to about this stuff.

 

Allen,

I have been in a situation where the man that I thought I was going to marry had another FULL relationship simultaneously for 2.5 years. I found out because "she" showed up on my doorstep claiming him (onstar is great to locate a cheater apparently). He felt total remorse and we tried to talk through it for the first month or two, I think it was because I was in total shock and needed to figure out how I was so duped. After the initial shock, I stopped answering his calls, I did tell him that I didn't think I could figure out what I needed as long as I still talked to him, and I joined into a lot of activities, like classes and volunteer work. 6-8 months down the road, he was still calling like he did the whole time, checking in to see if I would answer his call. We decided that we would try again. But it was the WORST mistake! I had absolutely no trust in him. I couldn't get it out of my head what he did, I lost my self esteem and friends didn't want to hear about him anymore, they couldn't believe that I took him back. In the end, believe it or not, he had no respect for me, because I didn't value myself over what he did to me. He told me he felt sorry for me... man did that kick me in the @$$!

 

So in conclusion on my life... I wouldn't advise trying to work it out with her... it wasn't a one night stand, a whoops mistake... it was long term and calculated. For 6 months, she lied to you every single day... remember that... each and every day for 180 days at least.... and probably would continue to be if you didn't catch her. You will question everything she does and says now. It will drive you nuts and you won't be able to get past it. It will drive her nuts... and if you continue to question her about it, she will probably do it again because her thought will be "I might as well since you think I am anyway".

 

You need to break contact with her and move on to someone who will treat you as good as you treated her.

[whichwayisup]

You deserve better. She may love you, but she doesn't respect you.

 

Break up with her...For so many reasons...Sorry for your pain.

[Bryanp]

Move on Now! She has played you for a complete fool and put your health at risk for STD's by not even using protection. She screws her lover in you home and in your bed. She has shown she has absolutely no respect for you whatsoever. For you to even consider staying with her shows that you need individual counseling. I think you would have to be a masochist to stay with someone who did such a thing to you. She has had sex with this guy at least 40 to 50 times in the past 6 months and you want to stay with her? What is wrong with this picture? You are in an abusive relationship and you don't even see it. How sad is this.

[Kinger25]

Hi Allen. I really feel for you. This is a terrible situation to be in and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. You are being extremely brave and are definitely doing the right thing by posting on here. There are some VERY insightful people on this forum who will give you some EXCELLENT advice.

 

My advice would be as the others have said. You really cannot continue this relationship with your GF as it stands. There may be a chance for you in the future but like another poster said, you cannot let her think that she has gotten away this. It will empower her and she will begin to feel as though she has the higher ground over you and your relationship. Her theory will be "well I got away with it once before" when she meets her next victim.

 

I think that you should go Non Contact with her. Finish the relationship whether you want to or not. Move out if you live with her or better still throw her out. My perception on this is that if you do this, she perhaps will begin to understand exactly the consequences of her actions. Once you are gone she will be forced to revel in her own guilt and shame and she will have no choice but to think about what she has jepordised.

 

Strict non contact is the only way in which you may possibly be able to rebuild your relationship with her in the future. If you are strong enough to walk away now you will gain her respect for a start. I know that sounds kind of twisted but she will have respect for your strength of character.

 

You need to heal yourself first. YOU are the number 1 priority now. You need to become at one with yourself again and rid yourself of the demons that infidelity leaves lingering in your soul. Then and only then will you be ready to tackle the possibility of a relationship with her again.

 

The trust is broken and will not return for a long time and even if it does then it will never be the same again. Trust needs to be built up and earnt and she has got a hell of alot of work to do before she earns yours again. If she loves you then she will fight for you. If she doesn't fight then she is not worth it anyway.

 

Good Luck.

[Guest]

She screwed him 40-50 times?! Now you know how many times to hit him in the face with a hammer. Did you know that spitting in someones face is considered assault because of the possibility of contracting a disease. Perhaps what she has done could be considered similarly.

[reservoirdog1]

If you don't have children with her, cut your losses and get out.

 

You deserve to be in a relationship that isn't crippled, where there's genuine love and mutual respect.

 

Do you really want to spend the rest of your life (or a couple more years maybe) wondering if she's cheating again when she's out?

 

There are a lot of far better women in the world, pal. You deserve better. Never forget that. Don't settle for her -- you'll regret it.

[Javelin]

She is not as great a woman as you make her to be. So why do you praise her so?

[Flyin in Clouds]

...

 

... She is a very great woman she has amazing personality and great character and very loving. I LOVE HER TO DEATH. .... she told me honestly she loved me the whole time and she always wanted to be with me. it had just gotten out of hand i guess. I know i did bring her down a lot on here made her seem like a bad person but she isnt and i think maybe she did make a big mistake and she knows it she crys everyday. so do i.

 

You got it bad boy. No hope for you. Love makes people crazy.

 

Reality check.

 

She is NOT a "great character" NOR "very loving" - at least not loving to you.

 

She loves you but she's f*cking some other guy? That's some kind of love buddy. Google the word cuckold... cause if you want to stay with her that's what you are. And all your friends know you're a worthless pussy whipped wimp.

 

i think this is the woman for me and i need her in my life. i want all these feelings to go away. so im curious how do i handle this?

You must really enjoy pain huh. Does it turn you on too when you think of her screwing the other guy?

 

or should i just let he go?

No, no, no man.... here's what you should do.

 

You make like you're really going to forgive her. Convince her you really want her and nobody but her and you'll work hard to make it work....

 

THEN, when things are looking up for her, she comes home of find you in bed screwing her best friend. Or some other hot slut.

 

Cruel? Hey payback is a bitch.

 

please please give me replys i just wann know what someone else thinks i have no one to talk to me about this all my friends are people i cant talk to about this stuff.

Dump her sorry ass....

 

Or choose to be her wimp cucky boy.

 

LucreziaBorgia is right, don't have any further contact with her. Don't even talk to any of her friends or anyone that is even friendly with her. If they are her friend they sure aren't your friend.

 

 

She screwed him 40-50 times?! Now you know how many times to hit him in the face with a hammer.

Yeah, why don't more men beat the crap out of the guy that was messing with their woman? We gotta make shooting the homewreckers legal again.

[Salicious Crumb]

She is a very great woman she has amazing personality and great character and very loving.

 

If she was caring and loving, she wouldn't have been f#@%ing somebody else.

 

Easy decision here.....dump this tramp!!! She is in no way loving or caring...at least not to you. NOBODY does what she did and can claim that she loves you. If she loved you, she wouldn't have been screwing the hell out of another guy.

 

Put her on the street like the trash that she is and move on with your life.

Find someone more trustworthy.

 

The trust is at zero right now becuase she was lieing to me the whole time telling me she was going places but she wasnt. i think this is the woman for me and i need her in my life. i want all these feelings to go away. so im curious how do i handle this?

 

 

No, you do NOT need this "woman" in your life. NOBODY needs a tramp like this in their life unless they enjoy knowing she likes getting banged by another man.

 

How do you handle this and get over the pain? easy...find someone else.

Its that simple. Once you get back in the dating game and find someone, you'll forget about her. And how do you know if the new girl is trustworthy?..you don't ....you just have to take that chance because the only other alternative is to be a bachelor the rest of your life.

 

Trust me...kick her to the curb...you don't need this.

[Salicious Crumb]

She screwed him 40-50 times?! Now you know how many times to hit him in the face with a hammer. Did you know that spitting in someones face is considered assault because of the possibility of contracting a disease. Perhaps what she has done could be considered similarly.

 

Or because of the possibility of contracting HIV, maybe he can have her arrested for attempted murder.

[reservoirdog1]

No, no, no man.... here's what you should do.

 

You make like you're really going to forgive her. Convince her you really want her and nobody but her and you'll work hard to make it work....

 

THEN, when things are looking up for her, she comes home of find you in bed screwing her best friend. Or some other hot slut.

 

Cruel? Hey payback is a bitch.

On the record, don't do this. Then you're just stooping to her level.

 

Off the record.... DO IT.

[samsungxoxo]

Most people keep saying girls go for the bad guys but I guess the same concept can be apply at times: Some guys stay with bitches as well.

 

I guess in both cases, the victim wants what he/she can't have.

 

Anyways to the poster: Please tell me you're not one bit serious of staying with her. Not only did she risk your health screwing the other dude more than 20 times, but she did that in your own house!!!! Damn, talk about total disrespect. I agree on what the other poster say, get rid of that tramp and work on your self-esteem at the same time.

[Sevenmack]

The problem isn't just that she f---ed around on you. That's just the tip of the iceberg. The real problem is that you have been passive throughout all of this and willing to accept degradation on every level just to keep her.

 

Let's be honest here: This isn't the first time she's cheated on you. Chances are that she's been letting guys bust nuts on -- and inside -- her for the entire relationship. She just got caught this time around, largely because she's been careless and you've finally been willing to acknowledge what's going on. It's never that people are good at hiding their dirt; it's that people ignore it until they can't do so anymore.

 

Dumping her is a good step. But that's only the first step. You need to figure out why you continue choosing women like her. And don't say you haven't picked a girl of her kind before; be it sleeping around with other men or just taking you for granted altogether, you've probably been a real doormat when it comes to relationships. This means taking time to analyze yourself, fix your issues and begin choosing women who will treat you decently. You'll just end up with another girl who will f--k around on you with impunity.

[Madeamistake]

On the record, don't do this. Then you're just stooping to her level.

 

Off the record.... DO IT.

 

:lmao:

 

40-50 times? multiply that by your favourite number (and I hope its not 10 or a 100 or something). The answer you get is probably the correct number of times she has screwed the other guy.

 

Anyhow, what's the use of dating a pornstar that is broke (Coz thats your gf right there).

 

Get out now!

[Grinning Maniac]

Al, buddy...what the **** are you doing? Come on now, let's get it together. This girl is rubbing **** all over your face and jabbing red hot knitting needles in your eyes...and you're just begging for more. Be a man already.

 

Someone needs to smack some sense into you. This is not "the girl for you", unless you are a complete pussy who loves being abused and humiliated. She is not the girl for anyone. Well...apart from the guy she's SCREWING AROUND ON YOU WITH.

 

It took me 30 seconds to raise my jaw after reading your post.

 

You definately need to have some "single time" and also see a therapist. You need to try to find out why you are willing to accept such vile and abhorant from any human being, let alone your "girlfriend" (and I use that term lightly). Why on earth do you feel that she's a wonderful girl after what she's done to you? What would be your definition of a terrible girl???

 

DUMP. THIS. BITCH.

 

She does not love you. Trust us on this. You do not do this kind of **** to people who you love. She did not "make a mistake". She screwed this guy 40-50 times! When you make a mistake, you don't go back for more. She went back for lots more. Get a grip and stop being a pussy. Get rid of her and start taking the steps to build some self-esteem. You can do it. Just take the first step!

[DyingHeart]

 

Anyhow, what's the use of dating a pornstar that is broke (Coz thats your gf right there).

 

Get out now!

How true is that, lol.

Seriously, get rid of her. Keeping her around is only going to bring you more pain. It's true, she might love you, but not enough. You sound like a wonderful guy and you desearve better. And I would recommend therapy, not because you're crazy, but because something like this can seriously damage someone. Don't let this slut mess you up for future women in your life that are the real deal. If it was one time, maaaayybe, I would consider forgiving her, but 50 or 60 times? Total disrespect. And like others said, how do you know she wasn't screwing other people besides the person she told you about? And not wearing a condom? Come on. What you were getting was sloppy seconds, and it's disgusting. God, don't let this whore walk all over you and possibly making you sick at the same time.

You say that you love her and she might be the right one for you. Think again. If she was the one for you, she would NOT have done this. Get yourself together and find someone else who is not a tramp.

Best of luck to you.

 

Hugs,

Chrissi

[IaminLove]

Obviously it wasn't just a mistake, because it happened multiple times over months... so please do yourself a favor and break it off with her.. and get tested for STDs if she was having unprotected sex. Cheating is the worst kind of betray.. and just hearing all the details of her cheating would make me want to run far away from her if I were in your shoes.

[mhill143]

hey allen that really sucks...what are you expecting from her? I mean if you could have her do anything to make it up to you what would it be?

[Madeamistake]

Just thought I would add...

 

A buddy of mine has a gf like yours bro (Soon to be ex I hope). She is also a serial cheater. He was patient with the hopes that this girl would change but the change he got was getting a seriuosly scary/terrifying/hectic STD. Apparently, he would bleed when uhe went to the loo, +++. Fortunately he is HIV negative and got treatment for his STD.

 

He says he still loves her though and doesnt know what to do. This reminded me of your case, so I told him to get a bloody grip and leave the relationship - no matter how much he still loves her and all. I forgot to mention that this guy has a child with this girl too.

 

Do you want this happening to you? I doubt it and hope you have broken it off witht his girl. Please give us an update when you get a chance.

 

Good luck.

[dinnerwithdelores]

I cheated on my ex and I'm still fighting to get him back. If you feel that it is worth it then it is your time to call the shots and make her fight for you. If she is not willing to prove that she loves you then let it go. Like I said Im still fighthing to get mine back and he still has not taken me back. Im willing to change but you need to see if she is willing to change. If not screw it.

[Tortured]

Dude - do what I can't - run like hell. This slut (and that is what this bitch is) doesn't deserve someone like you. It isn't you - she is f*cked and f*cked up.

 

I agree with the other poster - you need some serious help. So do I. Get into therapy. Get the HELL away from her - she is a cancer to you. She will rot your heart, self-esteem and life.

 

Cheaters will never change. Screw them.