move to be together - how do i decide?

[mattea]

my b/f and i have been together just over a year. he's a beautiful person and i'm happy and feel lucky to be with him.

 

i just found out that he's been accepted into law school in another state. he's applied to schools here in town, but we don't know yet if he'll be accepted. the school into which he was accepted it by far the best choice for him career-wise. it's a really good school and the area where he'd be living will have a lot more opportunity for internships in the summer and jobs when he graduates.

 

if he's gonna do it, it really would be in his best interest to go to that school, regardless of being accepted into local schools.

 

i'm really happy for him and proud. but now i have this sinking feeling about our relationship. i'm very established where i live. i've been here for 12 years and i love my life here. i know a lot of people and have a huge support network. and i just got a new job that pays very well and is a good opportunity for me. i got the job through a referral of a friend. i was hoping it would help put me through an evening master's program of my own.

 

if he goes away to school and i move with him i have to give up my job and all my friends to live in a very expensive city. he'll be SO busy (i hear the first year of law school is insane) and i'll be spending a lot of time on my own in a city where i know no one.

 

on the other hand, if i stay where i am we'll be in a LDR. but i think it will feel more to me like putting our relationship on hold. i don't imagine he'll be able to visit me much at all if he's that busy, and if i go there he'll have little time to spend with me. at least if i lived there we could at least see each other and talk a little most days, have a quick bite together and sleep in the same bed (whenever he gets to sleep).

 

some people say about an LDR, "well, it's ONLY 3 years". to me that's a long time, but i also don't know if that's true. if he goes to school there and establishes a network there and does internships there, his best chance for a good career will be in staying there.

 

i don't see how our relationship will continue to grow and move forward from over 1000 miles away while he has little time to actually keep in touch.

 

advice? HELP!

[kitten chick]

I can't say I know a whole lot about long distance relationships but I have seen people go through law school and I know how taxing it can be. The first year is so stressful and your boyfriend will probably barely lift his head out of the books whether you move there or not. I guess in my opinion it would be wise of you to keep your life and reassess after the first year.

 

My own personal philosophy is that until there is a ring on my finger (or unless I myself am looking for a change or have found a great opportunity in the same place) I don't drop my life, pick up and move, for a guy.