Patty Posted September 2, 2002 Share Posted September 2, 2002 I feel real guilty about this.I never even told my mother or anyone in my family cause I think they will be ashamed of me.Ok heres what Im trying to say. I been with my boyfriend for 7 years.When I met him I felt really atrracted to him.And was so happy the day he asked me out to a movie.He asked for my phone number and I flipped out ,got back from work told my mother I have a boyfriend now, and she was excited.He looked real good when we first met.His hair was red and long ,I loved it.But now when he comes over to see me I dont feel so atrracted to him like I once did.He has a moustache and when he kisses me I say yes when he says dont you like that.cause i dont want to hurt his feelings.But it doesnt excite me like it first did when I met him.I wish I could have my Indian friend sometimes cause I like his looks and get turned on everytime I think about him and look at his pictures.But I dont seem to get turned on as I did when I met my boyfriend ,like I can with my Indian friend.I think my Indian friend is very sexy. I dream of kissing him and hope he visits to the U.S. one of these days where we can meet.When ever we talk ,we would laugh at the same things have so much fun together,everyday I thought to myself we were definetely meant for each other.All we did was chat.I got tempted and started calling him "honey" cause I couldnt resist .Then he started calling me the same thing.I like my Indian friend very much and hopes he ask me for a date someday. My boyfriend has done things that I now dont think highly of him as I once did.Peeks at my mail ,put pepperoni on my pizza and knew I was vegeatarin or however the word is spelled. I feel guilty for having these daydreams of my Indian friend. How can I feel happy and fall in love again with my boyfriend? Any advice is appreciated . Patty Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted September 2, 2002 Share Posted September 2, 2002 looks to me like you got what you wanted now you dont want it anymore. I don't see why your mom would be ashamed. Anyway, it doesn't seem like you love him. I get that way with guys too. Its bc I have a wall up, I think...dont want to get too close, so I find someone else to lust after. Link to post Share on other sites
honeybee255 Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 i dont think your family would be disappointed in you..they might if you stayed with him and then maybe down the road married him and then said whatnot..You got to go after what your heart desires, because there is no sense in being unhappy. If your other friend makes you happy and you enjoy time spent with him then be with him. But make sure you break it off with bf#1 first..im sure its hard since you been with him for so long, but there is no point in being unhappy with someone your no longer attracted too. Link to post Share on other sites
just_a_girl Posted October 4, 2002 Share Posted October 4, 2002 It definately seems like you have lost you love for this guy. I was recently in a 4 year relationship and felt i wasn't attracted to the guy i was with anymore and disliked some of his ways and actions after such a long period of time. I ended up breaking up with him and going out with another guy i thought was much better, unfortunately for me that didn't work out because the guy thought differently about relationships than me. I am now still single and ofcourse hate being single because i don't have that companionship with anyone anymore (as i did with my long term partner), however i still feel i made the right choice not staying with him. My heart wasn't in that relationship anymore and i would have ended up hurting him and myself alot more if i persisted with it longer. Once you heart isn't in the relationship, it is normally quit difficult to get it back. Goodluck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patty Posted October 4, 2002 Author Share Posted October 4, 2002 I understand what your saying.We always want the oppisite sometimes of what we got.I remember a time when I was single and hated it.Now sometimes I wish I was cause it would leave me open to all options.Being single means you can date anyone in this world even a celebrity if their not taken.But then if I was single like you were saying,I'd probably miss being in a relationship. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patty Posted October 5, 2002 Author Share Posted October 5, 2002 I also feel limited sometimes and feel like Ill miss out too. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted October 5, 2002 Share Posted October 5, 2002 why would you want to stay in a relationship with someone who invalidates your belief system (pepperoni on the pizza) and peeks at your mail? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patty Posted October 5, 2002 Author Share Posted October 5, 2002 Lots and lots of reasons. 1.I have fear of how my family will react. 2.I have fear of how my boyfriend would react. 3.Then if I did give up this relationship,I'd feel bad about it afterwards. I would feel like crap afterwards and felt like I did something terrible. 4.a very hard decision Patty Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted October 5, 2002 Share Posted October 5, 2002 however, a relationship that causes as much distress as it is causing you now, is toxic. don't fear reactions from anyone. when i divorced my second husband lots of people said, "i like him, he's a nice guy" sure...he's a nice guy...but not to be married to. try living with him and trying to negotiate social activities and you 'll want to scream. do what will bring you inner peace, regardless of what everyone says. if someone said to me right now that i could have the life i always dreamed of with "man x" but i considered that person to be a selfish, cold-hearted, narcissitic idiot....i wouldn't do it. sometimes you just need to make a decision and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
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