tine_23 Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Hi! Thanx for reading and letting me know what you think! I really need it... I met this guy at school...I knew he was in my class but never really talked to him...then we started to work together on a thing we had to do for school...he kinda started the whole thing of touching me more and trying to take me in is arms alot more and everything... a week later we kissed and decided we would date and start to know each other more... he told me he did not know if he was ready for a serious relationship and that we would see where this would lead and it was totally ok with me...in the beginning... a month later I started to have more feelings for him so we talked and since he was not in that place yet...we decided to stop seeing each other...after a very mature conversation, we agreed we would continue to talk and be friends juste like before...I mean basically we were never even bf and gf so... so the week after that we meet at school and everything is ok...we joke and it's just like before... but now we go out on wednesday and I'm a little drunk and make the mistake of telling him that I might just need another drink to have the courage to ask him to come back to my house...and he's a bit drunk too...and he tells me he would be better for "us" (more likely for me I guess) if he would not...(I felt a bit stupid since he said no but then I thought it was very nice of him...) ok so the next day we meet again at school and nothing changed...he's nice and sees me across the cafeteria and waves at me... then the same night we go out again with friends at this club and I start dancing with some friends and he's always around cuz we have the same friends...and when I try to joke with him and everything he looks at me with this look....like if he was gonna jump on me and kill me...and all he's been drinking is water... yet he keeps on making jokes and having fun with my friends now this morning I try to talk to him on msn and he doesn't answer...he has never done that... I don't know what to think....I mean I was not that sad that we stopped seeing each other before but now I am since he's weird... why is he acting this way? thanxs for talking with me you guys!!!....I don't understand him...I wish I would... what do you think? tine Link to post Share on other sites
Mythical Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Hey Tine_23, How old are you guys? Im really not too sure why he acted that way that night....I mean he waved to you after the hole drunken incident so maybe something to do with all the friends you hang out with? All I know is you guys definetly should still be able to be friends...you didn't really date, nothing bad happened between you guys and it seems to me you guys have the same friends. Im sure whatever is wrong will pass maybe we was kinda confused? and The MSN thing maybe not available? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Share Posted January 12, 2007 hey mythical! I'm 23 and he's 21... I know the things I talked about may sound childish but sometimes the smallest things bothers us the most! I agree with you that we should be able to stay friends... one thing I did not mention...is we did have sex while we were seeing each other...could it change something? I thought that maybe he was acting this way because he knows I wanted more at the end of our "relationship"...so he might try to make me forget about him...but it makes me question about why he's weird so if that's what he's trying to do and makes me wanna talk to him about it so......it doesn't really work...ahah! My problem may be really small beside others people that about...but...I really would like us to be adults about our situation and stay friends... if he does it again...should I talk to him about it? Link to post Share on other sites
Mythical Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 hey mythical! I'm 23 and he's 21... I know the things I talked about may sound childish but sometimes the smallest things bothers us the most! That is very true I agree with you that we should be able to stay friends... one thing I did not mention...is we did have sex while we were seeing each other...could it change something? It defiently could change something....maybe he just wanted to have that kind of relationship and got afraid because you wanted more? I thought that maybe he was acting this way because he knows I wanted more at the end of our "relationship"...so he might try to make me forget about him...but it makes me question about why he's weird so if that's what he's trying to do and makes me wanna talk to him about it so......it doesn't really work...ahah! My problem may be really small beside others people that about...but...I really would like us to be adults about our situation and stay friends... if he does it again...should I talk to him about it? You just want to be friends with him right? I think if he is still doing this and you are bugged by it let him know thats all you want. Like yo said he is prob afraid cause he thinks you will be coming back for a relationship. If this is going to just be a friends with friends kind of relationship i think maybe just leave it alone it hasn't been long he will get the impression eventually that you want too just be friends too! Ok and if I misunderstood and you still do want a relationship with him DEF talk to him and let you know how you feel, you guys all hang togtether so if you are wanting to be with him I don't think it would be too easy to keep silent!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 12, 2007 Author Share Posted January 12, 2007 I only wanna be friends because I know he doesn't want more... it hurts me that he acts like he's mad.... well not really like he's mad...but like when I try to make a joke (which he used to like) he looks at me like...I'm stupid or something... it hurts...he didn't do that even like monday...and we were not seeing each other anymore... anyway! thanx mythical! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 13, 2007 Author Share Posted January 13, 2007 hey I'm back! hihi! I talked to him just this afternoon about why he was acting weird since wednesday...and he told me that he thinks I've changed and that I'm always partying since friday and that it looks like I have something to proove...and that I was not like that last semester...and then I ask him if that's why he was weird and he says no...if it bothers him that I'm making new friends and he says no...then what's the deal? oh and also while we were talking he said...people think you've changed...and I'm like...what people...and all he said was...well...me! Why is he accusing me of changing? thanxs tine Link to post Share on other sites
Mythical Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Hey Tine!!, My opinion on this situation changed, I mean its hard to totally understand what exactly is going on from what I can hear but actually!, this is EXACTLY how my ex of 4 years has acted since we broke up. ok....I broke up with him and he is still wanting to be with me. He was extremely hurt by it, I am still friends with him becuase I know him so well but he is jealous of everything I do if I go out, make new friends, are socialzing a lot......his NUMBER ONE thing to say to me is "you've changed" so much since we broke up I don't even know you. It almost seems as though he is so mad about what happened that he absolutely hates me and the thaught of me having a seperate life. Its like anything I do he will put down completely!! Its either weird or corny in some kind of way...just like when you were joking around This totally might not be the case but when i read your last post it seems like that could be it too. Im not positive but just thaught id share that with you because I don't think there are a lot of other reasons someone would be "jealous" of you meeting new people etc.... HOpe you figurered out more!! Link to post Share on other sites
JCD Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 He is jealous because you don't pay him as much attention as before and you seem to be all happy and he is miserable. So he's also envious of you. My guess is that he loves you but does not know if he is able to commit to you. My suggestion is for you two to date so he will fall in love with you and then will commit to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 Oh my JCD! I wish it was that easy!... but i don't think he would wanna date again... I'm the one who asked him where we were going and he said that since he was not ready to commit to me... it was better for us to part because if we continued to see each other... i would get hurt since he is not ready to commit... I don't see how I could get him to be interested in me again... he already acts like he's not anymore and he's more friendly with my friends... I feel stupid when he does that...like... I'm next to him but it's like if I'm not he jokes with my friends...and not me...and when I say something funny or weird...he says "mean" things... one thing he did say while we talked about us was that he knows he is not ready to commit yet... it's not like he's affraid of it...he wanna have fun...he's young (and I understand that...) and he knows he's being a "player" sometimes with his girl friends...even thought he likes me... and that he knows it will eventually go away... he's having fun! but hey dude! I won't wait for you all this time you know...that's also why we decided to stop seeing each other... I told him he cannot have the cake and eat it too... I miss him thought... I mean I'm ok...i've been more miserable...but when I think of our times together i miss the fun we had...it was the first time in my life i was that confortable with a man...singning in the car...and not beeing shy about it...and I never felt prettier then when he hold me and everything... some little things... I do think he might have been a bit jealous that I was having fun and that he "was not!" It was obvious that I was having more fun...all he drink all night was water...ahah just kidding... I wish me and him could still talk but, aside from school (where he's really nice and acts all funny when I'm around), he doesn't talk... and even thought he says yes to us going climbing for example...when I talk to him about it a week later...all of a sudden he doesn't want to.... I wish I could be Mel gibson in what woman wants...except the man version! This morning I was kinda mad at him for acting the way he does and I was not as friendly as I usually am with him and after class we saw him and he came to me and asked me if what was going on and if I was mad (twice in 5 minutes)...and if it was him? and why and what I was doing this afternoon and everything...I mean...if he really would not care...would have he come up to me to ask me why I was acting weird?... Hey mythical! I think it might be a possibility...I talked about it with my dad...we're really close and he's really good at figuring out people ahah!... he said it certainly made him a little mad to see you were having that much fun without him and maybe he didn't think you would go on with your life so easily...and it hurted him but he won't admit it!!! maybe he doens't even realize it...! maybe he didn't realize that you could make new friends and meet new people...and that you could eventually meet somebody else...maybe he thought that you would wait for him... if he did really affect him that I was having this much fun...because he was a bit jealous... it makes me mad to think about it...not because he told me that he thinks "i've changed" but because if it really did affect him...that means me might have feelings for me...but I can't have him...it gets me out of myself! I WANT HIM!!! DAMN! when we broke up he said he was not as attached to me as I am to him...and made it sound like he was not attached to me at all... I mean how can that be? HE'S the one who wanted to meet my mom and then later that week he came over to my house and met my dad and he wasn't shy to hold me around them... I mean... was he really that not into me or does he just wanna hide it?... I love my dad!!! ahah! you guys are really great with all your suggestions...I really appreciate it...it really helps me to talk about it with you...I'm feeling better everytime... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 so.... here I am again! went out last night with 2 of my girl friends...had lots of fun...and man! he did it again!...trying to mess with my head! I was dancing with one of his hockey team mate....and 1 or 2 times when we were dancing together, "my ex" came and tried to dance with us "as a joke" I suppose (kinda like doing a sandwich...of course i was the meat ahah!)...and since "my ex" was often around cuz we have the same friends...when he would come around and I'd be dancing with Nick (the other guy) he'd try to dance with my good friend (again always as if it's a joke...he always made it look like he was joking around)...of course she didn't want to... I mean... it's almost as is he was doing it on purpase...to try to make me jealous... I wish he would... I so hope he was jealous... He was nice to me last night... he joked with me a bit and we talked a very little bit...he also tried to dance with me (as a joke always )...it only lasted like 10 seconds everytime...but still... This morning he was nice with me also (even my girl friend noticed...) which I appreciated...but yet he's still making mean jokes sometimes...and I hate it... He's been asking one of my girlfriends to do something together like twice this week...of course she said no... I mean! How stupid can he be to ask one of my girlfriends to do something with him...like a movie or something? Doesn't he know she's gonna tell me! DUH! Doesn't he know she's not gonna wanna??? DUH! Again...It's almost as if he's doing it on purpase... again... I wish he would... When he was trying to dance with me yesterday I was totally freaking out...I mean it's one thing dancing with a guy you don't really care about... but when "my ex" touched me I almost lost it... I knew I could seriously loose it if he touched me or danced close to me...I tried to push him away everytime he was trying (joking around) to dance with me.... I miss calling him baby... I almost called him that last night... and I miss holding his hand...and giving him little kisses every now and then... I miss him leaning toward me to kiss me everytime we had to leave each other for a while ...he was always the first to lean foward... i miss him... he's weird and young and hard to follow sometimes... but I miss my weirdo! tine Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 21, 2007 Author Share Posted January 21, 2007 we studied together this afternoon.... we had fun! seriously...and we talked alot about all sorts of stuff.... his family and mine, his hockey training and everything... we are even going to go do our groceries together next week! I'm so happy!...we're just being friends...but for now if we can keep on having that much fun...it's allright with me...!!! I noticed that sometimes when we were working I would look up and he would be looking at me....it was nice ahah!! tine Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 ok ...here I am again... for those who have read the other posts...you know that me and my "ex" are still friends and I guess you could say very good friends...we went grocery shopping together and studied together all day long on saturday...he talks to me about his family and some things that bothers him anyway.... a little refresh...we stopped dating because I wanted us to be bf and gf and he was not there yet.... anyway....now this week he's been acting "weird" with me.... we ended things before we started school....that was 3 weeks ago...and since then he was kinda weird ( see other posts)...then this week end we saw each other again and everything and now he's often touching me again...or calling me baby once or twice... or even today i was in front of him talking to a friend and he came behind me and took me in his arms...in front of everyone... i thought it was weird.... do you think he might be playing with me??? or maybe he's still interested in me but still doesn't want to be in a relationship.... I don't understant... thanx Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 I heard yesterday he had a date last night....and that NOW he's looking for a relationship?...what the ****...he didn't want one 2 weeks ago!! WHAT THE F??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 27, 2007 Author Share Posted January 27, 2007 Hey! still me! I talked to his best girlf friend we really doubt he's doing this for the good reasons... he's friend told me she told him he was starting to have the repuation to be a jerk... and 2 days later he tells her he'd like to have gf... weird! I told him I was really sad that he decided to be in a relationship NOW and not 2 weeks ago.... he kept saying he didn't have to explain himself ( I didn't ask) and that he did not have a gf yet and that it would'nt be anytime soon (again I didn't ask)... so I decided to do the no contact thing... even thought I HAVE TO see him on mondays and wednesdays at school...I told him I ain't gonna talk to him or smile, or even say hello...and that it was better for me... he said he understood, gave me a little kiss on the cheek and left... that was on thursday... now today I was at school studying with my guy friend... and he arrived and sat like a table apart from us... I started shaking I swear! didn't feel good at alll... so like 2 minutes later I told my friend let's go.. and we left.... of course my ex knows it's because of him.... I deleted him from my phone, and my msn... only kept pictures hidden somewhere in my computer... Everytime we had a argument I was always the first one to call him or talk to him the first time again... so he thinks this time I'm gonna quit my nc thing really quick... i'm having the hardest time handling this... I know I'm doing this for myself but I also hope (I know I should not) that he will come and see me one day asking why can't we be friends again?... that he misses me... as a friend... we had so much fun as friends... I miss him... today a friend of mine asked me to study with her for this test we have on monday and then she asked if it's ok if X comes with us... cuz he asked her and told her he wad some things he didn't understand for the test on monday... I told her I don't know if I could handle it and why...she told me she understood and would rather study with me then with him... so she told him she was already doing something with me... Now I feel so bad cuz he kinda needed help to study and I didn't want him to be there... I could not have handle it... any tips on how to keep the nc thing going? thanxs tine Link to post Share on other sites
Lova Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 While ur at scool go 2 him qad ask why he hasnt responded 2 ya calls and everythin dont b shy and let out ur feelins tell him u like him and c if he wants 2 go on a actuall date get 2 know each otha just b patiant. gd look Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Just keep doin what you're doin... NC is the only way to go, and kudos for you to realize that and stick to your guns. Meanwhile, try to meet other guys. When you start making new friends and hopefully go on dates...you'll come to the realization that there are so many people out there who suit you better. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author tine_23 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hey! I'm back! Been doing the nc thing for 5 days now... man I'm good! ahah! I find it so hard.... Since I decided to not talk to him anymore...untill he talks to me or untill I don't have feelings for him anymore... and untill I'm cool with him seeing other girls... it still hurts thinking of him kissing some other chick... I'm really proud of myself for sticking to what I told him I would do...not talking or looking at him...not even smiling... I saw him on saturday night...he was at this pub I was to watch the hockey game (yeah I'm a gurl and I like to watch hockey... how can a guy not like me? ahahah just kidding!) ...well didn't talk to him... I saw him on monday...he was in my class sitting right behind me...didn't look or talk to him.... I saw him today at school during our break... didn't talk to him either... he was so handsome... arggg it's killing me! any tips to help me be repulsed by him? ahahah tine Link to post Share on other sites
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