how do i play this one?

[yes]

hi!

 

Situation:

a girl i know met a guy at a club & they exchanged phone #s. then a week after that, i met him at a club (the other girl was there too), and he was dancing w/ me & asked me for my number... i gave it. he called, we went out dancign - a bunch of my friends came along, including the girl i mentioned.

 

now, all that's fine. he called me again & asked if i wanna go out for dinner or movie or both... i said that day isnt good for me, suggested another day, wan't good for him, then finally found a day good for both of us - dinner & go dancing.

 

after that, he brings up my friends. he tells me this one's nice, im like yeah, she is. Then he mentioned the girl who gave him her # -saying that he lost her # while he was moving to a new place (didn't lose mine though! ) ... Anyway - after that he said he's going to think of a way to ask for it again! - this is what I don't know how to take. Why would he tell me he's going to ask her for her number again??

 

One thing i gotta mention is that he's a professional dance instructor, and perhaps she needs lessons. The thing is that when they met, he gave her his business card; but when he asked for my number, he didnt gimme his card, saying that he's moving and the number will change. So, POSSIBLY, he wants to offer her lessons.

 

When when all three of us - that girl, me, him are in the same club, he dances w/ both of us ... i guess more with me than with her. also, he'll take me out of the club just to go for a walk every now -n then - and she obviously sees this.

 

ALso, he says stuff like - it's up to you - if u wanna get together w/ me - that's cool, but if u don't - okay, i'm okay. What's that for? Sounds on the verge of rude to me.

 

I asked a friend of mine about this - and she said that her impression is that he liked that other girl, but when he met me, he sort of switched over to me.

 

What do you people think? Should I see him? (he said he'll call back to finalize plans - like time, etc.)

 

I feel liek i wanna see him & play the game. Stay cool, - we're not exclusive, obviously, - and just see what he'll do. Bad/good idea?

 

Oh, also, he's about 30 y.o. - not a young boy here.

 

Thanks in advance.

 

-yes

[Tracey]

I have been in this situation before and please believe me when I say you should GET OUT NOW! This guy is obviously a player and if you continue to let him see both of you it will only end in heartbreak and possibly the end of your friendship with this girl. NO GUY is worth that, even if he is a great dancer with a hot body. If you are prepared to share this loser around, then that's fine but when you start to get closer to him it will be harder to see him go after other girls. To be honest I don't know why you gave your number out to him in the first place if you already knew he had exchanged numbers with your friend. Even if he did "change his mind", as you say, that's pretty disrespectful to her, don't you think? He sounds like a complete sleaze to me. I think it is naive of you to think that the only reason he wants to call her is to arrange "dancing lessons"; he probably gets off on the fact that he has two young girls after him. And that's another thing: for a 30 year old he sounds very immature. And what's with discussing other girls he's interested in in front of you?? He is either very manipulative or very stupid.

 

Having been through the wringer with playboys myself, my advise is to continue to be friends with him. Obviously you enjoy his company and he is probably a pretty cool guy. But don't let yourself get emotionally involved because believe me the charm doesn't last long. I guess it all depends on what you want. If you are happy to just meet up with him every now and then while he pursues other girls on the side then go for it. But don't fool yourself into believing that he will eventually become a one-woman man because he sounds like a professional sleazebag.

 

Whatever you decide, good luck! Keep me posted.

[yes]

thanks for the advice

 

to clarify, i didnt know he exchanged #s w/ her when I gave him my number.

 

Also, she isn't my friend, just an acquintance. i help teach the dance lessons she took over the summer, that's how we met. so no friendship ruined.

 

i was quite disappointed with this conversation, so no emotional attachment here, i don't think. I think i'll see him a bit, just out of curiosity. i wonder if he's that stupid, or rlly a player...

 

thanks,

-yes

[Ally Boo]

I think the whole dance lessons thing is a crock too.

[velvet]

No way! Wouldn't date one unless is was just pure raw sex involved with no strings attached, which I am not into.

 

Now, I'm sure there are the down to Earth kind of guys who would like to meet a nice girl to be exclusive with. Those guys are very much hard to find. I would guess that in the last six months I have gone out with the girls clubbing, I've only met (1)!!!! (1) guy that would be willing to date exclusively. Don't get me wrong, I know plenty couple at the clubs but they all (all) sleep around.

 

Its not a place to met companions. I only do the club scene for the hardcore party's, dancing and fabulous clothing I can wear. I meet guys but I don't spend time knowing them outside the scene. They are fun to party with, and thats about it.

[yes]

okay, perhaps clubbing is a bad scene to meet men

but where else do you meet 'em?

i'm at college, yes, but i much prefer guys who are older, like in their late 20s, and those are already done studying.

 

thanks for the warning though... i will watch out w/ guys i meet @ clubs =)

 

-yes

[velvet]

I couldn't tell you were you will find Prince Charming. If your looking for just someone to spend some time with without getting emotionally involved, than the club scene is prime for that.

 

Doctors, lawyers, scientists? I guess you would have to poke your eye out, brake a law or find a cure to meet one of these awesome people.

 

I honestly don't know. All I can say is look your best where ever you go. You might just meet him at the grocery store, while pumping gas or checking the mailbox!

 

I believe we have more luck at finding a high class love opposed to a player somewhere least expected than over a gamemaster club.

[floresle]

Okay,

I'm going to defend my fellow guy friends from all over the world. If you think he's a playboy, then don't be with a playboy. All guys want one thing, (Including older men). But after that, all guys are not the same. We all have different personalities and love different things.

 

My advice is this: Ask him what he wants as far as relationships is concerned, how does he perceive you, and tell him what you want.

 

I think he really enjoys your company. If he's single, LADIES, DON'T GET MAD IF SINGLE MEN WANT TO TALK TO DIFFERENT WOMEN! That's how this game of dating is all about.

 

If he told you that he was going to ask that other woman for her number, then I'm pretty sure he might not want to do anything then maybe teach her how to dance.

 

I don't know of any guy that would tell a girl he is digging that he wants to get another girl's number.

 

But do ask him what he is looking for. Or even if he is looking. If he's not, then it's up to you on what you want. Be honest, I'm pretty sure he's mature enough to tell you the truth.

 

Disagree? i want to hear it.

[Tracey]

Well floresle, I must say I disagree with you on certain things. It's true that all guys want sex, and that they just go about getting it in different ways (ie marriage v. paying a hooker). I think it's safe to assume that this guy would be part of the latter crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with that! It just means that he isn't one of those individuals that girls should be completely trusting of. By this I mean that he is likely to lie if yes asks him directly what his intentions are. I think it's pretty obvious from his actions; he likes the attention he is getting from these girls and wants to play around. She doesn't need to ask him anything; she just has to sit back and observe, then make her own decisions. He is DEFINATELY not "mature" enough to be truthful - I mean, what kind of 30 year old is still hanging around the club scene anyway?? If yes tries to have a conversation with this guy it is likely that he will just think she is trying to get him to commit to something, and if she wants any kind of relationship with him this isn't the smart thing to do. Well that's my response anyway. I wouldn't have bothered only you said you wanted to hear from anyone who disagreed...

[yes]

i'm too curious, so i'm going to sit back and observe, like tracey puts it.

 

i'll break out of it if i feel like im getting attached. but right now, it's just a game.

 

i asked him if he'd like me to get that girl's # for him if i see her, and he said yes! haha.

 

im also thinking that it's okay that he is openly "dating around".

well - so am i. he wanted to take me out on a certain day, and i turned him down, and he figured it's cuz im going out w/ some other guy (really, it was just friends).

 

anyway, i'll just play. i dont have a man i'd wanna be serious with in sight, so why not. i don't think i'll have any "talks" with him though - i'll just watch... =)

 

thanks again for all your comments. it's appreciated.

 

-yes