After NC she contacted me -need

[perfectescape]

At the end of September my girlfriend started to act strange and after a 2 year relationship she broke up with me...I'm almost 44 and she is 40...

It certainly was my fault due to the fact that I was not there for her many times during the relationship... I know that she loved me very much when she broke it off, but told me that we weren't on the same page...I suspected

that she may have met someone else and later on she admitted it....During the first 2.5 months, I emailed, texted and left voice messages at least 15 times telling her that I love her and want to work things out...During

that time she failed to respond back to any of my messages..

Then around the end of November, I saw her online and IM'd her and she couldn't wait to tell me that she met someone else and things were GREAT...She then said she had to go and logged off without saying goodbye...I had my answer to why she failed to contact me...Since

I had my answer, I started NC and stopped all the one

way communication with her...However around a month after I stopped one way communications, I received a text message wishing my family and I happy holidays...I didn't respond to the text since she didn't ask for a response...That was two weeks ago and I haven't heard from her since...

 

So I'm hoping that you can help me with my questions..The

first one being 1) why she would even text me in the first

place? Secondly, my birthday is at the end on January

2) so how do I handle a second page if it occurs...Please

remember that I love her and want her back...

[chryssy83]

The happy holidays message could have been sent to a bunch of people, not just you (just a thought).

 

I think if she sends something for your birthday and you want to respond with a quick "thank you" it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. BUT...let's say she doesn't respond back again. Will you be upset? Will you start thinking maybe she didn't get it and you should resend? Will you obsess about whether you just heard the alert tone on your phone?

 

If you can't deal with the possibility that she may not contact you again if you reach out to her, you shouldn't make the contact at all.

[demilde]

The happy holidays message could have been sent to a bunch of people, not just you (just a thought).

 

I think if she sends something for your birthday and you want to respond with a quick "thank you" it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. BUT...let's say she doesn't respond back again. Will you be upset? Will you start thinking maybe she didn't get it and you should resend? Will you obsess about whether you just heard the alert tone on your phone?

 

If you can't deal with the possibility that she may not contact you again if you reach out to her, you shouldn't make the contact at all.

 

it is a tricky one; if one is normally polite then the normal reaction to receiving a gift/card is to respond politely. Why should you change that. I would respond if that is what you would normally do to a friend, but just make it as if they were just another friend.

[D-Lish]

the whole "I've met someone else and I'm happy" is a bitchy way of saying I've moved on...while throwing it in your face.

 

sounds mean.

let her go.

[amazed9]

im going with the other comment she prob. just texted everyone i do it all the time an then say oh **** didnt want to send it to that person. However she might have just sent it to u to see what ur reply would be. Im thinking she wants to still ensure she can still have u., BUT IF U TRULEY WANT HER BACK JUMP THROUGH THE HOOPS IF THATS WHAT U WANT !

[Nanachu]

As discussed in this site, NC works for the confused love and the love which are sleeping (you can possibly wake them up by NC). However, if the love is truly gone, NC cannot do much as many of have should have tons of ex in the past that we do not think about even though we are in NC....

 

This is my opinion, but I feel that she is truly gone because:

- she is old enough (not like 17 years old reacted emotionally to one stupid minor issue)

- she seems to have spent a quite long time of thinking about break-up (2.5 months, you have noticed... It could be longer). Her decision does not sound like being made by emotional spontenous feeling, rather by long serious thinking.

- you guys had been together for a quite long time, there seems to be not too much misunderstanding of each other.

 

She was unhappy with some issues, have been patient, was hoping that you may change some day, realized that you will not, thought for a long time about break-up, and came to her conclusion. The holiday message could be coming from a simple friendship, politeness.

 

I have dated a guy for 5 years. He had a big issue and I was patient for the last 3 years. I broke up with him in August 2006. He has been begging to get back together. My love for him is completely gone. I met a great guy after him, but he broke up with me. I am alone now, but never consider going back to the guy of 5 year relationship.

 

"Hate = hard feeling" is right next to love. "Indifferent = no interest" is the opposite to love. I sent my ex (5 year one) a casual merry x'mas and happy new year emails, but did not for the guy after because I do not feel anything to the guy (5 year) and still have strong feeling for the guy after....

 

I could be wrong, but you may want to move on for yourself.

[gfto]

1) why she would even text me in the first

place?

Because you went NC, which tweaked her ego. She just wanted to see if you would come chasing after her again.

 

2) so how do I handle a second page if it occurs...Please

remember that I love her and want her back...

Don't. Get a new girlfriend.