Temper

[Delia]

I just had the whole house recarpeted and my dog threw up on it right in front of me. I yelled very loudly at her telling her no. My fiance got upset and told me that I should not have yelled at her because carpet is replaceable and feelings are not. Understandable, but I was upset because it is 2,000 on my credit card that I am no where near even getting paid off. He just moved in w/ me and his stuff is everywhere so we are both stressed. He told me that he does not feel like my house is our house! How can I help that to occur. Thanks. I was mad though and did not hit her or anything just yelled no at the top of my lungs! Of course she then proceeded to barf 3 more times. Thanks.

[quankanne]

the good news is, if that dog already has bonded with you, she's gonna love you no matter what. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, has a longer reach into his cache of memory and will remember that you yelled at the dog and will probably find a way to throw that into an argument, that you yelled at a harmless puking pooch (that's just human nature).

 

maybe it's time to just talk everything through, help him to understand that you are happy to have him there with you in your house, but that it's going to take some time adjusting to a new situation. Once he sees that it's not really him or you, just the newness of it all, he'll more than likely be less stressed, and that might just help you become less stressed.

[velvet]

You have plenty of time to get know each other now. Usually people would get to know each other and their living conditions prior to living together.

 

I walk out the room at the first sign of anyone raising their voice for any reason because whats done is done. The dog vomited on the carpet and it could not have been avoided so whats done is done. Raising your voice only created a tense atmosphere for you guy, the dog and yourself. The dog could not help itself, therefore was only frightened by the tone of your voice. The dog will not learn to not vomit on the carpet no matter how much you yell at it for the remainder of its life.

 

Basically yelling didn't accomplish anything but some very short term relief for your soul. You put money, time and energy into the new carpet and you got angry, thats understandable. Everybody needs to shout now and than.

 

Just remind yourself next time that what cannot be avoided and what you have no control over isn't worth upsetting yourself and the loved ones your with. You all have feelings and they shouldn't be selfish, self indulging feelings that will upset the people around you.