naiveme Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Hi, Bit of background here. I'm a guy in my mid 20s still living with parents but drive 1.5 hours to work every day and the same back - 3 hours in total. Now I can see this having an affect on my life as I can often be quite tired all the time. But there are other issues. I am pretty sure I need to make the break and move closer to work and rent my own place. But I am not finding it that simple to do. I cannot understand why because I do not even go out when I am at home, and have no friends in my home town. I just come home from work and stay at home all the time - weekend is the same - all day at home. All the friends I do have are online and live nowhere near me. My only concern really I suppose is leaving parents as they are my only physical and emotional connection with my town. Basically I suppose all I am looking for is advice on making this break and living alone (I do not think sharing is an option as I do know anyone and I could only live with someone I got on with). I see it as a big step and just need some kind of reassurance it will work. Generally I am not happy with life because I do not have close by friends either. There is no real hope of developing genuine friendships with people in my town (it is a small area and I do not really fit in and kind of out of the loop so to speak). It may be possible to develop friends in a new area but I am kind of concerned I will just turn into a hermit in a new town (but without parents so be totally alone). I do not know if I have the confidence or self esteem to go out and make that friends. I am not really sure. If I did start to make friends at least I would have a place of my own to invite friends to - share a few drinks and catch a movie, watch the sport etc which I cannot do at parents. Does anyone have any tips advice on making the break and living alone for the first time? Or more specifically on my 'issues' in relation to it? Thanks very much for reading this and any advice/input is greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 My only concern really I suppose is leaving parents as they are my only physical and emotional connection with my town. Can you ask your parents for help? Maybe you can get a handle on how excited or depressed they will be to see you trying to fend for yourself. If you make the move, you can always hang with them on weekends. I'm not saying you will do it every weekend, or for the rest of your life, but it might be a neat mind trick to make you more comfortable with the idea of your own pad. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 I'm 32 years old and am finally living on my own for the very first time. I should have done this much younger, before ever getting married, and I strongly recommend this for anyone who's still living at home. Live on your own first before you ever live with any one else. I know you must be full of anxiety over the unknown, but the answers to all your questions can be answered easily. You are in charge of your own actions and if you dont want to be a hermit, then dont live as one. If you get stuck and need help, i'm sure your parents and family will be glad to help! Living on your own is not as scary as you might think, and there's ALWAYS people around who can help you. Even strangers are always ready to do a good deed and help out whenever you can. You'll be surprised how generous people are. And like magic says, living on your own doesnt mean you have to abandon your family and never see them again. You'll be back often, usually doing laundry lol Atleast that's what I do If you can, have your family help you look for a new apartment. They'll be able to give you some tips to look for, and they'll be more comfortable with you leaving if they know where you are going and what the area is like. Especially if they know what the landlord is like. Dont be scared. This is an exciting time for you and it will be a really rewarding experience, very liberating when you realize that you can manage a lot on your own and if you are ever stuck, you know how to get help. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 There is nothing like independance, if it is on your mind then I think that you should follow through on this, Do you date, do you have a love interest? How can you be alone with them if you are living at home? Once you are out and on your own you will seek out friendships and be more outgoing, it is not healthy to not have personal contact. I think that you should go for it, you never know until you try right? Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Great advice from dgiirl and pricillia. Living on your own is not as scary as you might think, I'm scared of the dark, and I couldn't survive without my night light. http://tinyurl.com/wvmhe But you get used to the voices calling your name. Things will be just fine - really. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Great advice from dgiirl and pricillia. I'm scared of the dark, and I couldn't survive without my night light. http://tinyurl.com/wvmhe But you get used to the voices calling your name. Things will be just fine - really. Nice night light Magic.... I have one as well Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 I'm scared of the dark, and I couldn't survive without my night light. http://tinyurl.com/wvmhe see you found solutions to your fears If you cant do a specific thing, there's always an alternative solution. My ex use to be in charge of buying heavy items, like kitty litter, or 18L water bottles. I'm not strong enough to carry these items, so now that I'm on my own, I find alternative solutions, either buying smaller items or buying dollys to carry the items When I cant open a jar and need extra strength, instead of using my ex, I now have this little gadget that opens tight jars for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author naiveme Posted January 13, 2007 Author Share Posted January 13, 2007 Hi thanks for all the advice so far. Can I ask something though are you all female? I cannot remember where I read this but it seems that women where more likely to seek the independence of their own place as opposed to guys. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted January 13, 2007 Share Posted January 13, 2007 Hi thanks for all the advice so far. Can I ask something though are you all female? I cannot remember where I read this but it seems that women where more likely to seek the independence of their own place as opposed to guys. well I know that you are not asking about me... but yes I am a girly Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 Hi thanks for all the advice so far. Can I ask something though are you all female? I cannot remember where I read this but it seems that women where more likely to seek the independence of their own place as opposed to guys. Yes i'm female and I didnt seek independence until it was forced upon me I'm not really sure how this question relates to your original question tho. At a certain point, everyone, male and female, needs to move out and live on their own. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 The British rule when it comes to comedy. You have a long, long way to go before you end up like this, haha. http://tinyurl.com/y2zzqj One step at a time. You just need to get a grip (and I don't mean on dgiirl's tight jars). Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 I cannot remember where I read this but it seems that women where more likely to seek the independence of their own place as opposed to guys. It's a real shame that Alpha's not still around. That dude was an expert at citing references. Link to post Share on other sites
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