LaurenKik Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 If a guy is playing a girl, has no feelings for her, ect. What lengths do you think a man would go to, to 'keep' her around? (I.E. buying her stuff, taking her places, going to visit his family, letting her move in with him, making future plans, going away for the weekend, ect) Do any of you have any insight to that? Also-WHY would a man do so much for someone he's 'playing' & not just go & find someone else to 'use?' I just don't understand.......... Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 if he's doing all that stuff & he's exclusive with u, it doesn't sound like he's "playing", ya know. why do u think he's just 'playing'? i think the best way to check if a man is playing is precisely to see how far he'll go - how long he'll stick around w/out you sleeping with him, how hard he'll try to convince you what an awesome guy he is, etc... obviously this is no guarantee - he may be just obsessed with getting you in the sack or something... but if he's already got u, and still treats great, then there you go - all is well =) just some thoughts, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
LaurenKik Posted September 3, 2002 Share Posted September 3, 2002 Hi Yes, thank you for that insight =) He says he's exclusive, but I've had my doubts. I get various 'point of views' from all kinds of friends, relatives, co-workers, ect about this topic. Mostly from guys, cuz this IS a guy question =) I would say more than %50 of the guys I've asked have said that most guys they know would do most of those things to keep a good piece of @$$.... All but the moving in part. They have all said that having a girl that they are 'playing' move in, is just too, too much. The other guys who don't fall into that category say that most of that is just too, too much, they said that they might take them out a few times & spend a little $$ on them, but not any of that other stuff. Now, I tend to agree with the latter. Why would a guy spend that much effort on someone who doesn't mean anything to him? Maybe that's because I've never 'played' anyone before. So I'm just wondering how everyone else feels/thinks about this topic..... Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted September 4, 2002 Share Posted September 4, 2002 Is it, "do these things mean what they seem to mean on the surface, or should I be questioning what he's really about?" That's what it sounds like to me. Guys and girls are equally capable of giving signals that they're more interested than they really are, or that they care more than they really do. Your question is about a specific set of circumstances with a specific guy. I think you'll get more satisfying answers by addressing the situation vis a vis him, rather than some broad generalization that supposedly applies to all guys. So what's his deal? Some guys go overboard with affection & generosity, etc. because they like to, others because they're insecure and think that it's the only way to get & keep a woman, and still others because they're trying to compensate for a lack of feeling and hoping to jump-start it by being over-the-top. There are many other reasons too, I'm sure. You seem to assume he's playing you, and maybe he is. If that's what you think, I'll bet there's more than just his bending over backwards that has alerted you. What else points to the possibility that he's playing you? Is your guy generally effusive and melodramatic about other things? If so, maybe you've simply got a genuine romantic on your hands. There's just no way to know for sure, unless you ask him. But first, ask yourself this: what about his behavior makes you uncomfortable? Is it the sense that he's trying to cover up something (bad behavior, lack of real feeling for you)? A generous, enthusiastic partner shouldn't automatically trigger alarm, should he? My advice is to figure out more specifcally what it is that makes you uneasy about all of this, and then try to address it with him. Link to post Share on other sites
floresle Posted September 4, 2002 Share Posted September 4, 2002 That's a good answer. I'm going to give my three cents in this. If this guy is playing you, there should be hints that he is. Guys are the worst players. Very few will never get caught. One way you can test him is to ask him where your relationship will go and pressure him a little. If he runs, then he's not right for you. If he gives in into some but not all of what you asked of him, then he might not be playing you. He might actually care for you. Another way to find out, is to ask your friends of what they think. Sometimes it's better to ask someone that can see your relationship from the outside. I hope this helped a little...if any females disagree with me, let me know. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted September 6, 2002 Share Posted September 6, 2002 is stop asking everyone their opinion. it will make you nuts. keep your own counsel. trust your gut and your instincts. just make sure his actions matches his words. if he professes love, but you can never seem to reach him...that's an example of an inconsistency. watch for the inconsistencies. the advice you get from some people may be tainted with envy. so be careful. the relationship is between the two of you - keep it that way - and you won't go wrong. if you are meant to be together...that's how it will end. if not, then learn what you can from the experience...it will make you that much better a mate in the future. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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