I found something...

[Ally Boo]

Last night I stayed at Steven's house. He's the guy that I dated for a year, and broke up with bc of cheating. Well, today, after he left work, I slept late and then went to work. I looked at this post card looking thing that I'd been seeing since I started coming over again, on his mirror, and thought I'd look at it. It was a card, and I shouldn't have looked at it, but I did.

It was from this girl who I had heard around the time I was with MIchael, he was dating. She's real young. Anyway, it said "You are my favorite pillow. I remember everything we did Friday Night. I had fun, blah blah blah I <3 U." What freaked me out is....it didn't bother me. Like I wasn't jealous at all. I guess bc I know he loves me. I did some math from the date of the card, and I realized that the next day, after that "Friday" he had found out I was with Michael again, and was paging me and calling me constantly...finally came out and asked me about it and told me that if I ever wanted a chance with him again, I couldn't have them both, and I had to choose. When I'd hear about this girl, he'd swear nothing was going on with them. He's the kinda guy who likes to cuddle and stuff, and girls take it the wrong way. He's OVER affectionate to the people he shouldn't be, and UNDER affectionate to the ones he SHOULD be.

 

Anyway, I don't want to say anything to him about it. We aren't back together, so to speak. We are spending time together to see how our feelings develop and hopefully get back together.

 

Yesterday, I decided that I'm going to give me and Steven 6 months. I'm not going to date or see people he'd be "threatened" by me seeing, and I'm going to try to be the girlfriend I wasn't. I want to give it my best effort to see what happens....so that I'll have closure, knowing I tried everything I had, if it doesn't work out, and I can move on.

 

He is the only guy I ever truly loved, I just let my fears of abondment get in the way of our relationship. So I want to love totally...the good and the bad.

 

I don't want to smother him and push him away, and it just blows me away that it's not bothering me. Does this make sense? Any thoughts??

[honeybee255]

Its good to see that you are trying to work out what you had wanted to do from before. When you were with micheal at the time, and you said he was paging you(you said you did the math)was he with that other girl at the time? When was that friday? No i guess you cant be mad, but why arent you, maybe not even jealous? Im not sure. Maybe becuase its in the past and hes wanting to be with you now. Not saying im cutting the guy slack, just be careful.

I was in a situation with my ex(first true love)back home when we were together when i found a card in his glove department box. but i was upset. I asked him about it and he told me it was from his psycho ex. it stated how much she loves him and how she enjoyed the time spent..well i did find out he was cheating on me.

I think its up to you to decide if you want to question him or not. I know i would before my heart gets to wrapped up. You dont know if this girl is still ga-ga over him or what and since you guys are both starting fresh and trying in my opinion i would be straight up honest with him about that card. He owes you the truth since you were honest with him. If he doesnt want to kiss and tell then he shouldnt have left it out. Im not really sure, just be careful..i can tell you have a good head on your shoulder and you know what you want..keep us posted..

[Ally Boo]

Well, Michael came to my work Friday and proposed to me, then begged me to marry him...I said no of course. (Michael is the guy I was living with when me and Steven broke up). Then he did it again that night.....

 

The next day, he went as far as finding that girl on AOL, who has Steven in her profile, and who wrote the card, IMing her, telling her that he is in love with me and wants to marry me, and that Steven is seeing me and I'm in love with Steven, etc. Well, the girl says they've been seeing each other since June (before me and Steven broke up) and that she thinks I am being played....but that he's never mentioned marriage to her...although they are "serious."

 

Anyway, I thought it was kinda psychotic to A) be in my business and B) find her sn and talk to her...its hard to find her! I emailed Tony's post to that Blondie 4 chick or whatever, about a friend with other motives. I told them both to kiss both acres of my ass and have a nice life.

 

Well, me and Steven talked and he swears it's stupid drama that isn't true and is frustrated that he has to prove himself constantly to me. And Michael sends me 5 love letters a day telling me how he'll always be there as a friend, lover, wants to marry me, blah blah blah.

 

I'm just like whatever, I really don't care anymore. Its all he said, she said stuff, and no one will ever know the truth, but Steven. And to be honest....I don't even know if that copy of the IM Michael had with that girl wasn't edited or doctored....so I mean who really knows?

 

I go to my first counseling session tonight. I'm going to see one to work on my relationship with my dad, and try to make some sense into all of this mess. I just need someone to help me be stronger. I'm too old for 6th grader drama....sorry I just had to vent.