What is an appropriate boundary with a coworker?

[MizzouFan1985]

I get along smashingly well with a fellow female coworker I supervise. Third parties have remarked that we act like husband and wife. I would like it to be something more (I am recently single, as is she), but she says she does not want to get into a relationship now (but says it is possible down the road). Anyway, while she remains fun and very open to me at work, she seems reluctant to do things together outside of the office. For example, if we are somewhere on a work trip, she is more than willing to have drinks, go dancing, do the things that couples do. However, if it is not work related, she seems to have plans (and no, she is not dating). I take this to mean that she has set a somewhat natural boundary to limit our interaction, at least for now, to the work setting. I find it tough, as we are so close at work, but I am not able to see her outside. Do people think this is smart? My gut tells me that it is the right thing for her do, because a relationship would jeopardize us.

[bluechocolate]

Do people think this is smart?

 

There really isn't a question of "smart" or "dumb" here. If that is the way she wants it, then it is the right way for her.

 

btw - in general I do think it is smart not to date people from work, especially if they report to you.

 

My gut tells me that it is the right thing for her do, because a relationship would jeopardize us.

 

What does your gut tell you is the right thing for you to do?

[MizzouFan1985]

My gut tells me it is the right thing to do. We would jeopardize both of our jobs by furthering our personal relationship.

[Curmudgeon]

You've already answered your own question. Fishing in the company pond is never a good idea and doing so with a subordinate is unprofessional, inappropriate and can easily lead to allegations of sexual harassment.

 

Your next question should be, which is more important to you, your career or this employee.