Does anyone really get a second chance? Writting a letter....

[Firefighter689]

I had really naste break up the last week and im wondering if there is really a so called second chance. I was a like a crazy person when we broke up I keep calling her or texting her. She says she does not see me as boyfriend anymore and I can see why because of my actions, but when we did date I think it was great just issues of me not trust her because of past relationships. So Im writting a letter as follows below. Let me know if I should add anything or leave anything out....

 

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Well here goes nothing.... I putting myself out there only to probably to get hurt again. I feel like I am writing a blind person that will never truly see my words, but here it goes. It might be long I don’t know and it just all my thoughts so it might be hard to follow.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Right now it has been about week since we broke up and so many stupid things have happen this week. Things that I wish we both could change, but it’s in the past. I know your friends and family have lost total respect for me and I can’t change that. So that is one reason why even if your feeling ever did change for me we could never date, because that would be over both of our heads. What I can change is the issues that I have in my life and I’m working on those.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Some many times I wish you would have just called me back and said I don’t want you out of my life, but we need to talk about some things I don’t like about you. Because we all have faults you know we are human. We come to not find the perfect person, but by learning to see the imperfect person perfectly.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Displacement is how I feel and still a little lost. I had a pretty good day I guess, but then this afternoon was pretty rough. I went and talk to someone about things again. Just more about my past and how I put up walls and when I get scared I push people away in my life I care about. [/sIZE][/FONT]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]No wonder you say you can never see me as a boyfriend or anything like that I don’t blame you. Sometimes I wish people could have second chances, but I guess in my case that can’t happen. Not even if it was like start over or lets try something new type of thing. Your right at the beginning it was great, but my fears and issues in my life got in the way. I pushed a really great person out of my life and that hurts a lot and I think you know I’m hurting about that. [/FONT][/sIZE]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]All I think about is how you are doing what you are doing and if I ever cross your mind? I guess those are question I will never know the answer too. Sometimes I wish it could be in the movies you know when they break up and they are both really upset, but you know there is going to be a happy ending. Well I guess you and I will never have that happy ending, but sometimes still fun to think about I guess. Like here would be the way I would like my movie ending to go. It would be some where in town not planned or anything we just happen to run into each other and at first neither of us want to say a word because we are both to shy or just don’t know what to say. I would say it’s been a long time and you would something like your right it has been. I would ask you how school is going and how Gary, Adam, Clint and some of the other guys are doing just trying to think of something to say just to keep you there a little longer to see your smile. You would say something about them just because you did not want me to leave. Then you would crack one of you famous “your mom jokes and smile” and I would just laugh. Then I would ask if you would like to do something and you say sure so we would go get coffee and the rest of the day just enjoy being around each other with no worries about either of our past and that is as far as I get. (Ok so I don’t think it would receive and Oscur, but hey I would watch it) But I guess that will never happen just fun to think about.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]So I did not handle things with you right at all. I have to live with that everyday now until the pain goes away. I did not listen to the words you were trying to tell me about how you felt about me and how I was pushing you away. I wish when I was in California getting ready to come back home I wish I would not have turned off my phone so we could have actually talked. [/FONT][/sIZE]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]The biggest I wish right now is what you wrote me right after you just wanted a break “can't talk long cause em and i are ganna go get in the spa, but i just wanted to say i'm really glad it's not over. we can get through this! and i'm looking forward to it.”[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Man I hope that was still true….

 

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I know you were upset for us break up because a lot of people told me you were and you also told me you were upset when you wrote, “after i hung up i wanted to go to my room and cry or go out and get drunk. but i couldn't do any of that cause i had the baby with me. i didn't want it to be over, but i didn't know what to do, and i just couldn't handle it anymore”[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]You could not handle because of the guilt trips and me not trusting you or listening to you. Im working on those things right now. You know you are never going to believe this but I called Amanda Saturday night we talked for almost two hours about things. About because of her I have never really been the same when I’m dating someone you know. Jess if nothing else comes out of us breaking up that was one of the biggest steps I have ever taken in my life and something I needed to do. You don’t understand how hard it was for me to do that, but yet it was something that I really needed to do.[/sIZE][/FONT]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I fall for you hard when we started dating and I think you can also agree you liked me too. I know because a lot of people have told me you really liked. I guess for you and don’t take this the wrong way you can turn your feelings off like and light switch? Do you have any extra light switches laying around I could use one. [/FONT][/sIZE]

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]It was fun you know. The biggest thing that I liked most about it was sitting next to you and seeing you smile and just holding hands, but I enjoyed that. But then my issues in my past got in the way of the good things. I was scared to let you into my life because of being hurt before, but I should have never worried about that I had not reason to second guess you. It was fun to come home to you studying or having come over just to get away from the dorms I like that. Each morning getting a text that said “morning bub” even though by that time it was like eleven in the afternoon jk. I enjoyed the writing you on facebook all the time. I was just looking over today how I first told you I kinda liked you it was pretty cute (don’t tell the guys I used the word cute), but it was. I enjoyed going to the zoo with you and how much fun we had in Wichita to bad that was the last time we would be together like that. You know its kinda like the Garth Brooks song the dance “[/sIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]For a moment all the world was right, How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye, And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go, For a moment wasn't I the king, But if I'd only known how the king would fall

Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all, Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, But I'd of had to miss the dance.[/FONT][/sIZE][/COLOR]

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[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][COLOR=black]So with all of that said what do we do about all of this. Do we try and be friends and ignore that things could be different in a good way[/COLOR]. Do we ignore that we both still like each other, but things really to have to change for it to work. Which I’m trying to change and get help with some of my issues. I will leave you with this… I use to believe and well I still do if you give something your all everything you have and it doesn’t mater if you win or lose as long as your riskrf everything and put yourself out there and I have done that I did in my life and I think you can that I give it my all no matter what it is. But…. Not with you I never gave you that and I’m sorry. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[whichwayisup]

had really naste break up the last week and im wondering if there is really a so called second chance. I was a like a crazy person when we broke up I keep calling her or texting her. She says she does not see me as boyfriend anymore and I can see why because of my actions, but when we did date I think it was great just issues of me not trust her because of past relationships. So Im writting a letter as follows below. Let me know if I should add anything or leave anything out....

 

Haven't read your letter yet, but I want to comment on what you wrote here.

 

1)back off and leave her alone for abit. You're probably freakin' her out abit by over doing it. Let her think, let her miss you...

 

2)Past issues of other past relationships like she cheated in the past? If so, you gotta remember the past doesn't matter, what counts is the NOW and how she was with you during your relationship. What happened between her and someone else (in the past) shouldn't affect your relationship.

 

OK I go and read that letter now...Give you my thoughts when I'm done.

[whichwayisup]

Good letter, honest and from your heart. Problem is, it's long and think about this...Would you read a really long letter/email? Maybe focus on the most important things rather than the littler things...

 

Either way I wouldn't send the letter yet. Take your time, do more drafts of it...Don't write it and hit send.

 

Give it some time, see how she is when things cool down abit.

[Firefighter689]

I will do that. It was issues with me not trusting her not because she would ever do anything, but had been hurt in the past by someone else. What parts do you think are the best?

 

She has pretty much cut off anyway of talking to me.

[RocketMan2]

Put the letter away for a few days, then rewrite it without looking at the first one beforehand.

 

Then compare them, you'll be amazed how different they are.

 

I think youre trying to contact her too soon, give it more time and you will feel alot different

[whichwayisup]

Then you have to remember that she isn't the one who hurt you from your past. Your own insecurities have affected your relationship with her.

Did she ever give you reason not to trust her?

 

The parts that are good is you explaining why you feel the way you do. Not what others think, and owning up to your own part in it. Taking responsibility for your mistakes, that you pushed things too far...She'll respect that, and hopefully understand your frame of mind.

 

She has cut you off, so right now it's best to not contact her. Let things lay low for afew weeks, and during that time you heal yourself.

[miss snoopy]

After my ex walked out he instigated NC. I didn't attempt to ring, text or email him but 3/4 days later I sent a letter along the same lines as yours. He ignored it and I'm still yet to hear from him - this was over 2 months ago. So prepare youself for silence - if I had come here beforehand I won't have sent it as reading other people's accounts, it rarely works, especially so soon after the break-up.