And My daughter to

[digger]

Its been a while since I've been here. Still hurting pretty bad but not as bad

as in days gone by. So many things have happened that just makes the "D" crop its ugly head.

 

Its actually been since last summer when I wrote last.

I invited my daughter over for Fathers Day, and naturally she was to busy. But she could come over the following Sunday, which she did. With her boyfreind. I had wanted 'alone time" but I took what I could get.

I had a big time planned. Bought ice cream so I could make us my famous milk shakes. She showed up (shes 19) and walked in with my 'gift". She was to busy to wrap it she said. OK, thats one busy girl. It was a dvd player.

 

Come to find out by sifting thru the literature inside, that it was given to her and her mother as a freebie for purchasing a satellite system. Why would I have rather had a 5-cent card???? She stayed all of 30 minutes to watch a dvd and of course, they had to run. Before leaving, I asked if shed gotten the check her grandma (my mom) had sent for her graduation. The answer was NO. We've been having alot of mail lost lately. (How do you really know that mail has been lost?) I sent the check personally and I know full well the address so that didnt wash. With the hate of these 2, i really think that it was a matter of tearing up a $15 check, as opposed to cashing it and having to swallow a 'thank you" to grandma. After all, My mom had cancer and daughter never even called her to check on her. Hasnt spoken to her own grandma in 2 years. And far BE IT from the EW to tell her 'YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR GRANDMOTHER".

 

To make a long story short, I called her cell a week later. No answer, no return call. Havent heard from her now in 8 months. Guys, if I give myself anything, its this: Ive tried and tried. Begged and begged. If I kept it up, wanting her affection after trying for 2 years, I would look in the mirror and see a wallowing, weakling. I have to be through with it. Her indifference

has rubbed off from mother to daughter like newspaper print. Is there any reason I shouldnt be sick of it. And just TIRED!!

 

I had a pretty rough Christmas. Felt like a blubering fool looking out the window hoping for her arrival. After all it was Christmas Day. Nothing!!

Still have presents under the tree. Why did I even bother?

People say "ahh shes 19, she'll come around". So much for maturity. At 19 I would have never treated my father as such. I doubt I couldve lived with myself.

 

Addendum to story: found out in July that EW lost her fabulous job. Was

telling people she quit cause she just needed a break. (When you have a daughters college, 2 cars, a mortgage, etc, you dont just take a break).

I kept abreast of her bank account thru a mutual freind (banker) I found

that no money was deposited thru December. Not even unemployment.

And then I find out my EW travels 500 miles over Xmas to knock on the door of my retarded son (by my first marriage) to give him presents. Gawd what a piece of **** she is.

 

I know, I know, I keep punishing myself by being a private eye and quite frankly had visions of "oh boy they'll need me now" floating thru my head until

i realized financial difficulty is the last reason I'd want them to come back.

To end the story, I broke and attempted contact at the first of the year. A text to daughter and EW cells. Both bounced back. No longer in service.

Times are really rough..orrrrrr, they really have moved to Texas to be with

the EW bf.

 

Why would it NOT surprise me that my daughter wouldnt even call to say shes moving out of state?

I dont know where Ive been trying to go with all of this other than to say,

hat after 2 years and so many wishful hopes turnt to heartache, Ive now begun to go to a counselor AND a divorce support group. It may get better

but I have an indelibe 'hurt' that will never be erased.

 

For those who say "you should just get over it", have never been there.

I learned in my first session, it averages 5 yers to get over it. Thank the Lord I only have 2 1/2 to go.

[tweldy]

Have you considered the clean break? I mean move somewhere else - like way somewhere else - a foreign country even? Somehow I think your daughter is stuck around 11 and is going to have to go through some personal growth. Until then, you're not gonna see anything from her you would want to see.

 

You might be best served by trying to keep what positive feelings you have for her by not being around her until she gets better. Your EX is a piece of work - clearly she got canned and is trying to make like she wasn't. Maybe it was so bad that she can't get another job. However, your are only hurting yourself by keeping her in your mind.

 

Seriously, I don't know your profession, but if you're in a good field right now, and could hit the road, you might want to consider it. Getting over it is faster when your not around the 'it' you need to get 'over'.

[Mz. Pixie]

And then I find out my EW travels 500 miles over Xmas to knock on the door of my retarded son (by my first marriage) to give him presents. Gawd what a piece of **** she is.

 

 

I actually thought that was nice.

[Guest]

Well thats nice.

 

Know what my divorce support groups reaction to it was?

 

Reaction: What a piece of work

Opinion: Intrusive

Suggestion: She ought to butt out

 

I did not have one member at my 12 party table

who could defend that.