Lucky Gal Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 I need some advice. Over the weekend, my b/f and I got into an argument regarding a comment made about me by a member of his family. I found out about the comment from my sister, whom he dislikes quite a bit. His family member denied saying it when he confronted her, naturally, but I have the email to prove she said it. However, my b/f got very angry that I doubted him, I am still not really sure about the whole situation, and we almost broke up over it. He is convinced his family member is telling the truth and I have my doubts. He doesn't ever want to see my sister again. I am worried that this may affect our relationship and I don't want to get involved. My sister and I are not that close, but the thought of losing him hurt more than I ever thought it would. We are engaged to be married and I just wanted advice from any of you as to whether you think this is some petty family issue or something that I should watch out for. He will never doubt the sincerity of this family member and I am not really sure what to do. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
Thoughts Posted September 9, 2002 Share Posted September 9, 2002 I think you should have a one on one with the person you think offended you, as long as it doesn't put you in physical danger. If you can do this, don't go into it with a chip on your shoulder. Approach the matter with the attitude of reconciliation. Take the evidence with you and show it to them. Ask them if it is true or not. Hearsay causes a lot of problems for a lot of people. Don't jump to conclusions. Also, keep in mind that it's possible the email you got was fabricated for some reason or another. Try to work this out between you and your (possible?) future in-law. If you don't work this out now and you do end up marrying this guy, Christmas and Thanksgiving get togethers will forever be sickening events. It should also be of concern to you about your boyfriend's attitude toward your sister. If he can't find a way to deal with this and let it go, it could be an indication of how he will deal with other difficult situations in the future. Some people have some really psycho family members (on both sides). You don't have to invite them to spend the night but things sure work a lot better if you can learn to deal with them in a mature way on occasion. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted September 10, 2002 Share Posted September 10, 2002 Your fiance needs to realize that if you percieve that there is a problem, then there is one. I like the above advice. My only thoughts would be this....you all will get over it eventually. I remember, a family friend got pregnant and everyone thought the world had ended....and when she had another one a few years later, they were so happy. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is....its not really their business, and one day they'll realize it and shut up about it. As far as you go, I'd just chalk it up to drama and refuse to not have any more of it. AS LONG AS YOU SHOW THEM A REACTION, THEY WILL KEEP IT UP. Drama queens get off on that.... Link to post Share on other sites
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