Why is it that when us woman have been jilted, we cut our hair?

[Road Rage]

Many women definitely cut their hair or change their hair style after a breakup. I speculate it is not really the breakup itself that inspires the change but rather the resolve to move on emotionally.

 

Taking it one step further, is it possible that the greater the emotional connection that existed in the relationship, the greater the need to change a hairstyle when moving on?

 

Even though a woman may be in a relationship a long time, it does not mean her heart was really into it. So, maybe no need to disconnect emotionally since it never was there in the first place.

[dropdeadlegs]

[quote=Road Rage;1058the greater the emotional connection that existed in the relationship, the greater the need to change a hairstyle when moving on?

 

I can only speak for myself, but yes, I agree.

[IpAncA]

Better question, why is it a woman cuts her hair after the wedding?

 

Its like they use their hair to be more attractive, then when they snag their man, they figure...why bother keeping it up now?

I cut mine.

 

I used to have hair down to my butt. I always wanted hair that long so it took me about 2 years to do it. After a while it was hard to take care of, to much work, heavy, and my head was hurting all the time. So I cut it off little by little and now it's a little bit below my shoulder. I think it looks better.

 

I wanted to dump the baby look and have the more mature professional look. I guess it was a way of me losing my college look and growing up. Hard to explain but it was like I wanted to leave something and start new.

 

Now I like it shorter. It's easier to do things with, especailly when straightening it. I'm still attractive so don't think that just because I cut my hair my looks are over.

 

I was going to cut it no matter if I was married or not. It was going to happen.

[Woggle]

What about women who already have very short hair before the breakup? Do they just shave it all off? Just kidding.

[Salicious Crumb]

I cut mine.

 

I used to have hair down to my butt. I always wanted hair that long so it took me about 2 years to do it. After a while it was hard to take care of, to much work, heavy, and my head was hurting all the time. So I cut it off little by little and now it's a little bit below my shoulder. I think it looks better.

 

I wanted to dump the baby look and have the more mature professional look. I guess it was a way of me losing my college look and growing up. Hard to explain but it was like I wanted to leave something and start new.

 

Now I like it shorter. It's easier to do things with, especailly when straightening it. I'm still attractive so don't think that just because I cut my hair my looks are over.

 

I was going to cut it no matter if I was married or not. It was going to happen.

 

Oh I dont mind the shorter hair, but my wife got hers cut where it is REALLY short in the back. She asked me what I thought and I just froze.

 

To me it was like I was married to a guy.

 

But I did the right thing...I told her it looked good.

[ely]

I've always wanted to know why we do this. I'm sure not every woman who's been dropped cut their hair, but many of us do. Maybe 3 days after my fiance broke up with me, I cut off most of my hair. I had almost butt lenght black hair. I donated it to locks of love of course I like the cut and I got to dye it red, yay! But I've done this before. All of my life when I was hurt by a guy, I cut my hair on impulse. I've seen so many people do it too. What is the significance of this? Does it mean we are freeing ourselves in a way?

 

Chrissi

 

 

 

 

For some reason when I go through a dilema I will either cut it or change my color. Why? I don't know but I am glad to see I am not the only one that does this. I was begining to think I was weird.

[IpAncA]

Oh I dont mind the shorter hair, but my wife got hers cut where it is REALLY short in the back. She asked me what I thought and I just froze.

 

To me it was like I was married to a guy.

 

But I did the right thing...I told her it looked good.

 

Oh I know what your talking about. Yeah I've seen that happen before where it's ALL off. Now that I don't understand either.

 

At least you didn't do what my dad does. He's HONEST about that stuff. My mom came home one day with a tighter perm and he hated it and I do mean that. He has a thing about hair so she styles it how he likes it. I was honest to, poodle perm doesn't work for her. So she does the loose one and it make her look really good.

[Salicious Crumb]

Oh I know what your talking about. Yeah I've seen that happen before where it's ALL off. Now that I don't understand either.

 

At least you didn't do what my dad does. He's HONEST about that stuff. My mom came home one day with a tighter perm and he hated it and I do mean that. He has a thing about hair so she styles it how he likes it. I was honest to, poodle perm doesn't work for her. So she does the loose one and it make her look really good.

 

LOL....well let me clarify...I USE to lie to spare her feelings...after finding out she wasn't faithful during our engagement....I tell her the truth.

[sb129]

my ex hated my hair anything other than all one length and its natural colour. I forgot what my natural colour was long before I met him..

 

when we broke up i got is cut shorter, choppier and had bright red streaks put it.... it looked awesome..

its now a little less crazy, but my new guy loves it.

[blind_otter]

Historically women have cut their hair when they go through a transition in their lives. When they were in mourning after the loss of a loved one, for example. The tradition continues in the collective unconscious.

[sb129]

Where is the otter?

[blind_otter]

Where is the otter?

 

wait. What?

[sb129]

You changed your picture...

No more otter...

 

It was cute.

[IpAncA]

when we broke up i got is cut shorter, choppier and had bright red streaks put it.... it looked awesome..

its now a little less crazy, but my new guy loves it.

 

My H would FREAK if I come home with anything other then my natural hair color.

 

There's no way I could come home with yellow, red, or green hair.

[sb129]

It wasn't red as in fire engine RED. But a deep but brightish browny red that looked great against my dark hair.

Its all washed out now,and my hair has faded to a kinda warm brown.

I still like it.

In my job I couldn't really have green blue or anything like that either.

[IpAncA]

It wasn't red as in fire engine RED. But a deep but brightish browny red that looked great against my dark hair.

Its all washed out now,and my hair has faded to a kinda warm brown.

I still like it.

In my job I couldn't really have green blue or anything like that either.

 

I couldn't either.

[sb129]

It would be fun tho... if it wasn't career suicide I might consider it.

Maybe on my last day...

[IpAncA]

It would be fun tho... if it wasn't career suicide I might consider it.

Maybe on my last day...

Yeah there ya go.

 

It would be funny to do that.

[sb129]

I'll keep you posted. i finish in august.

[tokyo]

After years of pining and whining about a guy, who was not even able to end things in a nice and peaceful way even though I begged and pleaded, I realized that it just wasn't meant to be. I realized that I would not see him again any way soon and my need to look pretty for him (meaning: with long hair) was a waste of time and a waste of my life. I got it cut, because I wanted to move on. It meant, that I had stopped waiting for him to come back to me or to hope for any kind of reconciliation. I got it cut, because I wanted to, because I just didn't care about pleasing anybody but myself and because I was tired of my longing that things be perfect, that I be perfect.

 

The good thing is, I don't look that bad with my new haircut. Actually, I got quite a lot of compliments. Apart from how it looks, it's so great not to have to worry about hair in your face or about having to dry it for ages. It's short and sweet. So, all is well in the end.

 

To those who think that cutting one's hair is about self-hatred - give it a break, hon...

[Guest]

To me it was like I was married to a guy.

 

And, this is precisely why I think Guys prefer their women to have long hair. It not only distinguishes her as a female but also deters any feelings of homosexuality to generate within him.

 

I cut my hair three times. The first time, was for curiosity of a different style. It was cute. I liked long hair on me better.

 

However, the last two times were not because I broke up with a boyfriend but because I WANTED to break up with a boyfriend. As another poster mentioned, I was no longer emotionally interested in these men and rebelled against them, although I wasn't totally aware of my emotional position at the time. I truly believe a main reason for cutting my hair was to make myself unattractive to my boyfriends so they would end it with me. And, it seemed the worse the relationship or the more I wanted out, the shorter I cut my hair.

 

My first relationship, I cut my hair only once--a cute little curly thing. My last relationship: Three times! The last was a true boy cut--very VERY close the scalp. I remember feeling torn about it. I didn't like looking like a cute boy and wished my hair was long again, but I was content because I was definitely aware that the short 'do was serving some sort of purpose. Didn't know exactly what purpose--but who cared! I followed my gut and felt the rewards.

 

I think maybe, too, if we are being emotionally abused or neglected we do things (and even Don't do things!) to our hair to gain attention. A person's hair is a large part of what identifies us to others...(She's a red head, that blonde over there, the older woman, the curly haired chick...etc.) There's also a sense of power or control in cutting our hair when we feel like we can't control the emotional state of our relationships. We can control that aspect of it.

 

Now, my hair is below shoulder-length and I am set on locking it. I never cared for locks before, but now, I'm looking forward to it! And, there's not a doubt in my mind why it's come at this point in my life to do this. I've been facing my mortality a lot lately and have begun to shed my vices. I also find that I don't need approval of others much anymore either. Everythings' changing for me--especially emotionally. And, my hair is following suit.

 

All that being typed, I wholeheartedly believe that we used our hair subconsciously as a form of communication of where we stand as women. Socially, emotionally, and even spiritually or politically.

 

-A.