What can I do to ease my girlfriend pain for being far away?

[confusedgeek]

Hi there,

 

Question for the loveshack members here who have a significant other that lives far away.

 

To make a long story short, I met this girl online about 1 year and a few months ago. We've been talking nearly every day, and it is awesome. Up until 2 months ago and 6000 miles later, I finally visited her for the first time.

 

We caught up on everything. I stayed with her in hotels for 2 weeks then had to fly back. It was an incredible two weeks and I didnt want it to end.

I wasnt able to stay longer due to no more vacation time and lack of funds.

 

Anyways since we've returned back home to our respective countries, we still have great conversations. Although, tonight she was feeling quite sad for the first time.

 

She is just finishing her master's degree and is looking for work, but unfortunately no one replied back to her yet. I'm sure she is looking for work so that we can live/get in touch with each other closer.

 

We dont have very much money and can barely support ourselves which is a problem.

 

Today, she was very emotional and cried in front of me (webcam) saying how hard our relationship is. It is true, we live a globe apart and money is a real problem between us.

 

I told her to cheer up and everything will work out, but still I feel rather helpless because I couldnt hug her or be closer to her at those emotional times.

 

Im feeling rather bad too at the moment because im probably the reason she is feeling so sad.

 

I was wondering what can I do at these moments?

 

- ConfusedGeek

[Poboy]

send her a e greeting ( a real card or gift would be better if you can )...

write her something nice ( a love note , poem )

call her up

make her something special & unique and send it to her if possible.

[Go_Chicago]

The best thing you can do, is what you are doing. Kudo's to you. You are there for her and talking with her about the emotions that you both are feeling. Physical distance is hard, but you do have an emotional bond which is worth so much more in reality. The emotional moments will be those that she holds with her for the remainder of her life. I can tell you this from 3000 miles of LDR myself.

 

Ensure that you are honest and open with her on how you feel. This allows her to do the same without feeling like you are letting go. The sadness of not being together is inevitable right now, however, allowing yourself to feel that you are the cause of her sadness is the wrong way to think. There are bouts of sadness, but in the long-run, the happiness that you instill in her outweighs the sadness. Talking on the phone, Web-cam, email, texting - etc all provide happiness, so concentrate on these techniques right now (all the things you do in a relationship are there, minus the physical proximity). The happiness acquired when constructing a future together gives hope and perpetuates further bonds. Distance is a technicality which can be overcome. Finances are difficult but with planning, these too, can be overcome. If you plan for a future together........ you both can get there TOGETHER. That's the important thing to remember.

 

Chica

[Am4Real]

I can only give you advice from my shortcommings in this area...if you are heading towards a committment with her, despite the financial obstacles, give her a plan, a realistic one of course. It not only gives you and her both hope and a target, it lays out expectations which balances well with the lower points of a LD relationship.

 

Am4Real:rolleyes:

[Am4Real]

send her a e greeting ( a real card or gift would be better if you can )...

write her something nice ( a love note , poem )

call her up

make her something special & unique and send it to her if possible.

 

Your last suggestion is the best in my opinion, make her something (that can pass Customs of course) AND get it to her ASAP.