ladies ... rip me apart

[Star Gazer]

DIE! DIE! DIE!

 

 

That's quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read on LS.

[Kamille]

I can only date who is available and wants to date. 95% of them fall into this category.... I can only chose from what is available and what happens to be available is women who are attached in some way, cheaters and druggies. And no this is not a stereotype, it is a cold hard fact of what I have experienced.

 

So if I never dated women with these issues then I would date maybe once every 5 years.

 

It's not poor judgment, the odds are stacked against me to begin with. Poor judgement would be staying with these women instead of kicking them to the curb.

 

 

So what if you date only once in awhile if it will spare you some grueling dating experiences? I go out on dates when it's worth it, not for the mere idea of dating.

 

Step one to finding a healthy relationship is selection:

 

-know what you are looking for - define it in a positive way and not a negative way (so far you've put a lot of emphasis on what you don't want. Now spent the same amount of energy defining what it is that you want.) Do a grocery list of qualities you are looking for.

 

-Seek out and date women who have the qualities you are looking for.

 

I don't believe you when you say none exist. We all know that's a lame ass excuse that only allows you to stay camped in a position of victimization.

[tokyo]

Uhoh, upon further information about some of Kindred_Soulman's statements I think I will get out before I have to take sides, which in this case don't really want to.

 

Bye, bye, and play nice.

[InsanityImpaired]

To me, this is not a preference, it is immoral. But it is obvioulsy okay since "everyone's doing it".

That is one reason.

Nope, it is immoral. Have you ever read the Bible? Apparently not.

That is reason two and in bold is reason three.

So she loves the fact that he can not provide for himself, and he does not take care of his children.

That is reason four.

Excuse me but doesn't these things say something about HIS character? If she loves who he is then I suppose she loves the fact that he has unprotected sex with girls and makes babies he can't afford.

That is reason five. Interestingly enough, you are friends with someone with a dubious character. That in itself may be reason six.

I have known a lot of people in bands who could not hold a regular job and were alcoholics.

 

But society says "He is in a band, he must be cool, tough and macho".

Reason seven.

You too are dating a loser and I can see why now.

Reason eight, nine and ten.

What's wrong with a woman who's dating multiple guys simultaniously?

 

Everything.

Reason eleven.

 

I personally think you are jealous of strippers, because you seem to talk focus on them a lot.

Reason twelve - a

 

I don't appreciate your comment about my happiness, because I am totally happy with myself. It's when I get a woman around that the trouble begins.

Reason #13. Happy with yourself, yet you are unhappy with your inability to get a girl. Something does not add up.

 

I can tell by your post that you have no clue, and I appreciate the advice of many people here but you are just plain ignorant.

Reason twelve - b and fourteen.

 

Beauty does fade, but mostly unattractive women say stuff like that.

Reason fifteen.

No. What I am saying is I would like to meet an attractive and intelligent young woman with no drama.

 

Not someone who is dating 3 guys or is "seperated" or just broke up with her ex yesterday.

 

Oh wait, I forgot - this woman does not exist, so maybe you are right.

Let's go to Latin numerals. XVI

 

Obviously, because a innocent little woman can't be to blame! God forbid.

Reason XVII.

And God forbid I would say anything bad about women in general, even though it is just a byproduct of a failing society.

 

Go back to reading your fairy tale and when you wake up someday, come talk to me.

Reason XVIII.

I have never been to therapy, never will. Seems more like your thing since you mention it so much.

Reason XIX.

DIE! DIE! DIE!

Reason XX.

 

I may have missed a few. But I would certainly not consider dating anyone who makes these statements.

[kindred_soulman]

I may have missed a few. But I would certainly not consider dating anyone who makes these statements.

 

I don't recall asking you for a date.

 

I would certainly not consider dating anyone who can not put a thought into words.

[InsanityImpaired]

I don't recall asking you for a date.

 

I would certainly not consider dating anyone who can not put a thought into words.

Reason 21 and 22. I did not even comment on your lacking understanding of English grammar and spelling.

[kindred_soulman]

Reason 21 and 22. I did not even comment on your lacking understanding of English grammar and spelling.

 

Another moron on the internet. Who would have guessed?

[kindred_soulman]

I did not even comment on your lacking understanding of English grammar and spelling.

 

This should be:

 

I did not even comment on your LACK OF understanding of English grammar and spelling.

[InsanityImpaired]

Another moron on the internet. Who would have guessed?

The odds of a komodo lizard getting married to a good woman are even better than yours at the moment. Which is something you should be congratulated with, I would think.

[kindred_soulman]

The odds of a komodo lizard getting married to a good woman are even better than yours at the moment. Which is something you should be congratulated with, I would think.

 

A good woman? Where, where?

[Star Gazer]

(Whispering)

 

Shhhhh. Be very, very quiet. Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away...

[MySugaree]

The odds of a komodo lizard getting married to a good woman are even better than yours at the moment. Which is something you should be congratulated with, I would think.

 

Simply brilliant!

[Kamille]

I am an awesomely good woman who does not go out on multiple dates, decent looking if I may say so, love to laugh, adore stimulating conversations, have never had a bisexual experience but also don't believe there is anything wrong with bisexuality.

 

I have very little baggage.

 

But I don't go for arrogant guys who need to one-up everyone.

 

Sorry.

[dropdeadlegs]

kindred_soulman,

 

I'm not asking to make you angry, but are you feeling ripped apart yet?

 

Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. This thread is a good example of an old adage. Sometimes I need a reminder of something I already know, and I certainly got it here.

[crazy_grl]

Apparently, I never was.

 

I think that's a very accurate statement. That's not bashing you either, because I think a lot of people who are dating aren't ready to are never were. Sounds like you were never given the right information to choose a good partner, which led to this bitterness, which has made you even less ready to date. Those girls who cheated on you, for example, were never ready to be dating.

 

I'm not trying to brag here, but I think I just might fit into your category of women. I don't like to date more than one person at a time. (Though I don't see anything wrong with the people who do as long as they're honest about it.) It just doesn't suit me. I'm told often that I'm very attractive, and I do believe in the Bible and have read a couple different versions of it (We may not agree on which is the correct version though). I'm not bisexual nor do I have any curiousity about being sexual with women. I have a college education and a decent paying job that I'm quite good at.

 

I wouldn't want anything to do with you though. Your posts have reminded me of 2 guys I know. One guy is just completely arrogant and uses that "it's a fine line between confidence and arrogance" line too. I agree with the statement, but both you and he crossed that line.

 

The other guy was someone I dated for a couple months. Everything I said to him was turned around and made into some dramatic, demanding, stereotypical woman behavior. I was accused of playing games a lot. The thing is, no other guys have ever accused me of all the stuff this guy was. Most of it was in his head and he was the one creating most of the drama, because his relationships were the ones that followed the same pattern, not mine.

 

I've had guys do a lot of things that hurt me, including seeing other girls behind my back and just up and leaving me after a year without any warning or explanation. I didn't make good choices when I chose those partners. If I was walking around blaming the men for it, man-bashing and sounding like you, no man would want to be with me now either.

[Darkwall]

A good woman? Where, where?

 

HERE I AM. And, if you read my earlier posts which by the way you've ignored to respond to... I have given you along with many other posters in this thread excellent advice. Why have you not taken it? Your posts continue to demonstrate negativity and anger. It's as if you didn't even read or consider positive advice. You keep posting as though you've been given nothing to work with. I feel like removing myself from your thread. You make me angry. But, I won't. I want to finally read some constructive efforts on your part based on what advice you've been given. You seem to enjoy being sad and angry or you wouldn't continue to be so hostile.

 

You've been given excellent advice on how to meet that special lady and how to adjust your character to do so. I recommend you read your thread from the very beginning and really "listen" to what has been said.

 

AND stop being so sarcastic, it's a form of anger. Good women are not drawn to angry men!

[Darkwall]

I just looked into your posts to other threads and... how terrible of you.

 

If you don't want to help yourself than we can't help you either. You won't accept good advice and you're giving others angry advice. Stop that!!

 

I've been lied to, cheated on, and really hurt. But, you don't hear me BASHING society or all men in it for my pain.

 

You obviously can't face the truth of everything I've said to you or you would have responded. Which is why I think you enjoy being miserable. Now, you want company?

[Salicious Crumb]

I saw that on TV. It show how sexual harassment/creepy guy behavoir is often defined not by what the guy is doing, but how the woman reacts to it.

 

No, it shows how women will take offense to a not-so-good looking guy asking her out....but if he is attractive...no offense taken.

[CaliGuy]

No, it shows how women will take offense to a not-so-good looking guy asking her out....but if he is attractive...no offense taken.

 

IMHO about 1/4 of it is how he looks.

 

The other 3/4 is in how he approaches her. Confidently and with a little wit/humor and he'll be fine.

 

The problem with men who are average or less than average looking is they don't approach women with any level of confidence or experience so they come off 'creepy.'

 

Trust me, I've seen good looking men in clubs back in the day get slapped. It matters less how you look and much more how you approach them.

[RecordProducer]

Reading stuff like this makes me want to pull my hair out. My dream is to be in a real relationship with someone who is both intelligent AND attractive. But too often when I find intelligent attractive women and try to start some sort of dating thing, they back off like I've offended them. Do they think I just want sex? I really do want the whole relationship, and for me, openness and intelligent conversation is just as important as good sex.

 

I can sometimes make friends with these women if I pretend I have no romantic interest in them, but when I try to move it past the friends stage it becomes awkward and I become the "creepy guy", or they start a relationship with someone else.

 

It's easy to say to guys like me "there's someone out there for you - you'll meet her," but that sounds hallow after years of playing this game and seeing others go through mutiple LTRs in the same time period.

IWA, what you don't get is that I (and many other people) also felt like creeps! I mean, recall the girl that you would never date, but she would date you. How do you feel about it? You are thinking: "Yeah, sure, only losers like her want to date me and I can count on my fingers even SUCH losers who want to date me. But none of the girls I'd like to date ever gives me a chance." Well that's exactly how I felt and what I went through. Many of the guys were not so bad, but I was just not interested. If you want an ego boost, start approaching the gilrs that you don't want to date and you'll see that they will say "yes" in most cases, unless you act like a jerk around them.

 

After I split with my ex-husband, I didn't even have anyone to sleep with for like 2-3 years. The only times when I did (just several times), it was with people that I didn't even like, I had to get drunk in order to make myself get some sex, and after that night, they would forget about me as if I am the creep, not them. How do you think it made me feel?

 

But then I met the nice guy and he loved me. And then I met the right guy and he married me. Just be patient and it will come. I know it's easier to say than go through it, but most of us went through it.

 

It also seemed to me before that everyone around me jumped from one to another LTR. But then I realized that most people I know are either eternally married or eternally single. It's just like the feeling that while everyone around you is living an unforgetable, adventurous life, you're sitting at home doing nothing. But the truth is: it's always "someone else." And who is this someone else in reality? Nobody! Life is often boring and lonely. Sometimes for years.

 

Before I would see people around me laughing and I would think how sad and lonely I feel. Then I started paying attention to others when I was laughing. They must have thought the same about me. And I noticed that more often than not (way more often) I would see people who looked lonely than people who looked happy. And very often I would see people who looked happy, but I knew they were not happy, because I knew their situations at home.

 

When I was dating my husband and I lived in Europe and he was in the US, I always thought that he had a wild life: parties, flying to different cities, dancing, family reunions, etc. But in fact, he was spending long nights talking to a computer (me) for a year and a half. He was lonely, because he didn't have a woman in his life. And all the wild fun turned out to be huge bullsh*t, except the flying which is wonderful because we are together.

 

And before me, I thought he had some wild love and sex life with many women. But the truth is he didn't really like those women, he got tired of searching for the right one and sleeping with the wrong ones.

 

Even people who are committed go through periods of loneliness, let alone the fights and pain that are unavoidable in every relationship. It's certainly easier to have someone than be single. To me being single is unbearable. But there are ways to stop being single. You have to find ways to meet new people, go to many places, approach women, show your best sides, etc.

[RecordProducer]

The problem with men who are average or less than average looking is they don't approach women with any level of confidence or experience so they come off 'creepy.'

Very, very true! Actually the biggest creep I've met in the last few years was a very handsome man. But who he was on the inside and how he talked to me was .

 

I met a guy I was supposed to work with (a keyboard player) and my first thought was: "OMG, he is so ugly, who's gonna want this guy on stage?" Later we became such good friends, he is so charming, I almost slept with him. The reason why I didn't was because he was way below me intellectually and in other aspects. But only after a couple weeks of hanging out together, I felt some attraction toward him.

 

My point is - sometimes it's not the looks that turn girls off. Looks only matter on the first sight. So guys, don't worry ONLY about your physics, start worrying ALSO about your personalities!

 

Frankly, how many of you are really objective about your other qualities?

[Krytellan]

Don't think so chief...

 

Really... hmm...

Take away all of the text that you have written in this forum except for this line, and I can totally envision the person you are.

 

It takes a high level of egotism, pomposity, and jerkishness to even use this phrase in conversation.

[Krytellan]

I know you will likely disregard this based on my previous post, but oh well

 

I think I may have mentioned this to you already...

Sometimes if you give someone you would never consider dating a chance, you fall in love. This goes back to having an open mind.

 

There is so much truth to this statement. It's amazing what we can allow ourselves to do if we put forth some effort. I have always dated, and mistakenly married, women who adhered to a high physical standard... and that has nothing to do with me thinking I'm all that. The point is, that after my divorce and subsequent long-distance move, I met a girl who was pretty and smart, but had, and to be brutally and piggishly honest, a bigger butt than I like. In fact, it was almost a deal-breaker for me. However, I chose (and it took some effort at first) to look past it because of all of the other things she had going for her, and honestly because cute butts hadn't made me happy to this point. Long story short, I am madly in love with this woman now and that butt that almost broke the deal for me now drives me absolutely crazy.

 

I guess the point is that sometimes you can convince yourself to do something or give someone a chance that you wouldn't normally. And lets face it, if the normal choices aren't panning out, what the hell do you have to lose?

[CardPlay3r]

I've only managed to read part of this thread because it's so long, but from the first 50-ish posts I think I can see where some of your problems lie :

 

1) You are arrogant

2) You are way too judgemental

3) You are conceited

 

Your anger/hate towards bisexual women includes all three....let's see, it's not a choice, it's how they are born, most people are born attracted to the opposite sex, some are born attracted to the same sex others to both etc.

 

Saying someone is 'immoral' because they were born a certain way is nonsense to me...

 

And frankly, if you choose to live your life according to some humans interprentation of a book written by other humans - in your case, the bible - then you are brainwashed in my opinion...

 

I have a few bisexual girls as friends and they're all great people and much more moral than many straight people I have seen...

 

I know you'll probably not give my comments a second thought, but just so you know they weren't meant to be hateful, just honest and trying to help you see things in a new light, more open minded one...

 

Oh and btw, there weren't less bisexuals 50 years ago, I'm sure the % of the population was the same, they were just in denial about half of their sexuality, even to themselves, because of a biased society

[kindred_soulman]

You've been given excellent advice on how to meet that special lady and how to adjust your character to do so. I recommend you read your thread from the very beginning and really "listen" to what has been said.

 

AND stop being so sarcastic, it's a form of anger. Good women are not drawn to angry men!

 

Women are my cause of anger. Perhaps I should just remove them from my life, which I have done recently.

 

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with my character.

 

I can't say the same for others though.