Advice on my relationship. Please!

[ToTheBatCave421]

[font=courier new][/font]My girlfriend is seeming to have a problem being as comfortable with me as she is with other guys. This seems to be affecting all the aspects of our relationship especially in the sexual sense. She says she has never been that comfortable with her other boyfriends but she is willing to try with me. Does anyone have any advice on how i can help her with this.

[clia]

I need more details and examples in order to give you some help. I'm not sure what you mean when you say "she is not as comfortable" with you.

 

What does this mean?

[Tony T]

FIRST YOU WRITE: "My girlfriend is seeming to have a problem being as comfortable with me as she is with other guys."

 

What the above statement implies is that she is NOT as comfortable with you as with other guys. Her problem is being uneasy around you and more comfortable around other males. That's what it sounds like to me.

 

THEN YOU WRITE: "This seems to be affecting all the aspects of our relationship especially in the sexual sense."

 

Well, if she's not comfortable with you, I can understand that. Maybe you're the wrong person for her...or maybe she likes you so much she's uncomfortable. You need to explore with her the reasons she is less comfortable with you...if that's what you're trying to say.

 

THEN YOU WRITE: "She says she has never been that comfortable with her other boyfriends but she is willing to try with me."

 

The above statement implies she is MORE comfortable with you than she has been with other guys...and that wouldn't be a problem you would post here. If she is MORE comfortable with you than with others, that is absolutely great. Or maybe she is very comfortable around you because she doesn't care as much so is much more at ease because of that. You need to explore that with her and if that's the case...if she has cared more for other guys in the past than she cares for you, you might want to think about terminating the relationship unless you think giving her more time around you might do the trick.

 

YOUR QUESTION: "Does anyone have any advice on how i can help her with this."

 

Once you clarify exactly what the problem is....be very clear and specific...the we can certainly help you.

 

Just as an aside, you can't help others feel any particular way. You can effectively communication but ultimately the way people feel is a choice that they make which is influenced by many variables. Rather than pick a woman and working to make her feel a particular way, find a woman who feels positive about you without you having to bust your butt to get her to that point.

 

Best of luck to you. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.