jacquelyn Posted November 16, 1999 Share Posted November 16, 1999 Hi, I am 20 years old and have been dating a marvelous man for 1 and a half years. He is my best friend, we can talk about anything. We spend as much time as we can together, and no matter how much time I spend with him, I always long for more. My friends like him and say that he and I are a good match. We have discussed marriage, (He asked me to marry him a few months ago) and pretty much agree that we are going to get married after I get through with college. Everything is SO perfect, except for the fact that he is 32. (12 years difference) My mother thinks that I am rebelling against her and my dad, and she refuses to even TRY to like him. How can I show her that this love is real, and that I'm not "rebelling" ? Am I insane for falling in love with someone who is 12 years older than me anyway? I've already had MANY MANY long talks with my mom, and we always end up at the same place we started, so it seems that talking won't do the trick. Any suggestions welcome... thank you in advance -jacquelyn Link to post Share on other sites
terri Posted November 16, 1999 Share Posted November 16, 1999 Hi there.... That sounds like there is some serious problems going on. My mother and step father are almost 20 years apart and I refused to accept it at first. But after about a year of them dating, I finally realized that in their hearts they do love each other. I had also realized what true love was and that age shouldnt matter. If I were you I would totally go for it because it sounds like there is a good grounding there. If your parents refuse to accept it they must not understand your love. You love him, not his age. They need to accept your happiness or realize that they could lose you. You cant be lonely forever! Hi, I am 20 years old and have been dating a marvelous man for 1 and a half years. He is my best friend, we can talk about anything. We spend as much time as we can together, and no matter how much time I spend with him, I always long for more. My friends like him and say that he and I are a good match. We have discussed marriage, (He asked me to marry him a few months ago) and pretty much agree that we are going to get married after I get through with college. Everything is SO perfect, except for the fact that he is 32. (12 years difference) My mother thinks that I am rebelling against her and my dad, and she refuses to even TRY to like him. How can I show her that this love is real, and that I'm not "rebelling" ? Am I insane for falling in love with someone who is 12 years older than me anyway? I've already had MANY MANY long talks with my mom, and we always end up at the same place we started, so it seems that talking won't do the trick. Any suggestions welcome... thank you in advance -jacquelyn Link to post Share on other sites
Cici Posted November 16, 1999 Share Posted November 16, 1999 Hi, My mom and dad are 22 years apart in age. When they married, she was 19 and he was 41. They will have been together for 32 years, next March. In every other country besides the US, age difference between couples are accepted, condoned, even expected! We live in a country that not only discriminates based on race, religion, and tax bracket, but also age! If you feel happy, go with your heart. You can't live your life for your parents. Make it clear to your mom that he is in your life, whether she likes it or not, and if she wants to be part of that, you'll be ecstatic, but if she wants to shut you out of her life, you won't change just for her. You are an adult. Good luck! Hi, I am 20 years old and have been dating a marvelous man for 1 and a half years. He is my best friend, we can talk about anything. We spend as much time as we can together, and no matter how much time I spend with him, I always long for more. My friends like him and say that he and I are a good match. We have discussed marriage, (He asked me to marry him a few months ago) and pretty much agree that we are going to get married after I get through with college. Everything is SO perfect, except for the fact that he is 32. (12 years difference) My mother thinks that I am rebelling against her and my dad, and she refuses to even TRY to like him. How can I show her that this love is real, and that I'm not "rebelling" ? Am I insane for falling in love with someone who is 12 years older than me anyway? I've already had MANY MANY long talks with my mom, and we always end up at the same place we started, so it seems that talking won't do the trick. Any suggestions welcome... thank you in advance -jacquelyn Link to post Share on other sites
Lianne Posted November 16, 1999 Share Posted November 16, 1999 PLEASE, there is nothing wrong with you, I don't care how old you are people are people and to find someone you love and loves you is enough for your parents to accept him. If they can't do that, go against them, i know they're your parents, and you love them, but why would you rebel with something that would only directly affect your future.PLEASE! As you get older you have to move away from them and spend your life with someone(s) else or alone, and this is gonna be your life so do what YOU want and don't question you own sanity because your parents aren't looking beneath the surface of his age. Link to post Share on other sites
Jacquelyn Posted November 17, 1999 Share Posted November 17, 1999 Thank you for all your advice, it really has helped! -jacquelyn Link to post Share on other sites
fun lovin' Posted November 19, 1999 Share Posted November 19, 1999 HI! Age really doesn't matter! I am 25 and in love with a wonderful man who is 42. I never even knew how old he was until about three months ago and we met over a year ago. We have so much in common and enjoy each others company so much that the age difference becomes obsolete! If you're on the same page, who cares if you were born in the same decade! As far as your parents go -- well we all need the support of our families. But we also need someone to spend our lives with. Families love us no matter what and so what ever your decision, they will come around and eventually accept your man for who he is and what he means to you. They will become comfortable with the whole age thing and be thankful that you followed your heart. After all, it is your life and your happiness we are talking about! Link to post Share on other sites
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