Friend is addicted to weed, its destroying his relationships

[RocketMan2]

Hey everyone,

 

My friend is pretty much addicted to smoking weed, and its destroying his life

 

Its hard for him to quit because its so easy for him to do it. Hes had a hard day at work, and i know all day hes just thinking "i cant wait to get home for a joint". I lives with this super stoner who's never going to quit, and they encourage each other. He is on about moving back home (parents) soon because he needs to save up some money, so maybe that will help him.

 

Hes neglecting all his friends (apart from the stoners he mongs out with) and especially his gf who is getting pretty p*ssed off with it all.

 

She loves him and wants to help him, and Im his mate and want to help him too, but how do you go about it?

 

He's really really stubborn, proper Alpha male guy. You can never give him constructive criticisim, especially not when hes always wasted.

 

He needs a kick in the ass to get him moving> I was talking to his gf and she was suggesting she 'leaves him' for a bit, knowing that she doesnt want to, but just to shock him into action, but he'd just be too wasted to even care. I know deep down he really likes her, because i can remember when he was trying to get with her he'd never shut up about her!

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[whichwayisup]

He may have to his rockbottom and suffer some consquences before he changes.

 

Maybe a family and friends intervention would help?

[DyingHeart]

Except, I was that person. I started out on pain killers for my apendectomy and when I couldn't get anymore, I opted for weed, since it's widely available. They say you can't be addicted to it, but it's the mental addiction that gets ya. I ignored my friends, my fiance, everyone. I had to hit rock bottom to realize that I was going nowhere doing this. Though my fiance and I aren't together now, but years ago he threatend to leave if I didn't stop and I didn't want that to happen, so I just stopped. Maybe that's what he needs to do. People say it's just weed, it won't do any harm, but it does, and I think a little tough love will be the best way to go. I wish you all well and I hope he can over come this.

 

Chrissi

[emmaUK]

lol from my past experience i wouldnt even bother trying anything,

they will only give it up when they are good and ready and not before.

if u try to make them give up then they just end up sneaking around and lying about it. maybe in some cases .. shock tactics will work but most of the time they will say they dont give a **** and choose the weed.

its really horrible to date someone who's life revolvs around weed n u know they are round constant temptation with the ppl they hang around with.... also u cant talk 2 them about anything becuase they are very easily irritated and can switch at the drop of a hat.. so to keep the peace i learnd to not say anything.

 

weed is a bad thing.. i cant say i have never smoked it coz i used to smoke regular but it messed my head up and now i suffer from panic attacks n if i even have 1 pull on a joint now... i get super parro and think awful things like the world is ending or im dying etc etc

 

as the above person said.... itl prob only be when he hits rock bottom that he decides its time 2 quit

[littlekitty]

also u cant talk 2 them about anything becuase they are very easily irritated and can switch at the drop of a hat.. so to keep the peace i learnd to not say anything.

 

Really? As a former long term daily user, I can't say I ever experienced that? If anything weed tends to make people more laid back rather that more irritable?

 

With regards to the OP: There's little you can do unfortunately. As someone else mentioned there is no physical addiction to weed, only mental. In some ways that makes it more difficult, as it becomes a inate desire and need to smoke. I also couldn't wait for the end of the day to have a joint. Most days I didn't wait until the end of the day, I had one at lunch. All through this time I held down a good job and proceeded with my career.

 

An ex tried to get me to stop by giving me an ultimatum. I personally didn't want to stop then. I didn't want to loose him either, but I didn't see a need to stop smoking. Instead I promised I would try and ended up just hiding it for a bit until eventually I couldn't be bothered anymore. We broke up for other reasons in the end, but an ultimatum probably won't work for your friend. It might - but I doubt it.

 

You have to be ready to give up. I had no desire or need to give up for many many years (15 or more). It was only on meeting my partner, getting engaged and planning my wedding that I started to think about stopping. I didn't want to raise a child still smoking. I didn't want to be a smoking parent. Plus the financial costs were becoming prohibative. Especially if I want to get out of years of debt to have a child. My partner never once has forced me or even asked me to give up. Instead he calmly voiced his concerns about my health, and about us having children. He then left me to my own devices.

 

I have now stopped smoking completely. There was no withdrawal or any such thing. The only thing I find is I have much more time on my hands since I no longer have to stop to skin up every half hour or so!

 

But I had a good reason to stop. It was time for me. And likely you'll need to wait until your friend has good reason and it's the right time for him.

[emmaUK]

Really? As a former long term daily user, I can't say I ever experienced that? If anything weed tends to make people more laid back rather that more irritable?

 

no i didnt mean when they were actually stoned they get angry easily.....i found with 3 BF's who were regular weed smokers that when they hadnt had a joint for a few hours or longer.. thats when the trouble started.

 

i lived with my daughters dad and his mum for a while... his mum was on her death bed dying of cancer and we were both taking care of her.

he was such a total irritable ba***rd and used to have these massive tantrums if he hadnt had a smoke for a few hours that his mum was giving him money every day so he could be smoking it constantly 24/7.

 

i also noticed that if my ex's went cold turkey n gave it up for a while that after a small period of not smoking it .. their general mood would be alot better and they wouldnt flip at something so minor or totaly switch something i said round in their head to make me look like i had said/done something really bad when in reality i had said something totaly normal and any other person would have heard it exaclty how i meant it

[blind_otter]

AS with addiction to any substance, the addict has to realize that they need to stop. The consequences have to get dire enough for them to realize what they are doing to themselves. There's not much anyone else can do besides be there to be supportive when they decide to quit.

[littlekitty]

no i didnt mean when they were actually stoned they get angry easily.....i found with 3 BF's who were regular weed smokers that when they hadnt had a joint for a few hours or longer.. thats when the trouble started.

 

i lived with my daughters dad and his mum for a while... his mum was on her death bed dying of cancer and we were both taking care of her.

he was such a total irritable ba***rd and used to have these massive tantrums if he hadnt had a smoke for a few hours that his mum was giving him money every day so he could be smoking it constantly 24/7.

 

i also noticed that if my ex's went cold turkey n gave it up for a while that after a small period of not smoking it .. their general mood would be alot better and they wouldnt flip at something so minor or totaly switch something i said round in their head to make me look like i had said/done something really bad when in reality i had said something totaly normal and any other person would have heard it exaclty how i meant it

 

 

Ahhh I get you now! I guess yes I saw glimpses of the same thing in myself. In fact now I've given up at the moment I'm a moody bitch! I hope that in time this will go, and that it's not a permanent change!!

[jetsetjessica]

I might be mistaken, but everything I've ever read or heard in school, and rehabs, and other places supports this. There are drugs you can be physically(and mentally) addicted to, like heroin or crack. Then there are drugs that don't make your physical body need the substance, but your mind does, like meth or ecstacy. But there was nothing ever proven then a person can develop a mental or physical addiction to weed. Sure, the person likes it, I becomes a big part of their day. But if and when they stop smoking, they won't get "weed cravings" or anything. I really don't see a problem with your friend having ajoint now and then, but you need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him its okay to have an occasional joint (even if its not, because he will anyways), but its not okay to blow off his friends who don't smoke and its not okay to let it get in the way of things that are (or should be) important to him, like his relationship with his girlfriend. I think if he had someone straight up tell him the problems he is creating, he might realize on his own he needs to set some rules for himself, like only smoking on weekends, or just making sure it doesn't get in the way of things he would normally value. Good luck.

[Porn_Guy]

the adage "a friend with weed is a friend indeed" totally applies here...you need to seperate him from his pot-head friends.