Davis Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I went out with my 34 year old ex for three months. Three weeks in, even though we weren't "committed" according to her, she did something with some guy friend. We went out for another two months. Out of the blue she dumped me for her ex, a tweaker. After six weeks, she dumped him (supposedly). I saw her at the local hangout and my friend said she was kissing her guy "friend", but I brushed it off. She started emailing me. I decided she made a mistake and would give her another chance. I always had that gut feeling that something was not right. A month later, I saw her kissing this same guy "friend" at the local hangout. Oh, but he's just a friend, he was kissing her and she was drunk and didn't know what was going on. I wanted to believe her (or I wanted to ignore the flags, but I didn't). ThanksGiving week I got into her email and she was fooling around with this same "friend". I stayed cause I liked her and I went and slept with my ex after I found out what she had done, so I wasn't any better. (I know!! Poor move on my part, so with hold the comments on this one!). Everything appeared fine through New Years. Then "something" was going on, I could tell. Make a long story short, she went again, to the local hangout, got drunk and hooked up with a new guy. She later emailed me to tell me he was "Mr. Right". Whatever. Remember: past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. I ignored all the signs and flags and went ahead with my "feelings". Don't make the same mistake! Once a cheater, always a cheater! Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Yup, Cheaters will never change. P.S. whats a tweaker? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Davis Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 U.S. slang! Someone that does Methamphetamines, crack, crank, speed; they "tweak" out. Link to post Share on other sites
RocketMan2 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Ahhh A smack-head lol Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Screw the fact that she is a cheater.. the fact that she is a teaker is all you needed to know.. Why even date her ?? Then you expect her to be monogamous ? I would never have dated a tweaker.. In this world we live in you get what you pay for.. Link to post Share on other sites
daisydo Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Wow.. I am surprised that she is 34 years old and is behaving like a 17 year old. She needs some help. The mere fact that she would date a tweaker means she has absolutely ZERO self esteem. That is probably why she cheats so much. She sounds like a train-wreck TBH. Get yourself out of the wreckage completely. No contact is a no brainer. I am glad you realize that she will never change. There are great girls out there who are loyal and will stick by your side. I have never cheated on anyone in my life and I never will because I know what that feels like. Now you do too and can take that knowledge and experience with you. Use it to make yourself into a better person and try not to harbor too much resentment. It is a life experience, you learned something out of it, time to move on. Take care and stay away from tweakers and cheaters! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Davis Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 Hey Art, you misunderstood. Her ex was a tweaker, not her. She apparently was a player that likes to binge drink and screw around. Thanks for the last part of your reply! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Hey Art, you misunderstood. Her ex was a tweaker, not her. She apparently was a player that likes to binge drink and screw around. Thanks for the last part of your reply! Sorry.. I misread your OP... Well then.. think about the type of person that would WANT to be around a tweaker.. She knew her ex was using yet she is always hanging with him.. Why ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Davis Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 Daisydo, thanks for the reply. Oh, she claimed that she didn't know for a long time that he was a tweaker, he hid it well. After he hit her, she took him back after that! I know, I know!! WTF was I thinking?? If you met her, you would really like her. All my friends liked her. She has a career, nice home, nice car and is very nice. But, I found out the truth, she's a middle-class binge drinking whore!! I acted like her when I was 25. I cheated on my sweet girlfriend with a blonde hottie and dumped my girlfriend. The hottie later cheated on me. I think you should break up with someone completely and then move on to seeing someone else, not find someone else and think they're a better deal so fck the person you were seeing and sleeping with. A dog or a stranger would have gotten better treatment than I got from this girl! But, hey, I guess I'm just outdated in my thinking!! Link to post Share on other sites
daisydo Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Daisydo, thanks for the reply. Oh, she claimed that she didn't know for a long time that he was a tweaker, he hid it well. After he hit her, she took him back after that! I know, I know!! WTF was I thinking?? If you met her, you would really like her. All my friends liked her. She has a career, nice home, nice car and is very nice. But, I found out the truth, she's a middle-class binge drinking whore!! I acted like her when I was 25. I cheated on my sweet girlfriend with a blonde hottie and dumped my girlfriend. The hottie later cheated on me. I think you should break up with someone completely and then move on to seeing someone else, not find someone else and think they're a better deal so fck the person you were seeing and sleeping with. A dog or a stranger would have gotten better treatment than I got from this girl! But, hey, I guess I'm just outdated in my thinking!! No you're not outdated in your thinking. There are many people who feel the same way - I'm one of them! It is one thing to act so carelessly when you are young but when you are a full-fledged adult it is another beast entirely. Now you know what to look for in a person - someone who shares your same beliefs with regards to respect, maturity and fidelity. I know what is like to be with someone with a drinking problem also. That is a very difficult situation but it is often a symptom of deeper issues. Eventually you will find someone who can drink in moderation and have fun at the same time! It must have been confusing to meet someone who on the surface appears to have it all together but inside is a straight up mess. Don't feel deceived by this - people are good at hiding their negative traits (ie: your ex, the tweaker). It takes time to find someone with a genuine attitude who is upfront with who they are but with patience and time you can and will do it. Just don't give up! And don't give up on bettering yourself. Now is the perfect time to take a look at your priorities and do what you need to to make yourself a happier, balanced person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Davis Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 Daisydo, thanks for the advice. Here are some issues I'm still dealing with regarding her. A few days after I quit calling her, I got a dear john email. "u must have heard something about me and jay on friday night" (yeah btch, i got into your email with your password). "we just had such great chemistry together" (yeah and you were drunk). "i wanted to let you know that i never loved you nor would i ever fall in love with you" (nice, huh?) "I would not have done this if i respected you more". (oh, so i'm sweet to you and never did anything wrong, but you disrespect me and fck me over?) "i'm going to pursue this relationship with jay" (thanks btch). "i will not be contacting you again, so please respect my wishes also" (i wish you would get run over by a bus). Any thoughts on why she sent a shtty email and how i should think about her remarks? What's the point in saying hurtful things? Link to post Share on other sites
Arianna72 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 The point in saying hurtful things is exactly that; to hurt you. Clearly she has some issues and I am sorry you have had to deal with this. It sounds like you are going to be much better off without her. Link to post Share on other sites
daisydo Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Daisydo, thanks for the advice. Here are some issues I'm still dealing with regarding her. A few days after I quit calling her, I got a dear john email. "u must have heard something about me and jay on friday night" (yeah btch, i got into your email with your password). "we just had such great chemistry together" (yeah and you were drunk). "i wanted to let you know that i never loved you nor would i ever fall in love with you" (nice, huh?) "I would not have done this if i respected you more". (oh, so i'm sweet to you and never did anything wrong, but you disrespect me and fck me over?) "i'm going to pursue this relationship with jay" (thanks btch). "i will not be contacting you again, so please respect my wishes also" (i wish you would get run over by a bus). Any thoughts on why she sent a shtty email and how i should think about her remarks? What's the point in saying hurtful things? She is probably hurt that you stopped calling her and is trying to reassert herself in a position of power by demeaning you and emasculating you. She wants you to beg for her back so she can drunkenly walk all over you again in stilettos. Do not let her do this to you! Ignore it and ignore her. She is vindictive and cruel. Iron-clad NC! Stay strong and delete her phone number, block her email address, delete her from Myspace, whatever you need to do. You do not need to be exposed to that kind of hate-speak during your time of healing. Take care and try and put this whole messy situation out of your head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Davis Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 Arianna (ha! that's my old, old ex girlfriend's name!) Yes to be hurtful cause she knows she was a btch! She even admitted in her email to me that "I have no good excuse for my behavior". Right! It's just that you are a drunk ho! Daisydo, I don't know if she's hurt that I stopped calling. Maybe. I think she does care about me. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she's a conscience-less whore, but despite her drunken, foul behavior, I know she has a good side or I would have never been with her. It was that good side that attracted me to her, and now I see the whole package. I think it was more so that she knew I busted out on her drunken, cheating behavior that friday night with jay. She had no choice but to go on the offense. She is SO dumb, she doesn't even remember that I have her email and myspace password and have had them since summer!! (I know, shame on me for snooping, but it helped cover my as**). She had know idea what I really knew, so she was guessing. Actually, I knew she was kissing one guy earlier in the night and then hooked up with jay. What else could she do accept try to take control and dump me when I quit calling her and I was done. If I hadn't gotten into her emails, I don't know if she would have told me about jay, just burned me that week, strung me and him along or what. I agree, she knew she lost control of me and lost control of her game and that made her mad. As for the email and the mean comments, just a lot of sh**t. I would say she did love me .... maybe i should say that she cared about me but is incapable of loving someone. Oh, and of course he's "mr. right". Yeah, mr. right now, mr. this month, mr. temporary excitement. What else could she say to try to justify her behavior? Oh, I think you're also right that she wants me to chase her, part of the reason for all the "inflammatory" statements ... to get a reaction even though she claimed I should not contact her. That's part of her game and the trap all the other fools fell into after she dumped them. Not me. Game off. I don't think she'll email or contact me. Not maybe until summer after she has gone through a few more guys and is lonely or concludes she burned a good one. Thanks everyone!! All good points! This was therapeutic and helpful! Let me know if you have more insight. Davis. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts