Am I being played or am i just impatient?

[littlepeanut07]

Ok, ladies & gentlemen. I am newly single, was with my husband 11 years, have two kids, had a great business, home and nice life until my husband found his 21 year old girlfriend. Which by the way hasn't turned out the way he thought, but that's another story...karma.

In the two and a half years that i have been divorced from my husband, I have stayed single, to repair my life. I did have a rebound relationship that lasted about a year and a half but it was very platonic and we are actually best friends now. In any event, i consider myself to have stayed single and done some great work on myself. I have been on dates, but didn't like anyone enough to pursue and of course what does that mean, they pursued me...and turned me off. Well around New Years I decided it might be time to enter the world of dating, but where does one woman, who works full time and has all married friends meet men, yes, the internet. I joined match.com and honestly had a good choice of men, i was in the midst of talking to three different men when i chose one of them to focus on. Not the best looking, but definately had personality and charm. So we talked, he was very pursuasive without being too pushy, he was attentive, funny and interested. With apprehension i decided to meet with him, we had a great first date...after our date we decided to meet again and he let me know he was very excited for our next date...second date went great, so we made another, he let me know again that he could'nt wait, third date was a little different as it was more involved, spent more time together and alcohol was involved, and i am not a drinker. I will save the details but will say that we did end up in bed, which by the way was great, but a little too soon for me as i had been holding out for a long time, but there was a good chemistry and i fell for the moment! I felt horrible the next day and day after, but survived, he assured me that nothing had changed, he was still just as interested, but i wasn't feeling that...my insecurity? maybe! i had a hard time with his lack of contact over the weekend, and on Monday i let him know, he couldn't understand what was wrong, but i knew something just wasn't the same...my fault...maybe. We talked more about it and decided to have a fourth date on Monday, we called it a do-over. I went with the intention of dinner and then home, and of course, b/c of that darn chemistry, that did not happen, we did have dinner but i

 

went home with him, we ended up in bed and i slept over. I felt great, until I noticed a bit of uneasiness in him. Offered me my coffee "to go". I took that as a bad sign, but tried to laugh it off. He did call me that morning to see if i got home ok. Tuesday i didn't hear from him so i sent him an email and didn't hear back so i called, and he didn't pick up, finally i heard from him and he was so distant. Wed and Thurs same thing. I wasn't harassing, but i definately made some contact...all while wondering, what happened to that guy that was

 

dying to see me, meet me, spend time with me, get to know me, etc. what happened? so i sent him a short email asking him what had changed, and he said he didn't feel any different, he said "I still dig you, would still drive to Alaska to take you to lunch, its just circumstances". and so i left it alone, i figured if he didn't want to spend time with me he would have said so there. Anyway, i got home last night and texted him "do you think we had sex too soon" and he wrote back "not too soon at all". But that was it. I didn't hear from him at all today and decided that either I am not giving him a chance to call or ask me out or i have been seriously played. I need advice, am not afraid to hear where i have gone wrong and i welcome anything anyone has to say.

I admit my insecurities of sleeping with him too soon may be playing a big part here. But please, any advice is so welcomed.

Not neurotic, just confused.