My now ex binge drinks and cheats!

[Davis]

I wanted to get some perpective from people in this group. A few weeks ago my now ex 34 year old gf went out "with the girls". Apparently it was planned for her to meet up with this guy who is interested in her. She ends up getting drunk and kissing with one guy, then hooking up with the guy she was to meet. When I found out she hooked up, I quit calling her. I could not (obviously) go on with her because she lies, cheats and binge drinks. This second guy is now her new man. They have "such a strong chemistry" according to her shtty email she sent me a few days later. A couple of months ago she was drunk and out with friends. I saw her kissing a different guy "friend". She and I drank on our first date and (guess what?) we slept together. I guess I'm trying to see if any of you have had similar situations with your S.O. drinking. I'm not trying to excuse her behavior on alcohol, but I'm trying to understand she has a drinking problem and more?? I am trying to find out if this is alcoholic behavior.

[westernxer]

Good thing she's your ex.

 

Now move on!

[RecordProducer]

She definitely hasd a drinking problem? I had it too, but never ever slept with someone I didn't like (as much as I remeber! ).

 

What do you mean she cheated? On whom ? You? She is your ex!!!

[Davis]

Record Producer, since I found out she was cheating she is my ex. We were together when she went out drinking and cheating. I am assuming her behavior is an indication of a drinking problem and/or more.

[RecordProducer]

Record Producer, since I found out she was cheating she is my ex. We were together when she went out drinking and cheating. I am assuming her behavior is an indication of a drinking problem and/or more.

I see. No, not all of us cheated while having drinking problems. I made a fool of myself many times, but not that...

[Davis]

Hey Record. I see. The problem is when she drinks she's a ho? The booze just lowers her inhibitions. Maybe she uses booze for an excuse to be a ho. I've been really drunk before and never screwed around on a girlfriend. Maybe she's a ho and a loser? Has mental problems besides binge drinking?

[Guest]

Certainly there are issues and it is certainly easy to label a female who behaves like this. Of course,as is the eternal hypocrisy, a guy who does it is a player.

 

Did you speak to her before you split about it? Seems to me you might be looking for answers in the wrong places. One thing is certain from my experience, she probably wouldn't have behaved like this if she hadn't been drinking. You may never screwed around when drinking- but drinking has very different effects on men and women. Every individual is different- there is no typical alcoholic behaviour except that it causes us and our loved ones hurt and pain.

 

To me, it sounds best if you just move on. if she has a problem, she will have to deal with it. Good luck.

[Guest]

Lets enlighten some.

shall we.

Most alcohol abusers do not do this just to lower their walls.

They ususally have issues, like self worth.

Most have lower self esteem because of various things in their lives.

I should know, i live with one.

Alanon is a good place for answers or a local alcoholics anonymous group.

She has issues, yes, and they stem from something deeper than you.

If she cared she would try to cover it up and then put a big blinder up for you to not see things.

But, unfortunatley she does not seem to care if she is doing it over and over.

Thank your lucky stars you are not involved any longer and by all means, if you care and are still friends, get her in the direction of getting help.

 

 

I wanted to get some perpective from people in this group. A few weeks ago my now ex 34 year old gf went out "with the girls". Apparently it was planned for her to meet up with this guy who is interested in her. She ends up getting drunk and kissing with one guy, then hooking up with the guy she was to meet. When I found out she hooked up, I quit calling her. I could not (obviously) go on with her because she lies, cheats and binge drinks. This second guy is now her new man. They have "such a strong chemistry" according to her shtty email she sent me a few days later. A couple of months ago she was drunk and out with friends. I saw her kissing a different guy "friend". She and I drank on our first date and (guess what?) we slept together. I guess I'm trying to see if any of you have had similar situations with your S.O. drinking. I'm not trying to excuse her behavior on alcohol, but I'm trying to understand she has a drinking problem and more?? I am trying to find out if this is alcoholic behavior.

[Davis]

Hi guest. Thanks for the perspective. I've been struggling with this issue of her behavior and why on and off for the last two months. I have to agree with what you said. She does have some deep rooted problems. But it still made me feel like sh**t when it ended suddenly with her cheating on me. She probably doesn't care that she keeps repeating patterns as long as she does not have to face herself and her problems. No, we are no longer friends nor on speaking terms. She would not listen to me nor anyone else about getting help regardless.

 

I've concluded part of the reason that she decided she didn't want to be involved with me anymore was that I told her before Christmas that I was going to quit drinking. Not that I was drinking heavily, maybe a couple of times a week, but I didn't like how it made me hung over for two days and was affecting my work and motivation in life. I think she wants a party boy and that is what she found in her new guy. Plus, if I quit drinking, she might have had to look at her own drinking issues and more. Thanks for you input and best of luck to you in your own situation.