i cheated??..i need ..

[lovelygrl]

ok so this is the problem!...i had been with my ex for about 2 years...i love him so much, he was the perfect guy any girl could ever ask for, seriously, he helped me so much...he helped me grow and be a tougher person! thanks to him i am the person i am right now...well..about 6 months ago i went out of town..i started hanging out with a male friend that I have known for abour 4 years now!..one night he decides to rush me!>..i right away pushed him away and slapped him..i was seriously offended because he knew i had a boyfrien and iwas so scared to tell my bf because I knew he was goign to break up with me because he is totally agains cheating..well I didnt talk to that guy for only 3 days...because he apoligized after..so i didnt want to be a bitch and i kept hanging out with him..but nothign more ever happened!...so i left that town and i came back to my hometown...let me tell u that my bf knew i was friends with him and also knew i would always hang out with him..and nothing more..he didnt really like that idea at all!...well when i came back...2 months later..i still kept in touch wit that guy!...nothing more...but the problem here is that we would talk everynight..the most we would go with out talking was like 3 days!..yes that was bad..but at first I didnt think much of it because since I never saw that guy i didnt think much of it i jus tsaw it as a simple friendship!..but NOW i realize i was wrong!...i had built an emotional relationship wiht this guy!...my bf did not like none of this!...so i promised him i was never goign to talk tohim again..i even told the other guy i coulndt keep talking to him becuase it was causin problems wiht my boyfriend..the guy I love wiht all my heart...he seemed to be fine iwth it!..but he still kept calling me..an instead of me ignoring and not calling back i would pick up or call later!..that was my mistake..ive alwyas been way too nice to ppl im not suppose to talk to anymore...i didnt want to be a bitch AGAIN!..well recently my ex found out that I had still talked to him...and also found out about the kiss or more like a peck that happened like 5 months ago, he was devestated!...and does not believe that it was only a peck and that i pushed him away!...or just doesnt believe anything!...i feel like i lost him..he doesnt want to talk to him anymore...does not want to hear fr

 

om me or anythign he want to pretend im dead!..i know he is hurting and way more than what IM hurting...i broke his heart..i was everythin to him...he did so much for me! i was the love of his life and he was mine....and he is everythign to me..i messed up!...i was goign through a phase that dont ever want to go through again..i just wish i could get him back!...i dont knwo waht to do..i know i need to give him time!..sometimes I think that he doesnt want to talk to me right now becasue he is so mad and then later he will realize that ge can forgive me!...he says he cant because he is alwyas going ot think about that!...i know its true!>.and i am willing to help him go through it!...i want him to give me another chance to see if things will work out..and if they dont well

 

then at least we know we tried it aagain..i dont want us to hav regrets on what if!..i need help wht should I do..I know i messed up but I really love him and know I will never dot ha tagain..because I completely stopped talking to the other guy..he has called me and i havent answered i dont want to talk to the person that in a way had to do wtih this break up..because he will always remind me of my love!>..wht can i do

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