perfectescape Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 My girlfriend of almost two(2) years broke up with me at the end of September and started seeing someone right away...I suspect she might of started with this guy a few weeks before she broke up with me, but didn't know how to end our relationship...I think she is still with this guys almost four(4) months later...For the first two(2) months of the breakup, I attempted to contact her many times and she didn't respond back to emails,text or calls...My last email to her two(2) months after the breakup stated that I would not contact her anymore and I've held to that standard for almost two(2) months...Out of the clouds a text came in right before New Years day wishing me happy holidays, which was a month after I performed NC...I didn't respond back to the text and haven't heard from her now in almost a month after the text....January 23 will have been four(4) months since we last seen each other... Now it's my birthday on the 25th of January and I'm wondering how to best handle the situation if she contacts me through email or a text message...Understand that I would love for her to come back but want to handle the situation that would give me the best shot of getting her back without looking like I've been waiting and missing her.... PS - When I got the text page last time a month after NC, it brought me a lot of pain and back a month or so in my recovery.. Link to post Share on other sites
perfectescape Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 On the 25th of January she did text me with just a "Happy birthday" which I reponded to around 6 hours later with the following "Thanks for the warm thought...It was nice to hear from you"....Later on that evening she texted back another message stating "I meant what I said...You deserve the best don't settle for less....I then texted her back at 1am in the morning now on the 26th of January, "Yea, I do deserve the best"....Haven't heard from her now in two nights and I feel like sending her an email telling her "Thanks for remembering my birthday....It was nice to have heard from you" ...Prior to this I went NC since Thanksgiving after trying to contact her for months without a reply from her...So now she has texted me three times since the end of December and I'm not sure why she is doing this, since she has already moved on and is in another relationship...What would be the best way to handle this since I would love a second chance with her...Should I continue to go NC since she has connected me 3x when I've done this or try to email/text her and start up a conversation? Link to post Share on other sites
loveratud Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Keeping in mind that I myself am hanging onto a relationship with a questionable future, but the outlook isn't nearly as poor as yours. You suspect that she cheated on you for several weeks before she got the nerve to tell you? And she's been with this guy for months? Why would you take her back? I mean, love is love, and conquers all, but if she cheated on you, that's not love. I would think that if something similar had happened to me, it would have been a much cleaner break for me. That's a reason to give up. That's a reason to hate someone. That's a reason to move on and find someone better. It sounds as if you've trusted your heart to the wrong girl. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
perfectescape Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 loveratud vbmenu_register("postmenu_1066854", true); you make a good point, however I've done my share of things that should of not been done in the relationship...She forgave me many times and she left due to me not being available for her when she needed me most.... Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Perfect, Why is there even a question as to how you should proceed with her texts. Unless I am wrong....I did not hear anything in her texts to think that she has finally come around and determined that she made a mistake breaking up with you and wants to sit down and work through things. Did you hear that? What do you hope would happen if you emailed her again? You said thank you once, do you really need to say it again? You said it set you back a month the first time contact was made.....do you want to be brought back to day one and have to heal all over again? I know its hard yet realize that if she wanted you back (and you say you think she is still together with this other guy) she would do anything to ensure that you know it. She said you deserve the best......she meant it I am sure and also meant that you deserve someone other than her. Link to post Share on other sites
perfectescape Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Thanks UPSET you put it into perspective...Was just not sure why she would have even texted me if she had no interest...In terms of my email, my thoughts were that she would have given me more information as to why she started texting me...She also thinks that I've gone on so may be affraid of rejection as any hope that she had would be gone...Sometimes it's better not to know...She also may have been testing the waters as to what my status was...Because truthfully, I would not contact her if I was happy in another relationship...Would you ? In terms of what she said to me about that I deserve the best, why would she even care if she is so happy??...What she said was an independant page later on my birthday Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted January 28, 2007 Share Posted January 28, 2007 Perfect... It was my ex-bf's birthday this past week and I texted him a Happy Birthday. I didn't do this because I wanted to be with him, nor does he take it as such. I texted him it because we are still casual acquaintances (as we see eachother from time to time in the same circles). Don't assume contact means the person wants anything more than just to wish you well. If they want more than that, they'll certainly let you know in plain english... I'm sorry that you're hurting. I'm hurting too but over a different person. I know it sucks to hear things like this, but hopefully we'll all get closer to finding the ones we are meant to be with. Link to post Share on other sites
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