Author rose45 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 licking, not looking Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 hey i thank you for the reply Listen----Dont you think under certain circumstances..trust can only go so far..thats like me saying...oh your friend who is a girl is sleeping over and is going to sleep right next you..its ok b/c i trust you.. I just feel like given the situation and the environment a b/f or g/f is going into..dont i have a right to say..this is more than just trust..this is a pervocative event and i have a right to be there with you seeing as though you arent single, and free as a bird. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Yeah I know without even looking. There are hot dog rodeos and alot of show me your tits, etc. Its pretty wild, out of control. Thats the whole idea. I get it. I understand completely. I just think you would have a miserable time (like the Starman said) and you would have risked too much and its not worth it. You could have spent the money on something else. Why not take seperate vacations and go to California and get a tan? Buy a nice piece of jewelry. A new iPod. Pay off the credit card bill. Anything really. Try to be an optimist okay. You are a sweet kid. It does no good to look at life as a pessimist. It will just break your spirit. You have alot of time invested in the man, and I know you just want to protect that, but its all in his control. Thats the one thing you have to understand about a partners ability to cheat. It is not in your control. Its not about you. If he was going to cheat he would find a way. Also it is really unlikely. When my BF came home from his races I would have the house all clean for him, make a cake to celebrate his speed records. Eight candles for doing the quarter mile in eight seconds on his street bike. I found all kinds of ways to occupy my time. In the end he was more worried about me having too much fun because I was just too easygoing for him to believe that. Most GF's would pitch a fit. Make them wonder. lol. Take care rosie Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 I wouldnt have a miserable time if i were with my b/f though. Link to post Share on other sites
Limerent Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Hello Rose, I can see that no amount of positive advice will sway your insecurities. You are stuck in a repetitive loop inside of your mind. Those images you begged us to look at were meant to persuade us to see it from your point of view, those images have done nothing but haunt your mind. You dont get it now, but you will someday. No amount of you trying to thwart his interactions with other females is going to stop him from cheating if he really truly wants to. Knowing that, I propose that you let this issue drop. And tell him to have fun, and you will see him when he gets back. Then buy a ticket for yourself and surprise him down there. I can see the "seeing is believing" is your philosophy. Catching him down there off guard and in the element should answer any concerns you might have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 you really think suprising him down there is the best solution and just be like look i am here...i dont think thats necessarily the best path..i want him to know i am coming and see why it is i want to come. Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Thats a great idea, until some biker thug grabs her up while she is searching a sea of humanity and motorcycles for her boyfriend. What or who will protect her? And if she gets hurt, raped or murdered and dumped in a ditch, it would only be because of her own stupidity. It's foolish. It is not a safe place for someone who is not aware of herself and her surroundings. THINK before you do anything rash or foolish, rosie. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted January 24, 2007 Author Share Posted January 24, 2007 Yeah, i just wouldnt do that...show up randomly and be like"i'm here" lol I'm debating about what to do..i feel like if he is going to this, i should be welcome to go as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Limerent Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I'm debating about what to do..i feel like if he is going to this, i should be welcome to go as well. Why? Because he is doing it? Thats a bit immature. You know the only reason you want to go is because he is going. You just want to keep an eye on him and nothing more, and he knows this. I can understand his hesitancy over taking you along. He knows you will be hawking over his shoulder every opportunity you get. I wouldnt want a lurking, insecure gf ready to punish me everytime a pretty girl with bouncy tits walk by. Furthermore, those same women are still going to be there, flashing their tits whether or not you show up. And you cannot possibly control his mind, nor their actions. Doing so will only result in fights, which is what he is trying to avoid by wanting you to stay behind. Nobody wants an insecure, nagging gf hanging on their shirtails, its creepy and embarrassing. If you keep this distrust up your b/f may view you less as a g/f and more as a nanny, and no man wants a nanny hounding them everytime to want to do something. And if they already have a nanny or a mother, why not look for a gf? I wouldnt have a miserable time if i were with my b/f though. Oh come on now, you dont honestly believe that tripe, do you? You will have a miserable time, because of your jealous nature, and in turn, your bf will also suffer and have a miserable time as well. Which will probably make him reasses and re-evaluate his relationship with you. Why set yourself up for the inevitable torture? Are you a glutton for punishment or what? Your insecurity is not going to make the naked women go away, no matter how much you wish it were so. You being present doesnt automatically mean that no naked woman is allowed within 50 ft of him. Consider it a good thing, the fact that he doesnt want you to go. He is trying to save the relationship. He knows if you go, things will get out of hand, and could possibly result in the relationship between the two of you ending. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 I think if you are in a relationship..you dont belong going to an event like this alone...and if you really want to go, then you dont tell you uneasy g/f..you say to her well then fly down so you can see its harmless or something along those lines..if i was able to go and he agreed i would make a point not to be attached at the hip to him, i wouldnt want to ruin anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Limerent Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I think if you are in a relationship..you dont belong going to an event like this alone... Yes, but in your opinion, which doesnt mean that it has to be his opinion. With that being said, I do agree with you-to an extent. If it is something that you are uncomfortable with, he should do his best to make you feel more comfortable. you say to her well then fly down so you can see its harmless or something along those lines But why? It will be a lie. Its not harmless to you, and you both know that. Its going to cause a significant strain on your relationship, and he knows this. would make a point not to be attached at the hip to him, And how would you accomplish this without him having the added worry of whats happening to you, and if you are out of harms way? Do you plan to sit at the hotel room for the whole day breaking out in a cold sweat wondering if that half naked waitress that you saw earlier in the day is bouncing her tits in front of his eyes? i wouldnt want to ruin anything. Think for one moment on this sentence. If you were a mature woman who wasnt such an insecure mess, I dont think he would have a problem at all with you going. You mentioned that other wives will be in attendance. Think about those other wives for a moment. Are they insecure, whiny, needy,clingy and jealous? How would you feel if you kept nagging and whining to go to the point that he is so agitated with you that he just calls the whole thing off entirely? You might have gotten what you wanted, but he will be harboring resentment, and that is never good for a relationship. If I were you, I wouldnt push it to that point. I would quietly assess my options. You can stay behind, and seriously contemplate why you want to be in this relationship in the first place, and if you are strong enough to put up with this for another 50 years, or you can buy a ticket down there, and surprise him AT THE HOTEL, with risks to you and your person. Dont you have friends you could spend some time with while he is gone? Could you not get involved in some hobby that burns all of this negative insecure energy you are having? Thats a great idea, until some biker thug grabs her up while she is searching a sea of humanity and motorcycles for her boyfriend. What or who will protect her? Obviously I dont recommed searching a sea of people, but if she knew what hotel he was staying at, she could meet him there. Its a bad idea, but your either going to push and nag him until he calls the whole thing off, or your going to find another way to go anyway, seeing on how you cant seem to let him out of your sight for more than 20 minutes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose45 Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 I think randomly showing up a the hotel is immature. And no..if i was with my b/f at this event knowing this is what goes on I WOULD NOT be nagging him..b/c atleast he didnt say no you arent going too bad for you. I havent even brought this up yet to talk about this..i am waiting for a good time and i would guess in person is better than on the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Limerent Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I think randomly showing up a the hotel is immature And pushing the issue until you get your way isnt?? He doesnt want you to go. Why would you still want to go knowing he doesnt want you to go? If he does give in, and let you go, you know it will be out of obligation only, rather than because he truly wants you to be there. Rose, You KNOW you want to go so that you can keep an eye on him. Dont lie to yourself. You already mentioned that you arent into that kind of thing, and you agreed when he said you didnt belong on a back of a motorcycle. I honestly think that the reason he doesnt want you to go is because he knows that you only want to go to watch him, and try to control his thoughts. If he thought you were genuinely interested in it, I dont think he would say no. What would it hurt to stay behind? Link to post Share on other sites
Romeo Must Die Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 rosie, Limerent gave you some really good advice. PS - You rock, Limerent! I suggest you take the advice and get over it. Stop and read it and let it sink in for ONE MINUTE please. It doesnt even seem like you are giving us respect for taking the time to help you if you choose not to listen. Youre making a new thread about this in the infidfelity forum and the subject has been covered by your peers over and over again in this forum. Its repetative and you are making us insane with your jealousy. Its time to act mature if you expect to maintain a mature relaionship, no matter what environment it is in. Link to post Share on other sites
Limerent Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 rosie, Limerent gave you some really good advice. PS - You rock, Limerent! Thank you, Romeo! I appreciate that. Its repetative and you are making us insane with your jealousy. Its time to act mature if you expect to maintain a mature relaionship, no matter what environment it is in. It is becoming quite obsessive, isnt it? You worded this beautifully... Its time to act mature if you expect to maintain a mature relaionship, no matter what environment it is in Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I didn't read every post and I don't have to look at pictures to know what goes on at a rally. I've been there time and time again. I have lots and lots of pictures from first hand experience. My BF rides a Harley and we attend several rallies and other biker events every year. Yes, there are women there who are nearly naked. Most of them should be covering themselves up because they are not at all pleasant to look at. Yes, the ratio is 100:1 men versus women. Yes, there are sexually oriented games and contests. Yes, there are 1 percenters and yes, those types are dangerous and we stay away from them. I go because my BF wants me to go. We attend with a large group of people who ride together. Some bring spouse/girlfriends some don't. Some of the women in our group have no interest in attending. If the rally or event is a few hours away I ride on the bike. More than a few hours away, we trailer the bike or load her up in the truck bed on a bike stand and tie her down. Very long treks wreak havoc on my knees as it is difficult to adjust them while riding with the need to keep my feet on the footpegs. We stop often and stretch our legs even on the shorter trips. The rally is actually a small part of our trips. Me make an appearance once or twice a day and spend a lot of our time hanging out in the hotel and we also frequent the local bars. I have never been groped or hassled by anyone and most bikers are some of the most kind and caring people I have ever met. We leave the rallies before they are shut down for the day to avoid traffic, and avoid drunken confrontations. WE go to the rallies in a group and I choose to dress conservatively usually opting for a Harley t-shirt as I am not going there to draw attention to myself as many of the ladies obviously are. Maybe traveling in a pack has been what has allowed us to enjoy the festivities without incident. We enjoy watching some of the events and perusing the items sold by the vendors. We have gotten some great deals on otherwise expensive items. We are all very aware that there are a few dangerous people and none of us would be stupid enough to invite violence by getting into anything with 1 percenters. They are easy to spot because most proudly wear patches that make them easily identifiable. Our group keeps to ourselves for the most part, but we have also met many wonderful people. These events are not for everyone. I generally enjoy myself, but equally enjoy myself when we all ride around near home. It's the love of getting in the wind and enjoying the company of people with like interests. As the saying goes, "If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand." It's not always glamorous. Rain hurts like hell at 60 mph. It's cold even on a warm day to be wet in the wind. My hair gets tangled unless I wrap it in leather. Wind burn and sunburn are possible if you don't take the appropriate precautions. Joint pain and saddle soreness can happen. Most of all I hate the helmet, but it's the law in many states and certainly is an important safety issue. Riding is not cheap either. I have boots, a leather jacket, chaps, two pairs of gloves, another lighter synthetic material jacket, clear and tinted glasses, the leather hair wrap, a variety of bandannas and doo-rags. Most of these are necessary, although I admit I have an affinity for my stuff to be pure dee H-D products. My philosophy is you get what you pay for and the hundreds of dollars store carries the best line of riding gear. None of this helps your situation. I'm glad that my BF wants to include me in this very big part of his life. He has said that any girl of his has to love riding. If I didn't want to attend events with him he would be disappointed, but he would definitely continue to go without me. No advice here , but you seemed to want information as to how these things go. Good luck with your dilemma. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 I am a biker and a female!!! I would be more pissed he thought 1,000 was alot to spend on me going with him. LOL Yes, there are alot of partiers and wildness going on at these bike rallies but also there are alot of girlfriends and wives that also go with their men. I would be concerned he didnt want you there. I think if your a loyal man being in that environment wouldnt make you cheat however if he doesnt want you involved Id worry. Just my .02 Link to post Share on other sites
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