Appje Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Hi, I'm new to this forum and I'm quite desperate and broken at the same moment. I've had this relationship with this girl for about 2 months and I've yelled at her in this weekend. Me and my friends had planned a campfire thing at the beach and one of them has told everyone to come. We've already done this 2 weeks ago and it was awesome. So that's why we tried it again last weekend, but everything went just wrong. Too much ppl came, they drank our stuff, eat our stuff, smoke their weed and etc etc. We we're all angry at the guy who told everyone to come. The idea was for us to have fun. Us meaning all of us who has their girlfriend/boyfriend. It wasn't some sort of party who all ppl can come and have a good time. It was just a small gettogether for us. So there we were at the beach and we were all having a bad mood. I was having such a bad mood that I yelled at my girl. And she didn't liked it (of course not duhhh). But it wasn't my intension to yell at her. It just happened. The reason I yelled was because some guy had told my girlfriend that I was drunk (which I wasn't) and I overheard them so I turned around and told her that I'm not drunk and I've raised my voice a bit, so it came out as a yell. From the beginning I had hoped that everything will go ok and we all have a good time. Especially for me and my girlfriend. But it just went all wrong. So I drove her home and she told me that she was angry at me and stuff and I couldn't say a word to her. So I went home and I wrote her an email telling her it wasn't my intension to yell, that I was sry, everything I had planned for tonight was just to have a good time for both of us etc etc. Later on I went to sleep. In the morning she text messaged me telling me that she was very angry and that she wants to break up. I replied (I cant remember what I've told her) and she replied back telling me she wants to break up. And so there I was, crying, blaming myself etc etc. I've even called some of my friends and asked for help. But they couldn't really help me out. The next morning I woke up crying, I've felt a pain which I cannot describe, a pain of losing someone, a pain of losing something valuable in my life). I went to her home (I've called her mom up and her mom didn't know that she broke up with me. SO I told her and asked her if I can come by. She told me yes so I went to her home, talked to the mom for a while and then talked to my gf. I've told myself that I wouldn't cry but I couldn't resist it; I gave her a hug and began to cry. She told me: "If you ever yell at me again, I will break u with you for good" Then she told me give her two weeks the time to think about it. To think about if this is the relationship she wanted. To be honest with you, I've had given up the hope. I don't want to think about the idea of after two weeks she will say to me: no I don't want it anymore. I will go crazy. I will go crazy for sure. That's why I've given up hope. I'm 100% sure that she loves. and I know she very angry at me. What shall I do? I don't want to buy stuff or buy flower for her. All those things are just materials. I want to show her that I'm willing to work on this relationship and that I really really love her. How can I do that? Plz help me out. Explaining to her that I didn't yell at her on purpose didn't work and this isn't the best way to get me out of this situations. Plz help me. Btw words cant explain how much I love her. We've been through hell in December. She had an abortion with my baby in her wound. it was the biggest shock in my entire life. My parents still don't know about it. Her parents does. And I've done my best to cope with the situation at her home. I've done a lot of things for all of us (my gf, me and her parents) to get over this difficult situation. I know this part of the story is irrelevant to the one above, but I just want to show how much I love her even if it means to go through hell with her. Please help me! I don't want to lose her. *Edit* She still answers my calls and everything, but her attitude had changed. She treats me like a normal friend right now. I don't feel that there's love in the air anymore. I know she acting coldly towards me and I know that she still loves me. She still thinks about me everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Just a few questions for you. I know you love her with all your heart. Do you love her enough to want her to be happy, even if it's not WITH you? And how much do you love yourself? Enough to walk away from her knowing it's the best thing for you right now? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Appje Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Just a few questions for you. I know you love her with all your heart. Do you love her enough to want her to be happy, even if it's not WITH you? And how much do you love yourself? Enough to walk away from her knowing it's the best thing for you right now? Just curious. Well yeh of course I want her to be happy. Even if it's with another guy. And yeh I am capable of letting go, even if it's difficult for me. But I don't want to give up without trying. *edit* let me give you some background info about this girl. She's no the ugliest nor the hottest girl, she normal and kind. Way too kind. Lots of guys had used her and throw her aside. Even her best friends are kinda like that. I was the first who stood up for her. I was the first who gave her everything she wanted (Not buying things etc etc but I meant love and stuff) Before me she had a lot of problem at home. When I came everything had been fixed. Even her mom likes me. Because I've had helped her with many things and led her to happiness. I am willing to give her that happiness once again (if she wants it) But if she feels she doesn't need me anymore, fine with me. When I asked her to be my gf, she was very happy. and of course me too. I even got in trouble with my sister. She doesn't like her and she acted like a bitch and my mom some lies about her past, and my mom began to dislike her. So I had this feeling she isnt welcome anymore at my home and the last few months I've been going to her house. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Sounds you might have been an "enabler" to her. You 'fixed' her and once she was fixed, he did not have a need for you anymore. Do you understand that concept? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Appje Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Yes I do understand the concept. But she's not that kind of person. I am 99.99% sure she loves me. The only thing is that I yelled at her. And she doesn't like it. Of course I know everyone has it's pride but I couldn't help it. I just hate it when ppl tell some lies about me. I WASNT drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Yes I do understand the concept. But she's not that kind of person. I am 99.99% sure she loves me. The only thing is that I yelled at her. And she doesn't like it. Of course I know everyone has it's pride but I couldn't help it. I just hate it when ppl tell some lies about me. I WASNT drunk. If you are 100% sure she loves you, leave her alone and give her space. Let her come back to you if that is what she desires. In the meantime, focus on learning to control your anger so you don't do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Appje Posted January 23, 2007 Author Share Posted January 23, 2007 Yeh, I'm doing that right now. I've just send her a text msg, and now I've regret it. Just an ordinary text msg, she asked for me at school today, my friend told me, and I asked her if it's true and if she need me for smth. I'm not gonna call her for now. Right now school is more important for me. Controlling my anger too. Of course. *edit* Would it be wise to go over to her home in this weekend? Yesterday I asked her if she could help me with some school project and she told me yes but only in the weekends. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted January 23, 2007 Share Posted January 23, 2007 Yeh, I'm doing that right now. I've just send her a text msg, and now I've regret it. Just an ordinary text msg, she asked for me at school today, my friend told me, and I asked her if it's true and if she need me for smth. I'm not gonna call her for now. Right now school is more important for me. Controlling my anger too. Of course. *edit* Would it be wise to go over to her home in this weekend? Yesterday I asked her if she could help me with some school project and she told me yes but only in the weekends. No, I think giving her space right now and focusing 100% on you is the best thing for you right now. Link to post Share on other sites
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