my best male friend has dumped me

[kimba]

my best male friend (bradley)has dumped me. I'm devastated, lost and i feel part of me is missing. I'll explain it all in point form

 

1. Have been best friends with this guy for 4 years.(i'm female) He's gay. We got together once at the beginning if our friendship but nothing after that.

2. had a really intense, close friendship, did everything together.

3. he started going out with a guy at one stage 2 years ago for a few months- we had a bit of a bust up then , but stayed friends. i realised then how attached i was.

4. has a female gay friend who he adores, and he often tried create situations to make me jealous, treated me very differently when she was around.

5. Throughout our friendship he'd call me every day, he loved me very much as a friend.

6. him and some other of my friends arranged for us to go on holiday together just before christmas. I was looking forward to it alot because this was the first christmas without my dad and i was really wanting the distraction and the sense that my life would go on.

7. One of my friends (Jenny)cancelled it because she was worried about getting all the christmas shopping and crap done before christmas and this trip was to end about 4 days before "the big day" and she was one of the main drivers and so the whole thing was cancelled. I had a big argument with her because the trip was organised 3 months earlier and then she goes and cancels it 5 days before. So I had a falling out with her.

8. I tried to organise Bradley and the others another lift and he didn't want to and so i got really pissed off and hung up on him. I wish I didn't but thats how i felt at the time.

9. A week later he rings and cancels our other holiday on an island for new years because he is angry at me for being angry at him.

10. So then i have no friends

11. In that same conversation he indicates that he might be ending the friendship

12 Around this time me and Jenny make up.

13 two weeks later (january 4th) Bradley rings and says "I don't think we should see each other anymore. I still like you though and I'm not angry".

14. i was stunned. In the 5 minute converstion we had he said that we were too co-dependent and he relies to much on me and i rely too much on him and that our friendship was obsessive. I was lost for words.

15 I phoned him back 20 minutes later and there was no answer and i left about 4 messages over the next day.

16. he wouldn't return any calls. A friend of mine who's day job is a social worker told me to write a letter to him just so i have the chance to have my say. So i wrote a letter telling him how i'll miss his friendship

and that i wish he'd given me more of an explanation. I wasn't angry in the letter. He hasn't replied to that.

17. All this time whwn all of this has been going on i have been down at my mums in the mountains. I've got back to my house in the city now 2 days ago, have met up with a couple of my friends (who bradley met through me) and its clear they are still in contact with him and yet refuse to help me.

18.jenny hardly ever spoke to bradley before and now i hear through another friend that they are in contact. i feel uncomfortable that all my friends know more about WHY he has done this than me. it is not fair.

19. I just feel like disappearing.

20. i went to a friends place last night and he started saying "Well bradley has resigned form his job... or maybe you don't want to hear it?... anyway he told me about it.

21 Just hearing about him has regressed my progress towards recovery.

22. you see we were so close knit that all of my friends became his friends. And i feel that they are on his side. i feel like I have no one. Jenny has refused point blank to talk about him with me.

23. So i rang him today (i haven't attempted to ring since the initial dumping nearly 3 weeks ago)( and i know i shouldn't have but i thought i've got nothing left to lose except something that used to be dignity)

24 I left a message and said something like " was at Brians last night and he started talking about you and i just thought i'd give you a call. I just thought I'd call to see if you've changed your mind"

25. I just miss him so much I woke up crying this morning

26 I just feel like he'd have to be missing me. But then if he's changed his mind wouldn't he just call?

27. what do I do?

28 thankyou for reading

[kimba]

i just wanted to add that when i wrote to him a said that we could have decided to see each other less, and that i thought having no contact was a bit dramatic. This happened over three weeks ago and i still can't belive that he has done this. i just don't know what to do.

[miss snoopy]

You should post this in the friendship section...

[kimba]

well how do i do that now?

[kimba]

i put it in the friendship one (although the problem is still the same) so maybe this one can be deleted